Roid Rage Part 4 (Kull the Conqueror, 1997)

Kull_the_Conqueror_PosterBased on the popularity of Hercules the Legendary Journeys and Xena Warrior Princess, an attempt was made to revisit the worlds of Robert E. Howard.  This time, it was another of his sword and sorcery heroes.  Kull is a barbarian who blunders his way into the crown.

Really. He is trying to join an army, but the general mocks him, noting his army is comprised of men of noble blood and Kull is a mere barbarian.  The General is called back to the castle because the King is slaughtering all his next of kin. Kull shows up, gets into a fight with the king, slaying him.  As both the general and one of the King’s sons tries to claim the throne, the King gives them the finger and proclaims Kull King with his dying breath.

Rules are rules, and so Kull gets to live the good life.  Meanwhile, this shady guy with a beast man assistant is resurrecting an ancient sorceress who happens to be the magically babelicious Tia Carrere.  She plans to rule her kingdom again and seduces Kull.  After she and her minion convince everyone Kull was poisoned by a member of his Harem, Kull is tossed into slavery, but he escapes.  Then they go on a mission to get the magical power that can stop Carrere.

This is a pretty sub-par tale, even by fantasy standards.  It is not pulpy fun, and in spite of being a theatrical release? It feels like a weak TV movie. And frankly, the appeal of Sorbo is kind of lost on me here.

Kull is a lifeless adaption of Howard’s work.

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