Ghosts With Tattoos (the Ghosts of Mars, 2001)

In the future, the terraforming of Mars has begun There are colonies all over Mars. The world is now a Matriarchy. A police force is sent to Mars to transfer prisoner Desolation Williams. They arrive to find the town empty except for some folks in lock up, including Desolation. He and the others have no real answer for what is happening.

They soon discover that there may be more to it than a murder spree. The ghosts of Mars indigenous population are taking over the bodies of earthlings. Melanie Ballard is a tough space cop and finds herself aligned with Williams, who proclaims his innocence in the murders of countless colonists. While she believes he is not a killer, she believes in following her orders and bringing him in, but survival requires them to wait on that and work together. The spirits or organisms (whatever they are) take over people…in stage one they stare intensely at their hands. Then they start mutilating themselves. Then they get violent.

The exploration of the mystery gets slow at times, and there is a lot of running around that feels like padding for the story. The film is bloody and violent when not being slow and expository.

The story is basically told in flashback with Ballard giving testimony about what happened. Then there are the flashbacks in flashbacks. This gets tiring fast as characters show up to tell Ballard what she missed.

In addition, the acting is fairly weak in most cases and nothing is to compelling. The reveal of the cause it a twist that neither surprises nor adds to the situation.

It is interesting to note that the film started as Escape From Mars, a Snake Plissken tale. The studio got a bit uncomfortable with a third Escape film and opted to have Carpenter change up the story.

There is no telling if Escape From Mars would have been a better film than Ghosts of Mars, but this is easily the worst of Carpenter’s work.

October 21, 2016 0

In the End Pt 5 (Final Destination 5, 2011)

So, The Final Destination was not the end. Final Destination 5 tells us the story of Sam who is on his way to to a work retreat. He has a vision of the bridge collapsing and almost everyone on their bus dying. So he gets off the bus and a lot of his co-workers follow, as they are nearing the end of the bridge, the collapse starts.

What follows is the same basic plot of all the films. Sam figures out the patterns, a few of the characters try and prevent the inevitable. The film brings back Tony Todd, who shows up to be cryptic, but introduces a new concept. If you kill a person who was not supposed to die for a long time, you get their years. The film is the first where the characters do not rely on stories about flight 180 t fill in the blanks.

The deaths are pretty elaborate and the characters are mostly sympathetic in this film, making their demise less of a comeuppance. As usual there are a couple especially memorable deaths, one involving eye laser surgery gone horribly wrong and one gymnastics themed death.

The film is a bit better than the previous two installments and it has a really good twist ending.

October 20, 2016 0

Blood Feast (Vampires, 1998)

Carpenter followed up Escape From L.A. with a foray into traditional monsters with Vampires. James Woods plays the Vatican’s lead Slayer Jack Crow. Crow leads an elite team of vampire hunters. They are a rough bunch who believe God exists…but they think He is a bastard. Crow believes in his work, but is tired of the Church. After a productive day of vampire hunting, the group celebrates with hard drinking and prostitutes. But they are surprised by the Master Vampire. He slaughters the Slayers, leaving only Jack and Anthony (Daniel Baldwin). Crow and Anthony discover a young woman named Katrina was bitten by the Master before he went on the Killing spree. They decide to use her to track the Master.

The two are saddled with a Priest to represent the Vatican’s interests. This actually helps, as it gives Crow a chance to explain how things work in the world of Carpenter’s Vampires. Crosses, Holy Water don’t work. Just a stake through the heart and sunlight. This is not like Blade (which came out the same year) where the vampires are a natural occurrence. The Vampires here are decidedly supernatural. The end result of an exorcism gone wrong, the Master now seeks the Black Cross, which will help him become more powerful and survive stuff like sunlight.

Probably one of the more interesting things about the film is the Vatican connection. Unlike Prince of Darkness, which had an “Everything you know is wrong” approach, it is the Vatican has kept the existence of vampires a secret. Woods is perfectly good as the cranky and revenge driven Crow. As blue caller Slayer Anthony Montoya, Baldwin has a likeable charm. Tim Guinee’s Father Adam is likable as an enthusiastic wannabe Slayer.

In all of this, the part that does not work is the design for the Master. He is not going t stand out in a lineup. He is kind of dull, both in character and appearance.

Honestly, Vampires feels like the beginning of a decline for Carpenter.

October 20, 2016 0

In the End Pt 4 (The Final Destination, 2009)

The Final Destination was directed by David Ellis (Final Destination 2). It’s cast is unconnected to the previous films, but it connects itself to the original film, suggesting that this film closes Death’s plan.

The film begins at a Nascar race. We meet a group of really obnoxious people and also Nick and Lori. some of the only sympathetic characters in the film. Nick has a vision of a terrible car wreck that kills everyone in the stands. So, he freaks out and most of the obnoxious people leave with him, as they are yelling at Nick, there is an explosion and everyone realizes they lucked out. One of the obnoxious guys is a racist who wants to run back in to get his wife, but is stopped by a black security guard.

As one no doubt expects at this point, people start to die. Nick starts to put it all together. The characters are mostly unsympathetic, and in this film, the deaths actually seem more vindictive. The racist goes to put a burning cross on the security guard’s lawn only to get hooked by his own tow truck and dragged to a flaming death. They try and save the remaining people, as Nick figures out that folks are dying in the order of his vision.

One of the things hinted at in the first film is you cannot die outside of the order of death, or at least if it skips you and goes to the next person, it just goes through the remaining order and jumps back to you. This film expands on this, with one character trying to commit suicide, and being unsuccessful every time.

There was talk that this was the last film in the franchise, as the returns were ever decreasing. This is why, instead of Final Destination 4, they titled it The Final Destination. This is, not a particularly good end to the franchise, but I guess it would be an ending. If they had not gone on to make Final Destination 5. The advertising made a big deal about how it was in 3-D, but the 3-D was not all that effective.

All in all, this is a very mediocre sequel, not even reaching a so bad it it’s good range.

October 19, 2016 0

Can I Play With Madness (In the Mouth of Madness, 1994)

Carpenter returned to the big screen for his next endeavor. A mind-bending Lovecraft inspired horror film. Starring Sam Neill, In the Mouth of Madness is about insurance investigator John Trent who is looking into the disappearance of famed horror writer Sutter Cane.

Cane is like Stephen King in popularity, as well as his books being centered around a certain geographical location. Sent on his quest by Charlton Heston’s Jackson Harglow (the publisher), Trent starts to discover that Cane’s books are having a profound and violent impact on his readers. Trent is finally able to create a map using portions of covers to Cane’s previous books.

He embarks on his journey with publisher liaison Linda Styles (Julie Carmen). As they arrive, they start noticing something askew with the small town of Hobb’s End. The buildings all fit locations described in the books. There are people who seem to be from the books. At one point, Trent tries to debunk this by pointing out that that they would be able to see an ancient church from a window, but Styles points out he is looking from the wrong window.

As the world seems to unravel before Trent’s eyes, he fights believing what is true. In the Mouth of Madness is the final film in Carpenter’s loose Apocalypse Trilogy (the first is the Thing and second Prince of Darkness). And it is a perfectly trippy film. Carpenter uses the Lovecraft elements particularly well.

The visual effects are very well done, feeding the creepy vibe of the film. Much of the early part of the film suggests Trent is hallucinating, but upon arriving in Hobb’s End, it is clear that something is truly wrong. The effects feed this twisting of reality in a particularly effective way.

Carpenter’s direction is on point in this film, he is in control and not having to worry about studio concerns like he did with Memoirs of an Invisible Man.

The cast is very good, and Neill sells both the skeptical investigator and the man losing his mind. Julie Carmen has the second biggest role in the film, and she is terrific as both support and foil for Neill.

The weakest link is the soundtrack. Carpenter went for more of a rock vibe, which does not support the film in the way his earlier soundtracks did.

Still, in the end, this one of Carpenters stronger entries and has a lot to enjoy for the viewer.

October 18, 2016 0

In the End Pt 3 (Final Destination 3, 2006)

Final Destination 3 returns it’s focus to high school kids (led by Mary Elizabeth Winstead) surviving the near death experience when someone has a vision (Winstead’s Wendy)…this time on a roller coaster.

Wendy has a tragic vision of a roller coaster accident. Getting off the roller coaster Wendy and her friends narrowly avoid the accident. Her boyfriend comments on Flight 180, but blows it off thinking he is mocking her. But as survivors start dying, Wendy starts seeing the signs in photos from the night of the accident (a la 1976’s the Omen). This time Wendy gets no help from Tony Todd’s Bludworth…pretty much abandoning any suggestion that he might be more than a mortician).

She actually puts this together late in the film. The characters are not terribly compelling in the film, offering very little opportunity to get to know characters before they die. The characters are roughed out stereotypes. The aggressive jock, the goth kids, the hot vapid girls, the clueless and unsuccessful Pickup Artist.

The film saw the return of Director James Wong to the franchise, but that does little to improve things. The film Does not tie the characters to Flight 180 in any way, which is fine, and explains why Final Destination 2’s presumption of tying up the loose ends of 180 do not impact things. One gets the sense that the deaths are meant to be somewhat ironic. The death scenes get even more elaborate, leading to a lot of spectacle, but little more. Usually the film has one big death moment that seems worse that the others and in this film it is death by tanning bed. The film has no real emotional core to make you care about the characters, several seem to be intentionally annoying so that you are less bothered by their dying.

Final Destination 3 adds nothing to the franchise’s mythology, nor does it put it to real interesting use.

October 18, 2016 0

Be as Little Children (Village of the Damned, 1995)

Village of the Damned is Carpenter’s second remake. This one is not quite as inventive as the Thing. Here, Carpenter sticks much closer to the source material. The film begins in an idyllic small California town where there is a community barbecue. In the midst of the festivities, the entire town falls unconscious. The government enters the scene very quickly to assess the situation. They find there is a line that can be crossed, where a person will pass out. Almost as quickly as it hit, the town wakes up.

Soon, six women discover they are pregnant. The babies are all born at the same time (but one is stillborn), and the government leaves behind researches to keep an eye on the newborns. As the years progress the five children are becoming quite peculiar and are surrounded by mysterious tragedies. The children all have silvery hair (the actors are quite annoyed that people think they wore wigs. They did not) and are immensely smart. They are eventually kept away from other children and taught by Christopher Reeve (in his last role before being paralyzed). Reeve’s Alan Chaffee knows there is a problem brewing and starts trying to find ways to block the children’s psychic powers. He also starts to connect with the young David, who seems to have more empathy than the other children. This is, in part, due to the stillborn having been meant to be his partner.

Really, the visuals of the film are striking. The five children with shocking silver hair and the subtle visual effects (primarily in their eyes and faces, the more intensely they focus, the more their alien physiology becomes dominant).

The performances are all dependable for the needs of the film. Reeve makes good use of his decent guy reputation and Kirstie Alley is good in the role of cold and calculating government liaison Dr. Susan Verner. But really? the standouts are Thomas Dekker as David and Lindsey Haun as Mara. Haun is chilling and full of menace, while Dekker’s growing humanity makes him truly sympathetic in his loneliness.

While not as unique as his previous remake, the Village of the Damned is a nicely done horror film that pays homage to more classic horror.

October 18, 2016 0

In the End Pt Two (Final Destination, 2003)

The first film was successful enough for the studio to produce a sequel. They hired second unit director David Ellis (who would go on to direct a later installment in the franchise and Snakes on a Plane).

Kimberly and her friends are going on a road trip. While waiting to get on the highway, Kimberly has a vision of a massive and horrific traffic accident. When she blocks the exit ramp, people start getting upset and a state trooper starts to talk with her…in the midst of their discussion, the accident occurs.

In this film, everyone is aware of Flight 180 from the first film, allowing the characters to quickly come together and try and figure out how to beat the system. There is some question for the audience on how much these deaths occur because of the characters interference (one character likely would not have died had the characters not called her on the phone and freaked her out). The film brings back Clear, who has had herself committed, because a padded room is as safe as it can get (or so goes her logic). Clear is the last survivor, Alex apparently dying between films. She helps Kimberly and they visit Bludworth the mortician (Tony Todd). He gives them some mumbo jumbo about new life severing the design of death.

The film culminates in an orgy of Rube Goldberg styled deaths. Everything leads to someones death, until there are only a few survivors. And this is what the franchise becomes from here on out. Just how ridiculously elaborate can the deaths be?

The film has a twist towards the end tying back to the first film. But the revelation does not really add anything to the story, other than, “Oh wow, they were connected to the original film!” The film starts the trend of expanding the cast to allow for more death and mayhem. Also, just like the first film, the last names of the characters are famous names of horror.

October 17, 2016 0

Crypt Keepin’ Carpenter (Body Bags, 1993)

An attempt by Showtime to create a Horror Anthology to compete with HBO’s Tales From the Crypt, Body Bags both starred and featured direction from John Carpenter. Showtime killed the series but released the three shorts set against bookend segments hosted by Carpenter as a creepy coroner. His assistant was Tobe Hooper, director of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Both directed a segment as well.

Just like the Crypt Keeper, the Coroner makes schlocky jokes, before introducing the story. It is not entirely certain each bookend was meant for the story that followed.

The first tale, the Gas Station, is about a young woman on her first night working at a gas station on a lonely stretch of road. After a parade of weirdos, she discovers she is being stalked by a serial killer. It is not a unique story, but it is well done, with a nice little twist. Wes Craven has an amusing cameo as a creepy drunk who hits on the young woman.

The second segment, Hair, is about a man who is obsessed with his thinning hair. In spite of his girlfriend’s insistence that it does not matter to her, he cannot stop fearing losing his hair. Everywhere he looks he sees luxurious heads of hair. He drives his girlfriend away because he won’t accept himself. One night, he discovers a clinic that promise actual regrowth of lost hair. Richard runs to the clinic for their service. He is stunned when they try and talk him out of it, but he wants hair. But in the end, he finds the hair wants him just as much as he wants it. This is an entertaining story with and entertaining performance from Stacy Keach. This is also the most humorous of the stories.

The best segment is the Eye, starring Mark Hamill as a minor league baseball player whose career is cut short when he loses an eye. He is offered a chance at a new experimental surgery that gives him a donor eye. But with the eye comes dark and depraved visions. Are they his own or the previous owner of the eye? Hamill gives a strong performance. Of the three tales, this is the best of the bunch.

As with all anthologies, some installments are better than others. But thankfully, in the case of Body Bags, all three are ranging from decent to very good. While the first two segments are directed by John Carpenter, the Eye is directed by Tobe Hooper. This is an enjoyable film. And for those curious…you get to see Luke Skywalker’s bare butt.

October 17, 2016 0

In the End Pt One (Final Destination, 2000)

Welcome the the Final Destination Franchise, where a bunch of white people and one black guy try and escape the clutches of death. This is both a joke and a fact. There is one (sometimes two-one is almost always a police officer/FBI guy) black guy per movie.

Anyways, the film tells the story of Alex and his classmates who are going on a class trip to France. While sitting on the plane, Alex has a terrifying vision of the plane exploding mid-flight. He starts to notice all sorts of things occurring just as they did in the vision. Panicking, Alex starts to yell that they need to get off the plane. He and a few other students are dragged from the flight. Angered by being removed, tough guy Carter starts a fight with Alex, only to be ended by the plane exploding.

This leads to Alex being a figure of fear and revulsion. His classmates are frightened over what he knows and how he would know it. The night after the funeral, Alex’s friend Todd dies in mysterious circumstances, and Alex starts to see real patterns. The only person to believe him at first is Clear (last name Rivers, 0i). But as more people from the flight die shocking deaths, the others come around and try and find a way to cheat death.

The premise of the film is a pretty clever one, though it seems like they were not fully sure the nature of the situation. Is death sentient? Todd’s death has the most intense lead up of the film, where Todd is clipping nose hairs (which leads you to think he might get impaled) , then plugs in a radio, the whole time water from a toilet leak creeps towards him. After he is dead, the water seeps back to the toilet, as if covering it’s tracks. This is really the only time it seems freakishly supernatural. Otherwise the deaths are elaborate but plausible as chance.

The film features Tony Todd in a brief appearance as a mortician who explains the movies plot fr the characters. One gets the sense that Todd’s character was meant to be a bigger role.

Behind the camera were a few X-Files alum and they try and work their magic here. The death sequences range from shocking to elaborate. Overall, I find a lot to like with this film. While the franchise is more of a guilty pleasure for me, this first film is one I found quite enjoyable.

October 16, 2016 0