The Original Haunted Palace (House On Haunted Hill, 1959)

Eccentric and rich, Frederick Loren and his wife Annabelle invite five strangers (chosen for their unique needs or greed) to spend a night in a haunted mansion for $10,000. They arrive and are told of the various murders that have occurred in the house.

As they seem to face ghosts, eventually there is a murder, causing tensions to run high as nobody knows who they can trust and find they must wait out the night. Is the house truly haunted, as caretaker Pritchard claims? Or is it an elaborate ruse always meant to end in murder?

The opening is a bit clunky due to it devoting it’s time to two talking heads providing exposition. One of those is Pritchard, who provides the same information to everyone at the party, making his sequence wholly unnecessary.

However, once the story begins, it is full of engaging twists and turns. House on Haunted Hill suggests there are no actual ghosts, though Pritchard insists that there are.

Of course, Price, with his campy and creepy style is tremendous fun and the stand out star of the film. The film has some great and creepy visuals and some solidly unnerving moments.

October 24, 2017 0

The Haunted Palace (House of Ghosts, 2012)

A group of rich socialites is having a dinner party with a special treat. A powerful medium has been invited to put on a show, by opening a door to the great beyond. The group is confronted by the ghosts of their pasts, the dead come back to judge them for their sins.

This is the first Mihmiverse film with monsters that are not atomic/toxic waste or aliens. And it is really effective. Mihm captures those early Castle horror films (he even introduces the film recommending the audience locate their “Fear Guard” which they should have been given upon entering the theater. The black and white really helps make the most of the shadows and creating an eerie atmosphere.

As with the other films, there are ties to the Mihmiverse (the mother of the veteran from Monster of Phantom Lake is a character). One character is a director of schlocky horror films and there are several jokes that reference Mihm’s own output.

I really enjoy the film, including the twist at the end. The recurring monster is an angel of death type of demon or ghost. Its face is unchanging, but with the large bloodshot eyes and sharp teeth, the horned visage is memorable. It is visually moody but still has a wink. Again, not in mockery, but of real love for the work of William Castle.

October 24, 2017 0

Up From the Depths (Terror From Beneath the Earth, 2009)

He is all ears and teeth and he’s from hell! Alice is trying to find her young brother Danny in a local cave network. Instead, she runs into a mysterious stranger. Alice and Danny’s father Stan runs to the sheriff’s office when his children never return home. With the help of local Geologist Dr. Edwards, they try and find the children, only to discover a giant mutant bat creature.

The creature is able to paralyze its victims and is collecting our heroes to have as a meal.

As with any 50’s era horror, the monster is the result of science. In this case, atomic testing is done in the caves.

The sets for this film are very simple. It is the caverns or the police station. So, in some ways, this almost resembles a play. This is the first film in the Mihmiverse to not feature Professor Jackson (or even his son Captain Jackson), but he is represented by his wife, who brings Dr. Edwards the scientific device that will help save the day.

The music in Mihm’s films really evoke the films of the fifties. It can be overdramatic, sometimes even goofy. It almost always hits the right tone for the film, and that is true here.

The Bat Monster, as prior monsters, looks a bit slapped together with arts and crafts style. It has large unblinking eyes and teeth that look a bit like plastic. In spite of this, there are some nice shots of the creature. Specifically a full reveal as it steps from the shadows.

Terror From Beneath the Earth carries on the b-movie monster tradition fairly well. While a bit more serious than It Came From Another World, it still has its moments of fun.

October 21, 2017 0

In 3-D! (Found Footage 3D, 2017)

Found footage movies are pretty risky really. The primary draw for filmmakers seems to be “small crew” and “can be made on the cheap”. Sometimes, this pays off. A lot of this is related to how well the filmmakers know to space out scares and when to focus on drama. Found Footage 3D knows it is entering a very full field, and as such, starts with a wink to the audience.

The starting concept of the film is that Derek and his filmmaker friends are going to make a found footage film at a cabin. Derek announces that they will be making it in 3-D. Because audiences looooove motion sickness.

We are introduced to the crew, which includes Derek’s Ex-Wife Amy, who is dating Mark. Andrew and Carl are longtime collaborators and Lily is the new member of the group. She is excited to be a part of the film, though it seems kind of obvious she got the job because she is cute.

When they arrive at the cabin, they find out that Derek did not alert them to the fact that it is long rumored to be haunted. At first, Derek tries to unnerve the crew, but then things start to occur that indicate there are truly dark forces at work.

Found Footage 3D’s makers obviously know their goal of making a found-footage horror film is a bit of a tough sell. Found footage films, in general, have certain limitations. Why were the people filming this situation? Why do they keep filming? In this case, they opt to lampshade some of this. When asked why 3-D? Derek pauses and declares “Well, he is a 3-D enthusiast!”. His partner Andrew seems less than satisfied with this. At one point, a character mentions bad CGI monsters, and Derek takes offense. And then the monster is kind of goofy looking CGI. And the odd thing is? It works! It is not an impressive looking CGI monster…and that almost helps the film, rather than hinders it.

They also manage some really good jumps…even in moments where I was expecting something, I was still startled. And while the film is very aware of the potential pitfalls of found-footage, it does not overthink itself and become needlessly complicated.

Found Footage 3D is both fun and scary and definitely one of those films that shows how enjoyable well done found footage films can be.

October 18, 2017 0

Humanoid From the Deep (The Monster of Phantom Lake, 2006)

Christopher R. Mihm’s debut is a tale of toxic waste and teens in danger. Professor Jackson (a professor of science!) and his assistant Stephanie have come to the woods of Wisconsin to study the local frogs. Meanwhile, a group of teens is on a camping trip to celebrate graduating from high school. Unbeknownst to any of them, a local company has its employees dumping toxic chemicals into the lake.

When the shell-shocked veteran Michael “Lobo” Kaiser falls into the toxic lake, he is mutated into a giant algae monster that begins to attack those around the lake. It falls to the Professor and Stephanie to figure out how to stop the monster.

The Monster of Phantom Lake features a monster that looks like it was made from paper mache and duct tape…and this works within the confines of the film. With large round and unblinking eyes, the mouthless creature successfully evokes a b-movie monster from the 50’s.

The teens are noticeably not teens and their dialog sounds like what adults in 50’s Hollywood thought teens sound like. The dialog, in general, is quite campy and dated, such as when the professor cheerfully notes he does not pay much attention to the talk of women.

Then there are goofy additions like the Canoe Cops Sven and Gustav. The joke is they get around in a canoe. And they have Norwegian accents. This aspect is a very Minnesota thing.

What brings it all together is a sense of sincerity. Mihm is not mocking the films of the 50’s. Instead, he is looking back fondly. This is not to say they lack humor. The laughs, including the dated language and cheap effects, are intentional. They are simply not derisive.

There is a warm-hearted charm to the Monster of Phantom Lake and it’s simplicity, looking back to a far complex time for movies.

October 18, 2017 0

Beware The Mannequins (Hell House LLC, 2015)

Not to be confused with the 2001 documentary Hell House (about a “Hell House” meant to scare people into accepting Jesus), Hell House LLC is a found footage film that follows filmmakers who are investigating horrifying tragedy that left fifteen dead in a Halloween Haunted House tour. There was only one survivor of the crew and she is now providing the documentarians with access.

As the footage of the haunted house crew progresses, there are incidents where they hear music playing on a piano, they see things move, and typical creepy events. Each incident seems to get more and more frightening. It all starts to escalate, leading up to the horror of that Halloween night.

Hell House LLC is a very well done found footage film. It can be downright unnerving at times, with real jumps and scares. It uses the cliches like the scary clown to lull the viewer, but then surprise you by just how creepy it all is. Admittedly, not sure I would have held out as long as they did with the creepy scares, but Hell House LLC is a strong horror film.

October 17, 2017 0

The Hatfields & McCoys & Zombies (Survival of the Dead, 2009)

Romero’s career as a director came with this final installment to his Dead franchise. A more traditional story structure than the previous film, this film features characters we only briefly met in Diary of the Dead. The National Guardsman are still trying to get somewhere safe. They meet a kid who tells them about an island. When they arrive at the island, they run into a rivalry between people who want to kill the zombies and those who want to protect them.

It is set close to the Diary of the Dead, so we are in the early stages of the world falling apart. This might explain why some of the people want to protect the dead. The Walking Dead explored that territory in its second season as well, but this film predates the show’s first season.

Survival of the Dead is not a particularly good addition to the Romero Dead Universe. It leaves behind any social commentary for a simple plot and a lot of broad humor…that tends not to be particularly funny.

It also relies heavily on rather cheap looking digital effects. This is to the detriment of the film, as it lacks the power of make-up effects by guys like Tom Savini. It is somewhat disappointing that this ended up being Romero’s final film, it would have been great to see him go out on a high note.

October 16, 2017 0

They Built More Houses (The Houses October Built 2, 2017)

The first film was a found footage horror film about filmmakers exploring “extreme” Halloween Haunts. They stumble upon some scary folks and the film ended cryptically with the suggestion all were dead.

The sequel explains this away as they were saved due to people calling the police while watching a live feed. A year later, the film makers are trying to make money promoting horror haunts, but everybody wants the girl from the video feed, Brandy, to appear. But Brandy wants nothing to do with it. So, we spend a ridiculously long chunk of the film with the guys going to random funhouses and giving their reviews. They keep getting recommendations to find Hellbent.

They finally convince Brandy to join them and then it all goes freaky and twist after twist occurs. And frankly? It is annoying. The majority of the film is very boring. There is a sequence dedicated running a marathon. We get lots of random drone footage. Can we stop with the drone footage in found footage films? Please?

The constant twists towards the end gets obnoxious…and frankly ripped off the end of Nerve (which probably ripped off another film…). This was an unnecessary sequel that simply brings nothing interesting or new to the original film.

October 16, 2017 0

Found Footage of the Dead (Diary of the Dead, 2007)

Earlier I commented on how the Dead movies are kind of set in an “ever present now”. Diary of the Dead kind of flips that on its head. Diary of the dead is a found footage approach to Romero’s Dead World. All told through footage from the cast of characters camera, it explores the early days of the zombie outbreak. It jumps to the beginning, and the beginning is now.

The film starts out very strongly. A young woman explains that this movie is compiled both from her boyfriend’s footage and footage from the internet. The voiceover is spoken as we watch a news report being conducted in front of a crime scene. As bodies are being loaded into an ambulance, the bodies begin to attack the paramedics. It is a very effective scene followed by news shots covering the riots and looting. We then move to a college film crew making a horror movie. There is an argument regarding whether a monster is supposed to be slow moving or not (which becomes echoed in a far later scene).

The film follows the group as they travel in an RV to make their way to one of the film crew’s homes (he lives in a remote mansion). They meet survivalists, farmers and National Guardsmen as they work towards their final destination.

One of the biggest changes to the traditional Romero formula is that the zombies in this film are much faster. They leap on people, jump out from behind doors and tackle people. They are not as fast as Zak Snyder’s zombies from his Dawn of the Dead remake, but still, they are faster than his earlier films. After a while, the film kind of meanders. But it picks back up when they reach the mansion and everything gets even worse. The characters also get a bit frustrating, behaving in some questionable ways. At one point, one guy films one of his friends being stalked by a zombie and really does not lift a finger to help her.

Overall, this is a decent film. It is interesting that it turns it’s sympathies back towards humans, but it also mirrors the darkness of the original towards the end when we get scenes that are similar to the final moments of the original Night of the Living Dead, asking pretty much the same questions about humanity.

It helps that it is presented as a finished work rather than just a series of footage strung together. This allows for there to be a stronger narrative structure. While no competition for the original three films, this is an overall interesting entry.

October 15, 2017 0

Killer Halloween Party (The Funhouse Massacre, 2015)

On Halloween Night some of the most vile serial killers the world has ever seen are freed from a top secret prison facility. They hide out in a funhouse and start to kill off the patrons. A group of friends attends the event, discovering they are trapped with the homicidal maniacs and try to get out alive.

At times, the film is pretty fun. This is one of those horror comedies where the characters are slightly wittier than one would likely be in such a situation, and seem to be very aware when they say something that means they are about to die.

But on the other hand, the film spends a lot of time on build up and yet delivering very little. We are introduced to a set of serial killers based in pretty standard horror movie iconography. There is the cannibal, the evil dentist, the diabolical cult leader, the killer clown…and yet, the film never really gives the characters much life. Outside of Jere Burns’ evil cult leader, the characters show little spark, because we only see them in brief introductions. There is not a lot to work with, and this is unfortunate, because this film has solid character actors like Clint Howard and Robert Englund (who only has a small role).

Much of the mayhem takes place off camera, with our lead characters stumbling on the killers in progress. And the set up takes long enough that once the leads start running into the killers, they get dispatched rather quickly…and not very imaginatively. Horror Comedy tends to work best when it becomes cartoonish, but the film stays pretty low key in that regard.

While some of the early attempts at humor fall flat, the comedy does get stronger once in the Funhouse. The gore effects are pretty strong through the film. But the pacing of the film really hinders it from being a classic of horror comedy. And the lack of defined characters means the viewer cannot really connect and engage with the story.

October 15, 2017 0