The Hunter or The Hunted? Pt 1 (Alien, 1979)

Alien_PosterAlien begins rather quietly.  We see the interiors of a ship that is floating through space.  It comes to life and we meet a crew…space truckers, so to speak.  We do not know much about what they are hauling, though it does not matter much.  We get that these are working class joes.  This is not Star Trek.  The ship has awakened the crew due to a distress message.

Going down to the planet, one of the crew members  is attacked by a strange creature that attaches to his face.  And so begins a terrifying trip for the crew as they try to eliminate the alien creature that evolves to become a greater and greater threat.

Alien is a expertly crafted “haunted house in space” tale.  The ship is vast, yet it has a confined and claustrophobic feel.  The design of the sets is that of a blue collar environment.  It feels used, run down.  It is an industrial, a utilitarian styled ship.  It was assembled for it’s purpose, not it’s beauty.

The alien ship is unique and feels remarkably unearthly.  The pilot, long petrified is inhuman and ominous.

Then there are the designs of the creature itself.  The work of famed artist H.R. Geiger, the alien (later dubbed the xenomorph in the series) feels uniquely creepy and unearthly.  A hard shell, with acid for blood, it seems to exist only to destroy.

The cast  is terrific as weary workers just trying to get by, but being forced to deal with something beyond their pay grade.  Sigourney Weaver’s Ellen Ripley steps up to the plate to lead the fight after the crew takes some losses.  At this point the game becomes more one of cat and mouse.

Alien is a film full of surprises and character and manages to stand up to repeated viewings.  It has become a classic for good reason.

You Take the Good, Take the Bad (Life, 2017)

life_2017_posterA sci-fi thriller set aboard the International Space-station, Life is a competent film.  The effects are good enough to allow for suspension of disbelief.  The cast  is quite likeable.  The story is uncomplicated.

A research team discovers a life form in soil samples from Mars.  Eventually, the life form grows and as often happens, it gets free and starts killing people.  The scientists must find a way to keep the creature from reaching earth and…well, not die.

It might sound like I disliked Life.  But actually?  I enjoyed it just fine.  I never got bored and liked the characters.  But it was not nearly as risky, even the ending feels like an attempt to feel edgier than it is.

Again, I enjoyed the film, but it won’t be joining the pantheon of Sci-Fi monster movie classics.  But it was okay.

Fear of Santa Claus: Television Edition Pt 2 (And All Through the House, Tales From the Crypt, S1 Ep2, 1989)

tales_from_the_crypt_s1EC was the controversial publisher of crime and horror comics in the 1950’s.  The comics code kind of killed them.  Funny enough, the EC Comics stories were very “moral”.  Each story involved people doing evil and getting their comeuppance.  In 1972 there was a film based on the comics, adapting the stories.  And All Through the House was included in the  anthology…it was a very serious affair with Joan Collins.  It is extremely serious.  In 1989, HBO brought the Crypt Keeper to the television scream, I mean, screen.  Using popular actors of the time (episodes featured Tom Hanks, Arnold Schwarzenegger and John Lithgow, among others).  Some were big stars, some were rising stars, some waning and some unknowns who were discovered much later.  It was a popular show that was eventually brought to the networks (albeit in an edited format) through syndication.

Written by Monster Squad director Fred Dekker and directed by Robert Zemeckis, the episode is both full of tension and laughs.  Mary Ellen Trainor plays the wife of Marshall Bell.  She kills him on Christmas Eve, and while disposing of the body, encounters a maniac in a Santa Suit.  Much of their initial confrontation gets played for laughs.  Especially as the Santa Suited killer is the one getting hurt.  Larry Drake offers some comical reactions as he is hurt by Trainor.

But of course, Trainor killed her husband, so the story cannot end well.  Bookended by the Crypt Keeper, the story begins and ends with bad puns,  This is a very entertaining episode, and one of the series strongest.  It is a lot of fun for a tale about a homicidal killer in a Santa suit.

Fear of Santa Clause TV Edition Pt 1 (Tales From the Darkside, S3: Seasons of Belief, 1986)

tales-from-the-darkside-seasons-of-belief-1986Tales from the Darkside was a creation of George Romero.  It ran for four seasons, with each episode being half an hour.  It was a more horror themed take on the Twilight Zone.

The episode Seasons of Belief is about a family in which the kids express no Christmas spirit.  They are upset that they cannot watch TV on Christmas Eve.  They are bored, speak ill of Santa and so on.  The parents start telling their children a story about “the Grither”. He is an angry Christmas Spirit who seeks out anyone who calls his name.  The parents start weaving in odd folklore and songs about the Grither.  Of course, the kids (already not believing in Santa Clause) keep calling his name after the parents tell them he will come to find them.

The kids become more and more frightened of the made up monster.  The parents, instead of calming the fears keep making them worse.  The twist calls into question the nature of the story.  Is the intense fear of the children giving the story life?  Is it truly old folklore, speaking to something very real?

This is a really well done holiday episode, anchored by a good performance from E.G. Marshall.  In spite of facing a very limited budget, the story is effectively told so as to overcome those limitations.

 

 

Fear of Santa Claus Pt 14 (Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale, 2010)

rare-exports-posterOf all the movies I have watched for this series, this Finnish production is the best of the lot.  It is a terrific and creative movie.  In the Korvatunturi Mountains two young boys spy on an excavation mission to locate the grave of Santa Claus.  Pietari is  concerned by this, as he still believes in Santa Claus.  But he finds books in the attic telling the truth about Santa Claus.  Santa and the Krampus are the same myth.  Santa is not a perversion of sainthood here, but rather, a strange and frightening creature, long buried in the mountains.  The excavation is a plan to raid the tomb of Santa.

This of course goes wrong and Pietari and his father find themselves menaced by something from the mountain.  Especially frightening for Pietari is that his friends seem to be disappearing.

The relationship between Pietari and his father is strong (as they are father and son in real life) and effective.  The film is full of horror and yet whimsy.  The Santa creatures look like old and decrepit men, but they are far more.  And the  final moments are comical in the most positive way.  I really do not want to say more as the film really is a treat.  It is the one film in this whole series I recommend without reservation.

Fear of Santa Claus Pt 13 (Sint, 2010)

sint-posterSint (known as Saint here in the United States) is a contribution from the Netherlands.  In this horror film, Saint Nick was not such a nice guy.  He was a disgraced Bishop who would lead his followers to slaughter and pillage villages.  The people seek revenge and kill Saint Nick and his band of ruffians…but this causes a curse.  The film jumps up to 1968 and a family relaxing on December 5th. The house is besieged by strange little monsters who kill all but one member of the family.  Then the film makes one more jump to the present.

It turns out that when there is a full moon on December 5th, Saint Nick returns to punish the naughty.  In modern society, that means pretty much anybody.  Goert, the kid that survived, grew up to be a policeman.  He is a bit on edge some years later (the film is a little vague, one character says it occurs every thirty two years, another every 23 years, and  one character refers to the death of the officer’s family being forty years ago, but if the film takes place in 2010?  It is over fifty years).  The film combines Old Saint Nick with the Krampus and gives us a rather bloody vision of holiday shenanigans.

The film has a bit of a misdirect, making it look like one character is the lead, but killing them off at the start of the action.  Meanwhile a guy named Frank and his buddies are dressed as Saint Nick and Black Petes (this particular bit of folklore is highly controversial as most of the people who dress up as the character are wearing black face, as Frank’s buddies are).  The Black Petes with the real Saint Nick are his troll like minions.  Of course, the police do not believe Frank when he says the Real Saint Nick and his Black Petes killed Frank’s friends.

Frank and Goert team up to fight Saint Nicholas and crazy action ensues.

The film may be a bit off-putting for American audiences, as our horror films have always treated the death of children as taboo.  While the film does not show graphic attacks on children, it is implied that terrible things happen to them.

Sint is visually striking (there is a nicely done scene with the police chasing Nicholas as he rides his horse across roof tops). The makeup for Saint Nicholas is effectively gruesome.  The film is quite well done, though rarely breaks from the most standard of horror movie tropes.  Nobody believes the people who know what is really going on.  Two lone believers team up.  People keep interfering with their attempts to defeat the monster.  The final jump scare.  There is a massive cover up.  But still, it is a pretty decent effort that horror fans should enjoy.

Fear of Santa Claus pt 12 (Elves, 1989)

elves_posterThere are two memorable things about the movie Elves.  It is about little Nazi monsters that are an experiment to create racial purity that seek to mate with some teen girls.  Ew.  It also stars Grizzly Adams himself, Dan Haggerty.  Haggerty died back in January of 2016…and thankfully was able to bury this with 29 acting credits.  Because I have seen Axe Giant: The wrath of Paul Bunyan and as terrible as that film is, it is the better of the two films.

There are, of course, other things that set this film apart.  Not in good ways…but apart none the less.  There is the German Grandpa who displays his concern for his grand daughter by slapping her.  The mother who only seems to derive happiness from making her kids miserable  (she drowns the family cat!).  The little brother who tells his older sister that he likes looking at naked girls…this is when she catches him peeping at her in the shower.  He also swears like a sailor.

 

Then there is the Santa who tries to molest high school aged Kirsten in front of the store.  Thankfully he is killed by an elf so Haggerty can get a job as the new Santa.

The Elves seem to be focused on Kirsten and her family.  And then the Nazis show up, hoping that the Elves mate with Kirsten, because she apparently is genetically pure. This film has one of the saddest exchanges regarding sexual activity ever.  Kirsten explains how she is saving it for someone special.  Her friend explains that rather than risk confrontation with a guy by saying no to sex, she would just rather go through with it so he does not get mad.

Frankly, the plot makes no sense.  The elves are part of an experiment in genetic purity?  Little warped monsters provide the necessary genetic material for a race of pure superman?  This seems kind of unlikely…there is also a big Chinatown style twist about an hour in.  To, you know, class things up a bit.  Also, apparently they do not need conventional means for creating a baby as the film implies Kirsten is pregnant at the end.  Well, not so much implies as explicitly shows us a fetus with a heartbeat.

While this is not quite Troll 2, is practically runs off the road into it.  Elves is a badly acted film where people fight puppets that are less stiff than some of the actors.  It is a genuinely awful film.

I will leave you with this exchange from the film:

“Are we gonna be alright?”

“No, Willy.  Gramps is a Nazi.”

 

Fear of Santa Claus Pt 11 (To All a Good Night, 1980)

to_all_posterLast House on the Left’s David Hess directed one movie.  And To All A Good Night tells you why his directing career began and ended with this film.

Two years after a tragic accident a person in a Santa suit goes around killing kids in an upscale girl’s prep school. It does not get much deeper than that.

The top billed actor in the film is Jennifer Runyan, most notable as the cute college student being tested for psychic powers at the beginning of Ghostbusters.  The characters are all rather uninspired and boring.  This presents a real problem, as it is hard to be all that interested in where the tale is going.  This is a very boring and poorly paced film.

And finally…the poster…there is nothing that says killer Santa movie.  It looks more like an alien themed sci-fi film or a supernatural thriller.

Fear of Santa Claus Pt 10 (A Christmas Horror Story, 2015)

christmas_horror_story_posterA Christmas Horror Story is in the vein of Creepshow or the more recent Trick Or Treat.  There are several stories, all loosely connected by by characters.  For example, one story follows a teenager and her family, while her boyfriend is a part of another story.  Three kids are trying to pull a Ghost Hunters types of investigation of a haunted school.  They are watching video of a police walk through and one of the cops is the center of another story.

One of the unique takes here is that, unlike the majority of anthology films,  the stories jump from one to another.  So, we see a few events in one story, and then jump back to one of the others.  The stories are pretty decent.  There is one in which parents getting a Christmas Tree in the woods results in a strange change to their child.  Another has Santa fighting Zombie Elves.  Another a family is running from the Krampus.  This is more interesting as an idea, as it is a blending of the Wendigo and Krampus myths.  Except, instead of human flesh (as with the Wendigo), it is dark feelings that open the door to the dark spirit of Krampus.

The stories are held together by William Shanter’s DJ.  He keeps trying to bring Christmas Cheer, but is finding that in short supply.  It has some decent visual effects, with the Krampus and zombie elves looking best.  Overall, I think this was a pretty effective anthology.  While not rising to the heights of fun that Trick ‘R Treat pulled off, this is still a decent set of tales.

Fear of Santa Claus Pt 9 (Don’t Open Til Christmas, 1984)

dont_open_posterThe same year we got Silent Night Deadly Night, we got Don’t Open Til Christmas.  Unlike all the films we have seen here so far, this British film is not about a killer Santa.  It is about a killer of Santas.

Basically, anyone in a Santa suit is a target.  Every now and then, the killer strikes in some gruesome way…but the majority of the film is the police investigation and the daily life of one of the victims’ daughter.  And these moments are painfully slow.

It is real simple.  If your slasher film is painfully boring?  You messed up.  And boy is this film boring.  Even the lead up to the attacks lack any tension.  You see a Santa and the guy in the mask is going to kill him.  We never get to know any of the Santas, making it hard to connect with the film’s intended victims.  The killer is not going after the people we know in the film.

This is one dull affair, and if you need to fall asleep on Christmas Eve?  This might do the trick.

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