Little Lake of Horrors (The Monster of Phantom Lake, the Musical!, 2016)

You know…if they were truly dedicated to authenticity, they would have painted everything and everyone in black and white.

But still…the story follows closely the film. Scientists and teens encounter an angry swamp monster. A swamp thing, if you will.

With Music and Lyrics by Adam Boll and directed by Mihmiverse Regular Michael Cook, the musical takes a fun and slightly lighter approach. Not that the original film is heavy and dark, but adding songs adjusts the tone a bit.

Taking his queue from Mihm’s films, Boll composed songs specifically to evoke well-known musicals. There is a song in which the character Elizabeth is singing about her fears in which harkens back to the theme song of HBO’s Tales From the Crypt. Another is reminiscent of Grease. The songs are a lot of fun, filled with humor (and fans of the Mihmiverse will likely notice plenty of in jokes).

The performances are quite good and the full orchestra really gives everything a good punch.

October 29, 2017 0

The Puzzle (Jigsaw, 2017)

Can I be really honest? I should have seen the twist in this film coming from a mile away. Should have. Didn’t, but having seen all the films? Should have. But didn’t.

Anyways, the film starts with a police chase. They are chasing two bit criminal Edgar who demands to see Detective Halloran. He threatens to “Start a Game”, and sets off a switch before being shot.

Meanwhile, five people wake up in a room chained to a wall. They are told they need to make a sacrifice of blood. One quick thinker figures it out and lets everyone else know what to do, allowing four to make it through. Everyone is scared, but clearly unsure what to do next. They try and understand what they are supposed to confess.

As horribly mutilated bodies start to appear in public, coroners Logan and Elizabeth are brought in to try and determine what is happening. The bodies have jigsaw puzzle pieces cut out of them and in the first bodies, they find a Zip drive. It looks like the Jigsaw killings are starting back up. Of course, the evidence seems to point to the real Jigsaw, John Kramer. But everyone knows this to be impossible, as he died very publicly ten years ago.

Halloran suspects Logan and Elizabeth (Elizabeth, it turns out, is an obsessive fan of Jigsaw). Elizabeth, Logan and Detective Hunt (Halloran’s partner) all suspect Halloran.

Meanwhile, the rapidly dropping victims are shown to have dark secrets to confess. And as they reach each new situation, the group is whittled down to two people. It turns out that one has the darkest secret of all. Admittedly, the “trick” of the traps in this film is that, they could all survive if they just think about the situation. This is especially true of the final two survivors confronted by Jigsaw. They literally could both get out alive.

Saw is a franchise that I never quite expected to take off. And yet, it became a regular Halloween tradition for people. But here is the thing, the films just get more and more convoluted. This film tries to narrow it back down. As the series progressed, a lot of the films, the victims were people who wronged Kramer. This went against the message he seemed to by trying to impart in the first film. I have often joked that the original Saw is the Atheist’s Se7en. The torture devices always give you a way to survive. The victims were people who had squandered their lives and were challenged to determine how much they valued their lives.

This got lost as the sequels piled up and we got copycats, apprentices to Kramer and highly elaborate revenge and other subplots. This is not evening bringing up the increasingly wonky timeline. Oh, wait, I brought that up.

And the films added in the concept of the Death Cult that dispenses justice, while breaking previously established rules (such as not killing innocent people as punishment to the bad person). Jigsaw attempts to go back to basics, but really, Jigsaw’s lesson in this film is contradicted by the entire franchise. The franchise left behind the “message” of the first film, and the eight film has zero chance of salvaging that.

Jigsaw is not the worst film in the franchise, and as I said, I always have liked Tobin Bell in this series. But when you start breaking it down, the revelations are not particularly revelatory. And the big reveals feel almost ho-hum. At least it is only an hour and a half.

October 28, 2017 0

Deadly Dolly Begin Again (Annabelle: Creation, 2017)

When they announced Annabelle: Creation, I really thought it was a complete start over, ignoring the previously released film which was…not as successful. Since Annabelle was a prequel to the Conjuring (of a sorts) I had not expected a prequel to the prequel. But Annabelle: Creation is connected to it’s predecessor.

Opening in 1943, we meet Doll maker Samuel Mullins and his wife Esther. They adore their young daughter Bee. When she is killed in a tragic accident they are broken hearted. The film jumps ahead twelve years and the Mullins have opened their home up to a Nun and several orphan girls. Samuel still seems a broken man, and explains his wife is unable to get around much, due to an accident years before. There is one rule given by Samuel, to avoid a certain room.

But curiosity gets the best of young Janice, who opens the door to discover a doll sitting in a chair. This soon results in all sorts of strange events, sitings and soon Janice claims to be seeing the ghost of Bee. Things escalate into a frightening fight for survival by the young girls and their nun.

Annabelle: Creation is a marked improvement for this part of the Conjuring Universe. The rural setting creates an eerie sense of isolation that has a lot of impact. There are plenty of jumps and legit scares in the film. The demon tied to the doll is a classic demon you might see in a cathedral painting, which is fitting with the Christianity themed spirituality. The Mullins are a tragic couple who we discover were so overcome in their grief, they allowed darker spiritual forces into their home and paid a terrifying price.

October 28, 2017 0

Bucket of Blood (Weresquito: Nazi Hunter, 2016)

During World War II Cpl. John Baker is captured and experimented on by the deviant Nazi scientist Schramm. He was saved by the Allied forces, but he is forever changed. When he sees blood, he is transformed into the human-mosquito, or rather the Weresquito. He is on a mission to find Nazis (and specifically Schramm) who are hiding out in America.

His search has unexpected complications as he starts to fall for Schramm’s niece (who is unaware of her uncle’s dark past).

Weresquito is one of those high-concept ideas that feels like it would have been at home in the late fifties. It is promoted as being in Plaz-Mo-Scope which evokes, of course, the gimmicks of the era. What this means is that anytime we see blood, it is red, and the only color in the entire film. This makes for a neat effect. If you have ever seen the horror film Popcorn, this film feels like it could have been one of the “fake fifties films” they made for that movie.

The performances are good (and James Norgard is clearly having fun going over the top as Schramm). The Weresquito himself is a great monster visually. Listen, if you want to see Nazis get their blood sucked out by a man-sized mosquito (and I think you are lying if you say you do not)? This is your film!

October 28, 2017 0

Deadly Dolly (Annabelle, 2014)

Annabelle was a creepy doll introduced in James Wan’s the Conjuring. Based on a case file from Ed and Lorraine Warren, Annabelle is a doll possessed of a demon. The Warrens have her locked in a glass case to this day. Now, the film made some changes. The real Annabelle doll is a Raggedy Ann doll. Wan opted for an old fashioned hand made porcelain doll look, and it is very, very creepy.

The doll proved popular with audiences and the producers decided to move forward with an “origin” story for Annabelle. Mia and John are expectant parents. John surprises Mia with the Annabelle doll, a doll she has been looking for for a long time.

One night they face a home invasion by satanists. In a violent confrontation, both invaders are killed. Soon, there are mysterious happenings and new mother Mia finds herself having frightening visions. John gets rid of the doll right before they move, but when unpacking in the new apartment, they find Annabelle in a box.

With help from both their local priest and a psychic, the couple try and rid themselves of the doll and it’s demon. The film lacks Wan’s touch, and while the Annabelle doll looks as creepy as ever, the stakes never feel all that high. This is in spite of the fact that we are dealing with evil trying to tear apart a family. Without the anchors of Ed and Lorraine Warren, the film feels lost.

October 27, 2017 0

Home Repairs (The Conjuring, 2013)

Ed and Lorraine Warren are semi-famous paranormal investigators. They are devout Catholics and very serious about their work. But they were most prominent in the 70’s and 80’s. Ed actually passed away in 2006, but his wife has carried on their work. They were one of many investigators of the home of Amityville Horror fame. James Wan thought their work would make for an interesting horror film.

The Conjuring is based on the case of the Perron Family. They moved into a home in Rhode Island, only to find themselves facing something very dark. The Warrens come in to investigate and discover the family is being tormented by a demonic force, specifically the spirit of a long dead witch. Lorraine has visions of the dead, while Ed and his crew of investigators observe the house.

The Conjuring is very moody and stylized. You feel compassion for this family in the grips of true horror. The Warrens are kind and gentle with the family, but firm with the spirits of the house. Of course, the film versions of Ed and Lorraine are a bit more glamorous, played by Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga. And frankly, they seem a little less…unhinged, than the real Ed and Lorraine do in some of the video footage I have seen.

The atmosphere is truly creepy, with many scares throughout the film. But the reason it is so effective in it’s tension is how engaging all the performers are. Wan has produced a solid thriller with the Conjuring. It is interesting to see Wan move from the gore soaked slasher territory of Saw to the more spiritual based (and largely traditional) approach to horror. While the visuals are modern, they manage to evoke the old school haunted house horror films of a bygone era.

October 26, 2017 0

The Secret Invasion (The Late Night Double Feature, 2014)

Unlike prior features, the Late Night Double Feature is two ideas that Mihm had where he felt they would not necessarily carry an entire film, but he still wanted to tell. Each episode is about modern TV show length, making them very quickly paced.

In X: the Fiend from Beyond Space an intergalactic mission in 2014 is awakens from deep sleep They have brought aboard an alien corpse. Well, they assumed it was a corpse. After the alien disappears, the crew tries to locate it, but do not realize the creature is assimilating the crew one at a time.

This is kind of what you might get if Alien was made in the 50’s (Right down to the female leads taking on the alien fiend for much of the story). The story has some fun dialog (at one point, they determine the alien must be intelligent as it was wearing pants). The alien looks great with a classic sci-fi feel. X hits the ground running very quickly, wasting no time (but still finding moments to make references to classic and modern sci-fi) .

The Wall People is interesting because the idea feels very modern. Scientist Barney Collin’s wife was killed in an accident and then his son disappeared mysteriously. Eight years later Dr. Edwards and Dr. Gabriel pay him a visit. Barney is not quite…right. He has been unable to convince anyone of his theory that there is an evil inter-dimensional being that takes children from their beds through the walls of their rooms.

The film plays with questions of Barney’s sanity and reality. Is he dead? Is he on Pluto? It is very “Twilight Zone” in that nature.

This segment has some really nice stop motion action evocative of the time. Most of this tale rests on the shoulders of Doug Sidney who does a real good job of conveying Collin’s as someone struggling to save his kid but having reached the edge of his sanity.

The double feature format works real well here. Although there is an intermission between the films, it might have been fun to include one or two faux trailers (a la Grindhouse, though Mihm may have avoided this consciously specifically because of such comparisons).

October 26, 2017 0

Let’s Visit Texas, Part 8 (Leatherface, 2017)

Like 2013’s Texas Chainsaw 3D, this film sets itself within the universe of the original film. This time around, we are learning the origins of Leatherface. We meet young Jed with the creepy Sawyer clan on his birthday. As a right of passage, the family wants the young boy (eight to ten years old?) to kill a man they believe has stolen some of their pigs. It turns out Jed does not have the guts for this, at least, not yet. I mean, we know he eventually will.

Not long after, his brothers (cousins) kill a young woman, who just happens to be the daughter of the local Sheriff. They cannot prove it was murder, but the Sheriff is able to have Jed institutionalized to protect him from his family. His mother tries to visit repeatedly, but is blocked at every turn. When Jed and a couple other patients kidnap a young nurse and go on the run, things get very bloody.

The film actually sets it up so that you have no idea who Jed is. He is older, and none of the escapees are named Jed because apparently they changed his name in an attempt to disassociate him from his family. Meanwhile, there is a romance brewing between the terrified nurse and one of the patients, while others just want to kill her and go on their murder spree to Mexico.

They are tracked by the Sheriff who put Jed away, and he is seeking vengeance for his daughter. This is a prequel, so you know things won’t end well for him.

When it comes down to it, this film reveals nothing we could not put together ourselves from simply watching the first film. I mean, he grew up in an isolated and depraved family. It is not a stretch to figure out how he became a chainsaw wielding murderer.

The film also suffers the same issues as the 2013 film. It makes Leatherface incredibly sympathetic. Yeah, you get why the Sheriff is obsessed with vengeance against the Sawyer clan, but he is so cruel and and willing to bend the law, he gets other people killed. Jed was forcefully institutionalized by a cruel doctor who indulged brutal treatments and allowed guards to be rough with the prisoners. He also bends the law. Leatherface is a brutal killer and should not have the audience rooting for his success, and yet this film casts him as a victim of people who seem even more terrible than he.

What we are left with is a film that works against the purpose of giving a terrifying background to a horror icon. We do not need insight into the psychotic killer, no more than we already had and this film adds nothing of value to the canon.

October 25, 2017 0

Attack of the 60 Foot… (The Giant Spider, 2013)

There was a time when giant bug/arachnid films were the rage. And the Giant Spider brings back several characters we have met going as far back as the Terror Beneath the Earth. The titular spider is no doubt some kid’s pet that crawled into the irradiated caves that populate the Mihmiverse and got to be bigger than a tank.

The monstrous Spider works it’s way through the countryside, devouring people. A group of scientists and military work fervently to stop the creature’s rampage. Returning to the Mihmiverse for the film are Dr. Edwards (Terror From Beneath the Earth & Attack of the Moon Zombies) and Dr. Gabriel (Attack of the Moon Zombies). These are fun recurring characters because Michael Cook (Dr. Edwards) and James Norgard (Dr. Gabriel) are very entertaining. They know when to ham it up and when to dial it down. The thing that really makes any of Mihm’s films work is that the characters are largely played straight. There is not a lot of “I am trying to act badly”. Folks bring sincerity to the roles, which is where the amusement comes in. These scientists are delivering pretty weak science, yet, with real conviction.

The effects for the Giant Spider are really strong. They are, of course, a combination of green-screen and a regular sized tarantula and a model creature. The close ups of it’s face are a model (puppet?) but it is a fun “monster” version of our nightmares. The green-screen work is not seamless, nor should it be. It mimics the look of a movie era probably the best of all of the Mihmiverse films to this point.

While most of the Mihmiverse films tend to feel very distinctly 50’s, the Giant Spider kind of straddles a line between the 50’s and 60’s. Especially with the logo (the only splash of color the film) and the theme song. The theme song is very much a sixties proto-punk sound.

Christopher’s films are never overly long, but the Giant Spider is one of the shortest. And this is really in service to the film. It moves at a good pace and is pretty tight in it’s storytelling. The Giant Spider has long reigned as one of my personal favorites in the works of the Mihmiverse.

October 25, 2017 0

The Original Haunted Palace Rebuilt (House on Haunted Hill, 1999)

1999’s remake of William Castle’s House on Haunted Hill began a series of remakes of mid to late 1950’s horror films. This one keeps the core idea. An eccentric rich man and his estranged wife throw a party, offering a million dollars to whomever lives through the night.

Stephen Price is an amusement park owner with a rather disturbed relationship with his devious wife Evelyn. She wants a party thrown in the restored Vannacutt Psychiatric Institute for the Criminally Insane. Years ago it was run by Dr. Vannacutt who performed ghoulish and cruel experiments. One night his patients revolted, violently killing the Dr and his staff. The Doctor’s last act was to set of a mechanism that locked down the entire facility and set it ablaze, killing all but five employees.

After dumping his wife’s party guest list for his own, Price does not notice the list changes yet again. When the guests arrive, both Stephen and Evelyn are shocked as they do not recognize them. Everyone is greeted by Pritchett, the nervous caretaker who tells everyone just how many people have died there. He wants his money and plans to leave. He refuses to stay in the asylum overnight. But he gets trapped with the confused guests: movie executive Sara, athlete Eddie, disgraced reporter Melissa and the Doctor Blackburn. Everyone has secrets and deceptions. When the planned horror get overtaken by the ghosts and demons of the fortress it becomes a battle for survival.

Geoffrey Rush does a great job as the Vincent Price inspired role of Price and his poisonous banter with with Famke Janssen’s Evelyn is every bit as biting as in the original film. This part is almost purely lifted from the original film, especially the dialog.

The changes from the original allow for surprises and while the heavy use of digital effects are somewhat dated, they do some creative things. The dark spirit that represents the house is made of human bodies intertwining to create a unique shape. Jeffrey Combs has no lines, but his diabolical doctor is effectively chilling.

The addition of the asylum backstory allows for a creepy vibe, as well as the updated addition of how the guests were selected. Chris Kattan is the primary comic relief, and I found his Pritchett to have a bit more vibrant of a personality than in the original.

The remake also manages to give the audience information a bit better than the original, relying on in story moments rather than talking heads. The film also opens with the asylum revolt, turning into an unsolved mysteries type of show (hosted by Peter Graves!) story about the devastation, which is very well done.

Overall, House On Haunted Hill is a pretty effective remake, both fun and exciting.

October 24, 2017 0