Superman and Zeus (Immortals, 2011)

Immortals begins with an ominous dream in which a man uses a mythic bow to free the Titans who were locked away by the gods. We are told how the gods defeated the titans, and in the midst of their battle the powerful Epirus Bow was lost. Now, eons later, the vicious King Hyperion seeks to find the bow and set free the Titans, allowing him to reign destruction across the earth.

A seaside village is under threat from Hyperion’s armies, hastened when a soldier betrays them. This results in Hyperion killing the mother of peasant Theseus. Unknown to anyone, including Theseus himself, he was trained as a warrior by Zeus himself (in the guise of an elderly man). Theseus is hopeless and enslaved, until Phaedra, the virgin oracle, seeks his help in escaping the grasp of Hyperion. Their mission becomes that of stopping Hyperion from freeing the Titans.

The gods of Olympus are not playing games here, and in a way the film kind of inverts the Clash of the Titans remake. Instead of the gods demanding the faith of men, here, Zeus implores the other gods to follow his lead and have faith in mankind. They have a rule against direct interference (Zeus’ loophole for helping Theseus was that he did not use his god state, but rather did his work in the form of a human). The other gods are more impatient, wanting to intervene directly.

The film does not hold very tightly to the myths of Theseus (the mythical founder of Athens). This is not to say those stories go unacknowledged. But they occur more as brief incidentals, or serve other purposes than the original tales.

Immortals is quite a visually stunning film. This is no surprise, coming from director Tarsem Singh, known for films like the Fall and the Cell. An aesthetic of beauty stands above practicality with wild armor and flowing robes filling the screen.

And while it uses a similar style to films like Zak Snyder’s 300, it feels very much like it is truly the vision of it’s director, rather than following in a popular style. The gods move in a unique way, with their golden armor creating motion trails, and while they are moving through fights quickly, their blows strike the targets in slow motion (simultaneously). And yet, the film ends up feeling more like eye-candy than a real story. Everything is so pretty to look at and yet, feels incredibly empty.

November 27, 2017 0

Boat Trip (Jason and the Argonauts, 1963)

King Aristo has been killed and his throne taken by Pelias. But it is revealed that there is a prophecy that one of Aristo’s sons (wearing one sandal) would bring the downfall of Pelias. But before Pelias strikes the child down, he is told that killing the infant will mean his own death.

Years later, a young man wearing a single sandal saves Pelias from drowning. The young man, named Jason explains (not realizing who he has saved) that he is undertaking a journey to find the legendary Golden Fleece to rally the citizens against Pelias. Seeing an opportunity, Pelias suggests this is a wise plan and encourages Jason, even offering him resources and a crew. Men come and compete to join Jason on his ship the Argos. Among the crew are Hercules and Acastus (son of Pelias and there to help hasten Jason’s death if necessary).

The film is full of trials and dangers. When the crew is dangerously low on any rations and out in the middle of the sea, Hera leads them to the Isle of Bronze. There, when Hercules disobeys a rule about only taking provisions, they face a giant murderous bronze warrior. In another sequence they seek the wisdom of a blind man who is cursed to be beset by Harpies who eat his food and leave him only scraps for every meal.

Jason has assistance from Hera, but Zeus has made a provision that she has only five opportunities to intervene for Jason when he asks it. Like the myths of old, Jason and other mortals are mere pieces of a game. The gods here are a bit more jovial than in the old stories, where their jealousies and lusts were powerful driving factors within their relationships to each other and man.

This film is full of grand visuals, from a giant Poseidon parting cliffs to allow the Argos to pass and a multitude of amazing monsters, such as the Hydra and the famous skeleton fight scene. Of course, the special effects are the work of the legendary wizard Ray Harryhausen.

My one criticism here is (and it is admittedly a big one) how the movie just kind of “ends”. The actual story is not resolved. Pelias is still king. I don’t know if there was an expectation that there was be a second film…but it makes it feel like an incomplete epic.

November 26, 2017 0

Manimal Part 3 (Beastmaster III: The Eye of Braxus, 1996)

So, this movie picks up with Dar continuing on his casually nomadic life. The evil Lord Agon is trying to gain the power of the demon Braxus. He is living off the life force of his community and needs the Eye of Braxus to complete the process and gain power and immortality.

Dar runs into a family seeking King Tal and conveniently for them, Tal is Dar’s brother. He brings the family to see his brother. Eventually, soldiers for Agon attack. They kidnap Tal in their attempt to get the Eye of Braxus.

Dar and Tal’s personal guard Seth (who was in the original film) set out to save Tal. Along the way, they team up with the beautiful blonde Shada and the sorceress Morgana.

Beastmaster III was actually part of the Universal Television Network of the mid 1990’s. But coming a year after Hercules and Xena, this film feels wholly sub-par.

Braxus, the big monster is pretty much Power Ranger levels in appearance. It looks…well, pretty terrible. It almost looks like it is an extra outfit from the comedy show Dinosaurs.

This is really too bad because the film’s cast includes Tony Todd and David Warner, both terrific character actors. Overall, this feels like a bad imitation of the Hercules and Xena model and nowhere near campy enough to work.

November 25, 2017 0

Manimal Part 2 (Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time, 1991)

Dar is off living as a nomad with only his animal companions. The evil Arklon is trying to take over their world. He is promised the ultimate weapon by the sorceress Lyranna. She brings him to a portal to another world. Just as they are planning to go through, a car, followed by two cop cars burst through. The first car is occupied a young woman named Jackie. She meets up with Dar, and is, obviously confused.

Eventually, they cross over to our world. This is actually where the film picks up. Dar’s fish out of water situation is pretty funny. He notes that the term rock and roll seems accurate, as it reminds him of an earthquake.

Outside of this, it is not all that memorable. There are some attempts to create epic connections between Dar and Arklon, but they end up coming off as rather silly. And again, the acting is all over the place. Sarah Douglas is pretty obviously enjoying hamming it up.

The film lacks much in the way of monsters. There is one, but it turns out to have a connection to Dar (everybody seems connected to Dar).

This is the only film directed by producer Sylvio Tabet, and it is kind of obvious why. A lot of the film is pretty pedestrian,

November 24, 2017 0

Manimal Part 1 (The Beastmaster, 1982)

The early eighties brought us a lot of sword and sorcery type films. Don Coscarelli followed up his crazy 1978 horror film Phantasm with this more straightforward (but still odd) fantasy film.

Evil wizard Maax is trying to avert a prophecy of his death at the hands of Zed’s, the king, son. Zed has declared he should be put to death upon learning he desires to sacrifice children to the god Ar. Using a servant witch, Dar is stolen from the womb and transferred to a cow. A local peasant happens upon the witch before she can sacrifice the newborn. Saving the child, he raises the boy as his own.

Dar is raised to be skilled with a sword and also discovers the ability to interact with animals via a psychic link. A group of barbarians ransacks his village, killing his family. Dar plans to seek revenge. On his way, he befriends several animals, including a couple of ferrets and a hawk. He finally saves a panther from the barbarians. After a struggle, he happens upon two slavegirls and is smitten by one named Kiri. He becomes determined to free her and end the cruelty of Maax and his cult of Ar.

The Beastmaster has achieved a minor cult status, in large part for being a huge staple of cable TV for much of the 80’s. A lot of the acting falls into…well…stiff (Tanya Roberts) or scenery chewing (Rip Torn). The effects are pretty good, with some unique looking monsters. There are some odd choices (the witches have the faces of monstrous hags, but the bodies of voluptuous models). On the other hand, there are some cool looking humanoid bat creatures.

This is a fun film, really, made memorable by the interaction of Dar and the various animal friends. While not great, it is pretty light-hearted entertainment.

November 23, 2017 0

Oh Oh It’s Magic PT 7 uh PT 2 (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2, 2011)

Ten years of film-making culminates with Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2. After managing to destroy a couple of the Horacruxes and escaping the clutches of Bellatrix Lestrange, the trio realizes they need to return to Hogwarts. But this is not so simple. Snape is now Headmaster, Dementors patrol the grounds and Death Eaters are on the watch for Harry Potter.

They find themselves seeking the help of Dumbledore’s brother Aberforth. They were never aware of a brother, and he seems embittered towards his brother. In the Trio’s absence, Neville Longbottom has rallied their fellow students to be ready for war against Voldemort. Harry realizes what the final Horacruxes are. He seeks one, while Hermione and Ron work on a plan to destroy the other. There is a large battle at the school, which Voldemort brings a halt to. He promises to let everyone go if they only turn over Harry Potter.

But Harry realizes he must face Voldemort on his own. This leads to a rather touching moment with our three heroes as it is clear, this may be the last time they ever see each other.

Part two, while a logical progression from the dark part one, is far more exciting and even fun. The drama is more hopeful. The funny thing is, taken as a whole, both films work quite well. Part one feels less oppressive when directly followed up by part two (as opposed to the theatrical releases which were several months apart).

Part two brings the series to a close with a sense of hope and optimism. There are many moments that are thoughtful next to the exciting battles. And yet, even split among two films, you feel like we don’t get enough of some of those favorite characters (such as Remus and Tonks). I enjoy the series and feel this film brings it all to a close quite nicely.

November 22, 2017 0

Oh Oh It’s Magic! PT7 um PT 1 (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1, 2010)

Finding the world becoming more and more dangerous, Harry and his friends leave behind the muggle world. We see them saying their goodbyes, or in the case of Hermione, tragically causing her non-magical parents to forget she even exists. Several members of the Order of the Phoenix arrive at the now empty Dursley residence for Harry. To protect him, several of the members take the polyjuice potion to assume the likeness of Harry, creating multiple Harrys.

There is an attack by Voldemort and his Death Eaters, but with one exception, all arrive safely at the Weasleys. There is a wedding for oldest Weasley Percy and Fleur. The head of the Ministry of Magic arrives to deliver Dumbledore’s last will and testament. He leaves a gift for Harry, one for Hermione and one for Ron. Harry receives the Golden Snitch he caught in the first film. Ron receives Dumbledore’s De-lluminator (last seen in the first film)and Hermione is given a storybook.

At the wedding, there is an announcement from the Ministry that it has fallen into the hands of Voldemort. Harry, Hermione, and Ron flee together. Rather than return to Hogwarts, the three dedicate themselves to tracking down and destroying the remaining Horacruxes. As the Half-Blood Prince explained, these are objects in which a wizard has put a portion of their soul. This involves murder, making it an especially heinous form of magic. Only by destroying these objects can Voldemort be truly vulnerable.

The Deathly Hallows kicked off a trend in movies adapted from book series. When it was announced that they were going to split the film into two parts, some felt it was merely a cash grab. And while I won’t disagree that there was surely an element of that from the studio, I also feel it would have seriously hampered the series to try and force the story into a single film.

There are some notable moments, for instance, there is a terrific animated sequence that tells the story of the “Deathly Hallows”. Radcliff and Watson are really quite good in this film. And yet, Part one struggles a bit as an independent film. It is rather slow at points, focusing on the bleak and hopeless tone. It is, at times, incredibly oppressive. And while it ends with a somewhat exciting escape, it still is kind of hard to enjoy the film on its own. But more on this in Part 2.

November 21, 2017 0

Oh Oh It’s Magic! PT 6 (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, 2009)

Now that the magical world knows Harry and Dumbledore were, in fact, correct and the Voldemort is back, the Death Eaters are becoming bolder than ever, going as far as to attack the non-magical world. Harry is hesitant about returning to Hogwarts, but Dumbledore convinces him and uses Harry to entice another professor back to Hogwarts.

Horace Slughorn is the new potions teacher, but this is not the true reason he is wanted back at Hogwarts. You see, Horace is a bit obsessed with celebrity. He is drawn to star pupils. One of those pupils was Tom Riddle, who came to Slughorn for information on very dark magic. But his memory is muddled, and Dumbledore hopes Harry can get the information from him.

In the meantime, Harry has found a potions book for his class that is marked as the property of the Half-Blood Prince. It features shortcuts to success and unique hand-written spells. Harry, Hermione, and Ron try and figure out why Draco Malfoy seems to be behaving very mysteriously. Harry suspects that Malfoy is behind several incidents with cursed items.

The film also builds on the seeds of a budding relationship between Ron and Hermione and introduces an “unexpected” love interest in Jenny Weasley. The films actually started seeding this awhile back, with Jenny clearly having a school girl crush on him, very visible anytime she was around. Thankfully, the film avoids the book’s annoying “Spider-Man Ending.” In the book, Harry gets all, “I cannot have love, for that puts people in danger”. The film tosses this aside.which is a wise move.

The visual look of the film is matching the darker tone of the book. David Yates uses a darker and at times duller pallet, but to the benefit of the film’s atmosphere. The film ends on a grim note, but effective in it’s set up for the final arc of Harry Potter.

The cast is, as always, quite strong. This film features the best chemistry between Radcliff and Gambon. As Horace Slughorn, Jim Broadbent is both likable and sad, in you realize his desire to be admired is overpowering to the point that it has brought great sadness to his life. And Tom Felton is a real standout, with this film elevating Draco Malfoy from entitled snob to a very conflicted kid. He really sells the notion that Draco is not as enamored with the life of a Death Eater as he portrays.

This is, in my opinion, one of the strongest of all the Harry Potter films.

November 20, 2017 0

Oh Oh It’s Magic! PT 5 (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, 2007)

The film opens with a rather heartbroken Harry Potter, haunted by the death of Cedric Diggory and the rise of Voldemort. The Ministry of Magic has worked very hard to portray Harry and Dumbledore as crackpots. Confronted by cousin Dudley and his friends, Harry becomes angry with Dudley and pulls his wand on him. This is a nicely acted scene, as the moment Dudley sees the wand, his expression goes from cocky to scared (while his friends all laugh, having no idea Harry is a wizard).

The skies go dark and Harry finds he and Dudley under an attack from Dementors. Harry fights off the Dementors, but this results in his being expelled from Hogwarts for being an underage wizard using spells off campus. Harry must face a brief hearing to address if he will be punished. Dumbledore prevents this from being permanent.

Harry is also frustrated by the fact that nobody has been in contact with him. He discovers that Dumbledore has brought together several people to form the Order of the Phoenix. It includes Lupin, the Weasleys, Sirius Black, Mad-Eye Moody and shockingly to Harry, Professor Snape.

Once back at Hogwarts, the kids are introduced to the new professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts. Delores Umbridge is really there as an eye for the Ministry of Magic, which does not trust Dumbledore. She does not teach the children spells. Instead, she focuses on books, arguing the children will never need to put such things into action.

Umbridge slowly takes over the school, enforcing ridiculous and endless rules. She forces out Dumbledore, inspiring Harry to bring together like-minded students to prepare to fight Voldemort.

this is the heart of the film, as Harry and his friends strive to prepare for the coming battle. But Harry also struggles with nightmarish visions, some of which turn out to be true. This causes him to believe Sirius is in great danger, causing Harry and a few members of his class to set out to save Sirius by breaking into the Ministry of Magic’s archives department. This leads to an all-out battle royale.

Order of the Phoenix is notable as being the only Harry Potter Film without a Steve Kloves screenplay. And in some ways, this film feels the least connected. It also suffers from issues like setups not being addressed. It never explains the Dementor attack.

Certainly, we can assume it was due to Voldemort or even the Ministry of Magic…but while the event is questioned, it is never answered.

Still, this is a generally good film within the franchise, even if we only get glimpses of characters like Sirius Black (blunting his overall impact). The introduction of Bellatrix LeStrange (played with gleeful delirium by Helena Bonham Carter) and Luna Lovegood (who, in some ways is a sweetly natured reflection of LeStrange) are welcome. Imelda Staunton makes Delores Umbridge gloriously hateable.

The film also introduces one of my favorite characters from the books, Tonks. She is kind of what I figure a young and modern witch or wizard would be like (for example, using magic change hair color and styles).

This film brings on David Yates as director and visionary for the rest of the series (under the watch of Rowling and Kloves). Primarily a television director, Yates acquits himself quite well in this big budget picture.

November 19, 2017 0

Oh Oh It’s Magic! PT 4 (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, 2005)

With the fourth film, we find an expanded universe. Harry and the Weasley family are off to watch the Quidditch World Cup. This is really the first view the films have given us of Quidditch beyond being a school sport. Much like an international football, people wear the colors and logos of their favorite teams.

While celebrating the game in their camp (the tents look small, but like Doctor Who’s TARDIS are much bigger inside), the fans are attacked by Death Eaters. Returning to Hogwarts, Harry is beset by nightmares of Voldemort trying to return. He also meets the new Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher, “Mad Eye” Moody. Moody lost one of his eyes, and instead of an eyepatch, he has a rather “twitchy” false eye. Moody was an Auror (kind of a soldier/police officer of the wizard world). Now he is a paranoid and rough guy.

This is set against the backdrop of the Tri-Wizard Tournament. This event brings together the three Wizarding Schools Durmstrang, Beauxbatons and Hogwarts. There is a champion chosen from each school who then compete in tasks of great risk.

Initially, three students are chosen from the magical Tri-Wizard Cup…but this time, a fourth name flies forward…Harry Potter. This causes great controversy, as Harry is too young to participate. It also causes friction between Harry and Ron.

The Goblet of Fire brings in a new Director, Mike Newell (Donnie Brasco, Four Weddings & a Funeral, and Enchanted April). The films were following the books, introducing elements like young romance. Newell is a strong director, though the film feels more like it is trying to fit into a franchise mold, rather than the previous films more director fueled identity. This is not a bad thing, tonal changes make sense between these films, and just as with the books, much of the audience was growing up with the stories.

Visually, the film is strong. They have found more of a balance between what is necessary for the story and experiencing the wonderful magical world, so to speak. This film leaves out the somewhat large subplot of the S.P.E.W. organization Hermione creates in her attempt to set House Elves free. This turns out to be a wise move that allows the film to feel more focused.

It is a bit disappointing that they leave some of the Sirius Black moments out of the film, as we never get the opportunity to see Harry and his Godfather’s bond. The child actors in the films are starting to grow into their roles, but this marks a turn for Harry in which he becomes, at times, irritatingly whiny.

The effects are quite good. There is a rather spectacular chase through the air involving Harry and a Dragon. The CGI is a continual improvement for the series.

The Goblet of Fire is largely fun, with some decent twists and turns. It is not quite as strong as the previous film. but does provide plenty of entertainment value.

November 18, 2017 0