It’s Not Just a Jungle Out There (Jumanji: The Next Level, 2019)

Alex, Martha, Fridge and Bethany have all moved forward in life, but college life has been disappointing for Alex and he has become distant from the others.

When everyone returns home for Christmas, Alex decides maybe what he really needs is to recapture the confidence he gained from the last time they went through Jumanji. When he never shows up for a planned breakfast, Fridge, Bethany and Martha find themselves forced to enter the game. But due to damage to the console, the group find themselves lost in a new part of the game and in the wrong avatars (well, except Martha). To make matters worse, the game has pulled in Spencer’s grandfather and his old business partner Milo.

The Next Level faced a challenge. How to convincingly argue the kids would re-enter the game and how not to lose the magic of the interplay of the last film. The previous film was one of those rare films that did not depend on Johnson basically being himself. The cast was convincing and fun playing the roles of teens trapped in a video game.

Kasdan ups the ante with this one. Gillan, Black, Hart and Johnson all get to play multiple inhabitants of their avatars (with Hart and Johnson doing fun takes on Glover and Devito for much of the film).

This was a real fun follow up that manages to carry over the character growth of the last film while still capturing what made the previous so much fun. The cast is great and the action is fun.

December 14, 2019 0

Slash the Patriarchy (Black Christmas, 2019)

Welcome to Christmas time at Hawthorne College. As people are getting ready to leave for break, sorority girls are disappearing. Riley is in her senior year and trying to still come to terms with being raped by a popular frat boy years earlier. She came forward and was not believed. Her best friend Kris is a crusading feminist, leading the cause to get the literature Professor fired. This has the girls a bit on the outs with the male class. It is made all the worse when at a party, the girls call out Riley’s rapist publicly.

The second remake of the Bob Clark classic avoids the biggest mistakes of the previous remake by really not being a remake at all. This is a new take with a different type of killer.

Other than a sorority and a college setting, there is little in common with Bob Clark’s original or the previous remake. And there are some real positives.

I really enjoyed the chemistry of the leads. I was able to buy their friendships. There are some great visuals taking full advantage of the college’s architecture and setting. And the adding of the gender politics angle is not as obtrusive as some one think (the irony being the folks most offended by the film are already echoing the villains). The film is pretty basic feminist theory, the kind that rankles guys like Stefan Molyneux. So, yeah, if you are set off by stuff like “the patriarchy” and references to “rape culture”? I suppose that you might struggle with this film.

The biggest flaw is that male characters never feel fleshed out enough to make sense beyond their stereotypical frat boys. The only exceptions are the boyfriend of sorority girl Marty, Nate and Landon… a polite love interest for Riley. They are, throughout the film portrayed and decent guys. Then there is Cary Elwes’ Professor Gelson. He is a character that could have been a great bit of misdirection. He is, after all, soft spoken and seemingly gentle. But the film also makes it clear from the start his bone to pick is related to the “Conflict of the Sexes”. And oddly, he just seems like such an empty character.

Overall, this is an okay slasher film. And if you are going to make more Black Christmas films? Maybe an anthology franchise of horror stories set at Christmas is the way to go. This is not a classic, (and face it, will be flattened by Jumanji the Next Level and Frozen 2) but it is a serviceable horror film.

December 14, 2019 0

Shine Harder (Doctor Sleep, 2019)

I have not read Doctor Sleep, the follow up to King’s the Shining. So, when it was announced as a film, I was not particularly excited. I did not know how they planned to approach it. As a sequel to the Kubrick film? As an adaption of the book?

It turns out? A little of both. But does it work?

The film opens in 1980, where we are introduced to Rose the Hat. She leads a cult that devours “the Steam” of psychic children, keeping the cult young and giving them power.

Danny has grown into a man trying to drown his his power and guilt in drugs and alcohol. Having locked the ghosts of the Overlook away over the years, through training from Dick Hallorann. After he winds up in a small town, he meets Billy Freeman. We also meet young Abra Stone, a powerful young girl of immense ability. As the years pass, Dan Torrance has found himself taking a role in a hospice as an orderly, but also the bringer of comfort to the dying. His “shine” allows him to help the dying overcome their fear. Abra is strong enough that she begins to communicate with the sober Dan.

This power also brings her to the attention of Rose and her cult. And so Dan finds himself working to protect Abra and stop the cult.

So, does it work? Yes. Very well. Flanagan manages to weave the source materials together so that this feels like a relative of the Kubrick movie. He infuses iconic visual moments in a way that is not merely copying another’s work.

The performances are really good, selling the more fantastic elements. It is a lot of fun getting to see the possibility of the powers of the “shining” that are hinted at previously. The main cult members are pretty intriguing, and really, the film ends with a hope that makes it a nice companion piece to the Shining.

Flanagan is proving himself a trusted horror director and Doctor Sleep is a great addition to what I hope is a long and fruitful career.

November 14, 2019 0

Shine On (The Shining, 1980)

The Torrence family is struggling. Jack is trying to stay sober and be a better husband and father, Wendy does not trust her husband and their son Danny seems to be having trouble coping with reality.

To this end, Jack, a hopeful author takes a job as the winter caretaker at the Overlook hotel. He and his family will live there, alone with no access to alcohol or people. Jack is informed that a previous caretaker, Grady, went nuts and butchered his family and killed himself. But several months with little to do but write his great American novel is too good to pass up. And so he takes the job and the family arrives on the day everyone else leaves.

It is here that we the audience learn that Danny is a special child, in a way his doctors could not understand. During their tour, they are introduced to Hallorann. He instantly senses a connection to Danny and the two are able to communicate telepathically. He warns Danny to stay out of certain places. Especially Room 237.

As the winter progresses, Wendy and Danny are trying their best to make the world they are in work out as normal as can be. But Jack seems to be struggling. As he seems to face insurmountable writers block, the stress begins to wear on him. And that is when the ghosts start to reach out.

From the opening shot of the film, as we fly through mountains looking down on the road leading to the overlook, Kubrick infuses his shots with a slight discomfort early on. There is a presence, even in the early times, a menace, in how the film looks, the angles, the perspective, the motion.

As Nicholson’s Jack Torrance devolves into a madness he is seduced by the ghosts of the Overlook, who seem intent on destroying Jack, Wendy and little Danny. Wendy on the other hand is trying to hold it together, but starts to realizing she may not be able to save her entire family from the darkness around them.

The Shining is a terrific film that has earned its status as one of the great horror films. However… it is not without flaws.

There are times when Danny Llloyd’s scared face gets almost comical. But more so, as an adaption of the King novel? It is a failure. King’s book is about a man trying to to be a good father, he is not a scary man…he is broken and trying to put it all back together. He loves Wendy and Danny and wants to do right by them. This is what makes it so tragic when he is consumed by the hotel. Wendy is a strong woman who is able to confront Jack. In the film? She is meek and so scared of conflict.

But more so? Nicholson’s Jack Torrance is a little over the edge on day one. When we meet him, he seems like the switch has already flipped…before the Overlook ever has him. It works in the film. But it is not the Shining I read and loved. It is something else entirely. And so, If I view it as an adaption of that story? I think I kind of hate it. But if I just view it as a Kubrick film? Well, it is amazing.

November 13, 2019 0

Friendship is Magic (Jojo Dancer, 2019)

Jojo is a young boy living in Hitler’s Germany. He aspires to be a great Nazi, to the point that the ten year old’s imaginary best friend is Adolf Hitler. After getting wounded at a Nazi gathering for Hitler Youth, these hopes are dashed. Instead, Jojo has to stay behind and support the Nazis through canvasing with propaganda.

But his life takes an even bigger turn when he discovers his mother is helping hide a young jewish woman named Elsa in their house.

Jojo Rabbit is a fascinating film. It delivers lots of laughs, of course, in part due to the fact that it falls into a long history of presenting the Nazis as buffoons. Sam Rockwell is the disillusioned military man who has lost his faith in the cause of the Nazi regime. Rebel Wilson is the more devoted but goofy (at one point telling the kids at camp she has had eight babies for Germany).

Scarlett Johansson turns in a solid performance as the rebellious mother of Jojo, who hides her activities from Jojo to protect both him and herself. She loves her son deeply, and hopes to turn him from his being a Nazi back to her son…a little boy.

Taika Waititi plays Hitler. And he pulls off a stunning transformation. Early in the film, he is funny and almost sweet. When Jojo is humiliated by some older boys at Nazi Camp-giving him the Rabbit Nickname- Adolf tells him what a brave and noble animal a rabbit is. But as a friendship with Elsa grows, Hitler starts to become more menacing. He is really the dark ideology Jojo clings to, and as Jojo finds himself questioning it, the poison festers and fights to maintain dominance.

Roman Griffin Davis gives a great performance as young Jojo. He has a sweetness that seems to conflict with his belief in the Nazi ideology, and ultimately, that nature starts to assert dominance. He also has a wonderful chemistry with Thomasin McKenzie. At first, she is abrasive with him as a survival tactic, but more and more their walls break down for each other.

Truthfully, the trailers did not prepare me at all for the film. Because, yes, it is funny. And it challenges the viewer with uncomfortable moments. But it also is heartfelt and hopeful. And Heartbreaking. There are gut punch moments I was not anticipating. The film is unafraid to acknowledge the horror and evil of the Nazis, even while laughing at them. And, maybe that is how it should be?

While Todd Phillips complains that comedy is too hard in today’s environment… Taika Waititi on the other hand makes a film that has laughs and heart. It has moments of raw and painful emotion that gets at the center of our conflicts and growing past our ills. Jojo Rabbit looks at us at our darkest and dares to call for hope. It calls on us to dance.

November 12, 2019 0

Whatever Time’s the Charm?? (Terminator Dark Fate, 2019)

Terminator Genisys was intended to kick off an all new trilogy following the exploits of Sarah Conner, Kyle Reese and Pops trying to stop the new version of Skynet. Of course, Terminator Salvation was supposed to kick off a new trilogy following the war against the machines leading to Kyle Reese going back to save Sarah Conner. Which was a sort of continuation of Rise of the Machines.

Sort of. Each sequel starting with T2 tried a twist, though the twist became the trope. Arnold was moved from the “bad Terminator” to the “friendly Terminator”. This has never bothered my all that much, the way it was handled in each film usually worked okay.

And honestly, Pops was the thing I enjoyed most about Genisys. The failure of Genisys to revitalize the franchise left the series kind of lost. People got excited when there was talk of Cameron returning. And then they took the now popular strategy of making a sequel that ignores all but one or two of the earliest films. This time, they are picking up after T2: Judgement Day.

Sarah Conner tells us how she saved the world from Skynet, then the film reveals a shocking twist. We then are introduced to Grace who appears in Mexico, followed by the new Terminator, a Rev-9. He is in pursuit of Dani and Grace is there to protect her. They meet up with Sarah Conner and try to escape, ultimately reaching out to Carl, a Terminator who is displaced after the erasure of Skynet.

Carl is kind of an interesting character and honestly have no problem with it, as the second film established them capable of learning and adapting. I also, for the most part, like tough and bitter Sarah Conner, much like Jamie Lee Curtis’ updated Laurie Strode in 2018’s Halloween. I also liked McKenzie Davis as Grace and Natalia Reyes as Dani.

The Rev-9 feels a lot like a slightly advanced T-X from Rise of the Machines. A liquid metal coating over an exo-skeleton, except the two can work independently of each other.

The visual effects are solid and the action scenes are great. And yet, this is a Terminator film that kind of fundamentally betrays itself in a way the franchise really has not before. The big twist at the beginning has a major impact on the power of T2’s narrative. In a not good way. It undermines this film and raises some big questions that the film never clearly establishes. As an action film, this is a fun watch. As a Terminator film? It is not the fix that people were hoping for.

November 1, 2019 0

Children of the Corny Part 2

So, the following year brought us the 6th film, which brought back the original Isaac (played by John Franklin, the original actor!) and was creatively titled Children of the Corn 666: Isaac’s Return. A young woman who was adopted out believes her real mother lives in a small town where Isaac has been comatose for over a decade. One thing that stands out about the Children of the Corn films is almost no continuity. Beyond the first film, they all act like that is the only story that happened at all.

So, Isaac is part of the cult and nothing happened, except, yet again, adults seem in on helping He Who Walks Behind the Rows now. I mean, again.

There is the attempt at early mis direction of the handsome young man that our lead girl meets is a nice guy, but he is later revealed to be HWWBtR. So, this ends badly for Isaac. HWWBtR seduces our lead girl and the film ends on the cliffhanger reveal that she is pregnant with his child.

The next film dumps the numbering system, calling itself Children of the Corn: Revelation. It also completely ignores the events of the prior film. Here, a young woman goes to check on her Grandmother, who used to be part of the child cult. We mainly see two kids, who appear to be ghost kids. They go around this apartment building that is condemned killing everyone living there. The weird part is that the building appears to be in the middle of a corn field.

I actually started having a theory about these films starting with this one…I will share it around the time I get to Runaway, the ninth film in the franchise (well, tenth if you include the remake).

So in Children of the Corn: Genesis (Get it?) we begin with a soldier returning home from the Vietnam war. He finds kids have killed his family. We jump to the present and a couple’s car breaks down and when they try and find help, they end up in the home of Preacher. He is revealed to be the vet from earlier. He keeps a kid locked up in a shed and the kid appears to have major psychic powers. Again, we have an adult leading things and little connection to HWWBtR.

The couple almost escape, but then the husband is killed and the wife is brought back to be a part of the cult. Again, the ties to the previous films are non-existent.

2018’s Children of the Corn Runaway is (again) about someone who escaped from the cult and then returns to town decades later with her teen son. There are all sorts of struggles as she tries to come to terms with her past only to have it all threaten to destroy her family.

So, about my theory. Revelation, Genesis and Runaway were not originally meant to be part of the Children of the Corn franchise. The studio bought independent scripts and had them reworked into being Children of the Corn sequels. None of them bear any resemblance to the original short story or the prior films in any way. They add elements contradictory to the core concept. In Runaway? If you remove the opening couple of minutes and the closing minutes, you would have no idea that you were watching a Children of the Corn film.

It is an attempt at a supernatural slasher…and it tries to make you question if the killer is really the one child we see throughout the film or if it might be the lead character. But it never really gels in a way that makes it a good film.

Before they picked the franchise up with new sequels (there was a ten year break between Revelation and Genesis, and almost six between Genesis and Runaway) they tried a remake that aired on the SyFy channel in 2009.

In this remake, our couple Burt and Vicky are much less in love and their marriage is on the rocks. Part of the strain appears to be Burt’s PTSD. When they run over a boy while driving through rural America, they go to the nearest town for help. Once there, they find a seeming ghost town.

The film goes for being a lot more gritty, yet seems like they choose to avoid some stuff. Like we never see the kids slaughter the grownups of their town. On the other hand, the filmmakers felt it was important that ew know the kids have a plan to keep the cult going by two of the eighteen year olds have sex in a ceremony why the others watch. Hoo boy.

This one also ends on a very bleak and hopeless note. Burt and Vicky save nobody…and HWWBtR gets to proceed unimpeded. This remake seemed more like an attempt to be part of SyFy’s attempts at serious fare, but it is not really that exciting or interesting. It brings nothing of note. I suppose it is a little better than the other films, including the original movie…but that is just not saying much. This is a franchise that lacks one solid flick and yet, somehow? The franchise just keeps moving on.

October 31, 2019 0

The Children of the Corny Part 1

So, originally, I was going to review each of the Children of the Corn Films. But frankly, I did not feel like writing detailed reviews of all ten films…because…well…

The Franchise is pretty awful. Please note, I will not be avoiding spoilers and am just going to express thoughts about each film very briefly.

Taking place pretty much in 1984, the first film opens with an absurd narration from a kid explaining how one day, the child prophet Isaac led his child followers to slaughter the adults in town per the command of “He Who walks Behind the Rows”.

As I noted, the opening slaughter contains a child narration that really undermines the film. It could have been a horrifying moment if they had simply stepped back and let it all play out silently. A few years later, because somehow nobody noticed a town went and killed all the adults, Burt and Vicky are traveling across the country. They find themselves in Gatlin where they run afoul of Isaac and his cult. They plan to sacrifice the couple to He Who Walks Behind the Rows, but they manage to escape and not be killed by the a red storm cloud.

And then, about eight years later, just in time for cheap CGI, the first sequel arrived. John and his son Danny are driving cross country and get stuck in Gatlin, apparently right after the first film. The remaining kids are being taken to the next town over and reporters and police are everywhere, since everyone now knows the kids all killed their parents, they let them wander around town.

John is a reporter and decides to stay in town for the story. And I am pretty sure for the owner of the bed and breakfast they are staying at. He and Danny do not get along. And so, Danny resents this whole “stay in town” thing…until he meets Lacey.

Danny also starts hanging out with the creepy Micah, who, unknown to everyone else has become possessed by He Who Walks Behind the Rows. In a super early 90’s CGI sequence. This begins a trend of terrible CGI in the franchise.

One of the weirder aspects of the film is that while it is clearly supernatural, the film provides a naturalistic explanation. Why? We all know that HWWBtR is real and some sort of monster. What is the point in suggesting it is all due to some hallucinogenic fungus? I mean, there is a setup that the infected corn is going to be shipped all over the country and that adults were in on it…for reasons?

Anyways, In the end, Micah gets shredded and the heroes get away. Another weird thing with the film? It takes place a day or two after the first film. Which was 1984. Yet there is no attempt to tie them together, both films behave as if the story takes place in that present. And while the first film played the mayhem more seriously, this film goes for comedic deaths. One woman is crushed under her house with a Wizard of Oz moments before her death.

Three years later, we get Urban Harvest. Shortly after the events of the second film, Eli and his older brother Joshua are adopted by a couple and move to the big city. There, Eli starts to convert kids to his cult and plant s a corn field in backlot of their apartment building…because that would not look weird.

Joshua is a bit less into the whole HWWBtR deal. People die crazy supernatural deaths anytime they start to interfere with Eli and HWWBTR. Eli’s corn is super tasty and so his step dad plans to try and get it sold all over the country.

Eventually, all the kids gather in the corn field to pledge themselves to HWWBtR, apparently after several killed their parents.

This is the first film to show us HWWBtR and it is…uh…it is…how do I put it?

Absolutely awful.

Probably the only notable thing in this film is an early appearance by Charlize Theron.

Apparently, it was successful enough that we got Children of the Corn IV: The Gathering a year later. A film starring a Pre-Respectable Horror Naomi Watts.

In the film, she returns to her small town home to help with her agoraphobic mother (Karen Black). She works for the local doctor and the town finds themselves under siege by Creepy Kids. This film tries to reign back the comedy, aiming more for creepy kid killings. But it is also just not much of a stand out.

That is the hard part. While they try and go in a more serious direction, it ends up being kind of boring.

I don’t know if Mirimax was pulling the same idea as their Hellraiser approach and just making sequels to hold on to the IP, but two years passed and we got Children of the Corn V: Fields of Terror.

This one has an early role for Eva Mendez, as well as a pre-transition Alexis Arquette. Again, creepy kids abound, but this time, an inexplicable trend is introduced. An adult who seems to be leading the cult. It does not make any real sense with the mythology, but each film kind of does whatever it wants.

And frankly, part of the problem is that there really is just not much to do with the idea of a cult of killer kids in rural America. I don’t mean, you could not tell a totally scary story based around creepy kids. But as a franchise, it really has its limitations. How big can the cult be? How does HWWBtR find new kids? By the fifth film, we are already seeing a tired cycle and honestly, we have yet to have a good film in the whole lot. Maybe that is yet to come?

October 31, 2019 0

Deadlines (Countdown, 2019)

People download a new app that predicts the time of your death. The thing is, people who get information regarding an upcoming date, end up dead. Nurse Quinn Harris downloads the app and finds out she has about two days to live. She and others with short time frames team up to try and beat the app.

Countdown is sort of like the Final Destination films, though without the elaborate death sequences. And, really, this is a reasonable idea for a horror film. I kind of like the idea that people start seeing a grim reaper like figure as they get closer, which has shades of stuff like the Rings films.

Another thing I liked was how the story played on our habits of just agreeing to terms of service. At the same time, there is a bit that just seems like overkill. For seem reason, they included a mythology where you can break the terms of service. But the thing is? Breaking the terms of service does not actually change anything. Your countdown still continues. It feels like breaking the terms of service should cause instant death or something. Instead, when people change plans for the date of their death, apparently that breaks the service. Why? Even though the movie gives an explanation, it seems pointless. If avoiding your death means you still die right on time…what does it matter?

Ultimately, Countdown is passable Halloween movie entertainment…but is, in the long term, a forgettable film.

October 29, 2019 0

Sanity and the Sea (The Lighthouse, 2019)

As the lights went up, I overheard a guy say to his friend “I really enjoyed it, but I could not tell you what it was f*****g about.”

I honestly feel like this film should not work. It is in black and white. It is in a very uncommon aspect ration. The audio is mono. It is just two guys being belligerent on screen for almost two hours. And yet? I was hooked in from the first few moments.

I cannot image this film being as visually striking if it had been in color. The black and white picture creates a feel of something from another time. A story of old maritime myth and superstition. The light and shadow perform an engaging dance as the storms (both nature and between the men) rage in front of us.

I don’t know if I can tell you what it was f******g about”…but it was quite an experience.

October 26, 2019 0