Sea Monster Quest (Percy Jackson: The Sea of Monsters, 2013)

Sea of Monsters leaves behind a lot of the characters from the original. And several of the actors. Lerman, Daddario and Jackson are back. Replacing Pierce Brosnan in the role of centaur Chiron is Anthony Stewart Head (Giles from Buffy the Vampire Slayer). This is actually a decent fit, as Head is capable of both intensity and scholarly attitude.

Opening with the story of how four children were running to Camp Halfblood long ago, all but one making it. Thalia, daughter of Zeus sacrifices herself. Zeus causes her to grow into a tree that creates a barrier that protects the camp.

Decades later, Percy is a minor celebrity for saving Olympus, but he is facing competition from Ares’ daughter Clarisse. She has been racking up quest, while Percy has…well, he saved Olympus. Everyone is surprised by the arrival of Tyson, who claims to be a child of Poseidon. He is not, however, half human, rather he is half dryad, which results in him being a cyclops.

The camp is startled when a large mechanical bull breaks through the barrier and starts to tear up the camp. Percy and friends discover that the Thalia Tree has been poisoned. They decide it calls for a quest to find the Golden Fleece, which could heal the tree. Clarisse strikes out on her own, while Percy, Annabeth, Grover, and Tyson go on the run.

What they also find is that they are in competition with Luke yet again. This time, he seeks to resurrect his grandfather Kronos and bring about the destruction of the world. So, the stakes are not high or anything. The kids encounter sea monsters, cyclops and oracles as they seek to stop the end of the world.

There are some things that this film does better than the last. We only meet a couple of gods, but Stanley Tucci has droll fun with Mr. D (“D” for Dionysus). He is cursed by Zeus to be unable to consume wine (cause, he is, among other things, the god of wine making, so…ironic!). When he pours wine, it becomes water. He tells Chiron, “You know, the Christians have a guy who can do that in reverse. Now that’s a god!” This film suggests there are more than just the Greek Pantheon of Gods, but it is unclear how it all works out, and the film is unconcerned by it.

Nathan Fillion appears as Hermes in a rather fun performance that plays to his charms. The story’s updates to classical characters are far more effective this time around. The Gray sisters (prophetic witches who share a single eye), are reckless cab drivers. Polyphemus the cyclops…well, he is a cyclops. But he lives under an amusement park. And Hermes runs a UPS/Fed Ex style delivery service.

The film tries to build tension with Annabeth unable to trust Tyson because he is a cyclops. But Tyson is such a sweet kid, it is a hard sell. The film also tries to give a feel like everyone rallies behind Percy. And they do, but it is entirely unconvincing as to why Clarisse so quickly abandons her chip.

The cgi in the film ranges from middling to video game cut scene level.

Sea of Monsters is not a terrible follow up, and it does do some things better than the first. But what we have is something mildly enjoyable if you are bored one evening and usnure of what to do with your night.

November 13, 2017 0

Monkey Business (Monkey Shines, 1988)

Based on a novel by Michael Stewart, Monkey Shines is the tale of a quadriplegic man who given an enhanced monkey as his helper. Allen is an athlete who is left wheelchair-bound after a terrible accident. Initially, he is stuck with a rather unsympathetic nurse (who lets her parakeet fly around the house) named Maryanne. He struggles, and his girlfriend walks out on him (only to start dating the doctor who saved his life). His friend Jeffrey (a scientist experimenting with capuchin monkeys) and a trainer, Melanie, introduce him to Ella. A capuchin meant to perform tasks for Allan, she initially shows a great amount of intuitiveness, selecting music Allan would like to listen to. As time goes on, Allan and Melanie also start to build a romantic relationship, while he and Ella seem to be developing a deeper bond.

But as the story progresses, the bond seems to become more and more primal, thus more dangerous. Allen has visions of running around, at about the height of a monkey. As he gets agitated, so does Ella. And he starts talking about he and Ella as “We”.

While the film starts out shaky, with the initial accident looking almost comical, Romero quickly finds footing in Allen’s struggle with his new situation. The slow changes from where we see his temper growing shorter and shorter, combined with his growing paranoia over his connection to Ella is very effective. This is especially seen in his relationship with Maryanne, which rapidly deteriorates with the addition of Ella to the house.

Monkey Shines is a compelling thriller that should really be remembered more as one of Romero’s film canon.

October 10, 2017 0

Marvel Begins (Captain America: The First Avenger, 2011)

Captain America was a hotly debated character for the Marvel Films. Could a character so tied to American Nationalism be a hero the world loved? Joe Johnston (who directed Disney’s fun comic book movie the Rocketeer 20 years earlier) was brought in and found a way to make that answer be yes. Among the choices made were to set the film in World War 2, rather than begin in Present day. Chris Evans was hired on to play Steve Rogers. This was not his first foray into a Marvel Property, He was Johnny Storm (the Human Torch) in the 2005 and 2007 Fantastic Four Films. He was also one of the Evil Exes in Edgar Wright’s adaption of Bryan Lee O’Malley’s Scott Pilgrim graphic novels.

The film quickly establishes Steve Rogers as heroic, in spite of his physical weakness. He will take a beating. Standing up for him is his buddy ‘Bucky’ Barnes. This is one of the film’s biggest deviations. In the comics, Bucky was a teen sidekick to Captain America. The filmmakers (rightly) realized that may not play so well. And there is a twist to having Bucky go from Steve’s savior to needing saving by Steve. Steve’s multiple rejections by the military catch the attention of a part of our military that is looking for someone to be a part of an experiment. While many try, scrawny Steve Rogers keeps managing to stand out, not by his physical prowess, but by ingenuity. This catches the eye of British officer Peggy Carter.

One of the things the movie does so well is that they avoid tropes. Peggy and Steve are smitten before his transformation. She is impressed by who he is, not what he is. It would have been easy to make her yet another obstacle for her to notice only after he is physically altered. And yet, due to a terror incident that destroys the remaining Super Soldier serum, Steve is still unable to see combat. Instead, he is reduced to a promoter of War Bonds and propaganda.

Evans really sells Roger’s frustration and even feelings of humiliation. But while on a USO tour, he ends up making a big save, convincing the military they need him. This leads to crossing paths with the Red Skull, who is determined to rule the world through Hydra. Hydra begins as an arm of the Nazis, but has it’s own goals.

The film ultimately hangs on Evans to sell the character of Captain America, and boy does he sell it. He comes off as kind, dedicated to justice and most of all, simply heroic. He is supported but a great cast of actors. Tommy Lee Jones is perfectly cast as Colonel Phillips. Hugo Weaving got one of the better villain roles, since he gets to simply be Nazi Evil Incarnate. The movie makes the choice to introduce the Howling Commandos (Sans Nick Fury) as the team that works with Cap. They are an entertaining bunch.

But the standout is Haley Atwell. She is more than Cap’s love interest. She is a tough and clever military officer. But at the same time? She and Evans have a real solid chemistry, and when the film reaches it’s inevitable conclusion, their exchange (certain Steve is heading to his death) is heartbreaking.

Johnston gives us a terrific film that stands on it’s own, even if part of it’s purpose is to set up the first Avengers film.

September 27, 2016 0

Alien Bomb Coming Through! (Transformers: Age of Extinction, 2015)

The title of the review comes from an actual line in the film. Of course, nothing seems to challenge Michael Bay’s toy based Franchise…as of this writing there are three more films (one being a Bumblebee spinoff film) in the pipeline. There is no stopping it…not even this film. It picks up ten years after the destruction in Chicago. They have repaired and now the government is trying to wipe the Autobots and Decepticons out entirely. To that end they have a space robot helping them who has an agenda of his own.

Nobody knows where Optimus Prime is…and it turns out he suffered massive damage and is now asleep in an abandoned movie theater. He is found by failing inventor Cade. Cade and his hot daughter are on the verge of losing their house. His friend Lucas, hot daughter Tessa and her street racer boyfriend escape their house after government agents show up to claim Optimus Prime (who Cade revived). Much of the film seems to be going in the direct of Cade finally being less distrustful of his daughter and accepting her boyfriend Shane. Shane shows himself to be highly competent throughout much of the film. So it makes sense that maybe they become friends.

They discover that businessman/genius has been building his own robots, his pride and joy being Galvatron. You can probably see where this goes way wrong. Eventually he teams with Cade to save the planet from a bomb left by the Robot Bounty Hunter who reveals that the folks who created the Autobots and Decepticons want to take them back and get rid of them. Basically, it is the plot from Prometheus.

Remember my thoughts on Cade and his relationship to his daughter and her boyfriend? Boy was I wrong. For some reason they opted to make Shane totally incompetent and a complete fool that Cade has to suffer through. And when Cade saves the days? His daughter grabs her boyfriend and gives him all the credit for saving them. It is a sudden and unnecessary character change to make Cade look good, but it just does not work in any way. It is not even funny.

This is a better film than Revenge of the Fallen, but then, that is not saying much. But it does have Optimus Prime Riding a Robotic T-Rex.

August 5, 2016 0

An Easy Mess (Easy A, 2010)

I had high hopes of this being a clever teen comedy in the 10 Things I Hate About You Vein. It starred Emma Stone, who seems to be able to brighten up the lamest of films. It was a fresh take on a dusty classic.

And there are things I found in the film to be praiseworthy. It’s likable cast, for instance. Everyone does well, even though some character roles are terribly thankless(more on that later). There are some solid laughs, and the interaction between Olive (Stone) and her carefree liberal parents (Stanley Tucci and Patricia Clarkson) have their moments. I liked the framing structure (Olive is broadcasting her story to the web). I liked how they dealt with the potential fallout of the situation in Olive’s life. Olive is a very likable character. Smart, sarcastic, yet compassionate and supportive of her friends (it is this aspect of the character that creates the situation of the movie).

What is that situation? Basically, Olive makes up a white lie to satisfy her friend Rhi (Aly Milchaka). She find’s Rhi’s family uncomfortable and does not want to go camping with them, and says she has a date with a college boy. Rhi presses for details, convinced Olive has lost her virginity. So, rather than come clean, she tells Rhi what she wants to hear in the girls bathroom. Which is overheard by Exaggerated Southern Christian Stereot-uh- Marianne (Amanda Bynes). This spreads across the school like wildfire. A friend (Dan Byrd) is facing bullying at school. He’s gay and people suspect it…weary of the abuse he begs Olive to pretend they had sex together. So at a party, they stage an elaborate sequence to convince everyone that the pair hooked up.

From there it snowballs, other guys start trying to get her okay to say they have done various sexual acts with her. It snowballs until she is taking credit for things to protect a teacher and losing her friends.

And it is this area where the film just gets messy… for instance, Olive and Rhi have a falling out- resulting in Rhi disappearing for much of the film. And Marianne…dear God, Marianne. First, I have a hard time buying that someone that conservative and pious would wear outfits that are all that tight. I would expect the character to be more modest. Plus, she has this thick southern accent that nobody else seems to share. It’s as if they think becoming a Christian results in developing a Texas Accent. The character is cut from the cloth of a long line of Conservative Evangelical villains, and is so deathly cliched it is insulting-no matter what you believe.

On the positive side, there is no absurd comeuppance sequence revealing Marianne to be some secret slut in an attempt by the movie to shame her. So, I guess we should consider ourselves lucky.

The end is a terrific mess. I get why they ended it the way they did. Earlier in the film, Olive laments that her life is not more like an 80’s teen romance, set to a montage of John Cusack, Patrick Dempsy and John Hughes flicks. And the film’s final moments touch on that, including the montage of characters having a moment of realization. But much is unresolved in this ending. And not in a what happens next makes you want more, way. But rather that you are watching the filmmakers cheat. What exactly is Marianne’s revelation? We don’t know. But she seems sad. Same with Rhi…and is their friendship salvaged? Who knows…apparently Olive patching things up with her best friend did not strike the film makers as important. It feels as if they had no idea how to resolve all their dangling threads…so they just show us the characters looking pensive and assume that allows them to end the movie. But it just feels like a massive cheat. So, the film is just a mess of good and bad… it’s a slapdash of humorous scenes and thoughtful moments adrift in a storm of bad storytelling.

September 18, 2015 0