Cat Scratch Fever (Sleepwalkers, 1992)

Mary and Charles are the mysterious mother and son that have arrived in a local small town.Charles is handsome and charming, while his mother is ethereal and elegant. Quickly, Charles seems interested in local Tanya.

While she thinks his interest in her is romantic, it turns out that his real purpose is far more sinister. Charles and his mother are actually supernatural creatures…shapeshifters known as Sleepwalkers who go back centuries. They survive by feasting on the life force of young virginal women.

Sleepwalkers is an original idea from Stephen King’s mind. It is an interesting general concept. But the mystery quickly is sideline by comedy and gore. Featuring some decent digital morphing, the shapeshifting in the film is an okay effect. The film is never scary, but there are also some good practical effects.

This is more comedy than horror, with the Sleepwalkers having the weakness of being killable by cat scratches. There is a scene where a guy is killed by a corncob. There is a scene with cameos from Tobe Hooper, Clive Barker, John Landis, Joe Dante and Stephen King that is largely a comedy bit (but lacking…ahem, Wes Craven). The Sleepwalkers are given to hackey one liners, especially Charles.

I enjoy the film as a goofy horror film. And it has a really good cast. But my favorite thing is honestly the music. The soundtrack is punctuated by a really haunted theme that features a sad and ominous hum. It also features a terrific use of an older song called Sleepwalk.

Sleepwalkers is not a classic horror film…it is, however, a lot of schlocky fun to gather wisth some friends around the Halloween season for some laughs and fun jumps.

October 28, 2020 0

Boldly Going Pt 10 (Star Trek: Nemesis, 2002)

So, after the disappointing returns the studio brought in the director of Executive Decision, Stuart Baird, and John Logan, the screen writer of the Time Machine.

The Romulans are in turmoil and during a high level meeting of their government, there is an assassination of the council. Shinzon is installed as their leader.

Picard and the Enterprise are lured to a remote planet by a unique signal that is emitted by androids like Data. They discover the pieces of an Android named B-4. Once assembled they try and determine how he got to the planet and his purpose. It turns out that he has a connection to Shinzon.

When he meets with Picard, it is revealed that he is actually a clone of Picard from an abandoned secret Romulan project. Shinzon is deteriorating and needs the genetics of Picard to stop it.

To be honest? This is the film that nearly killed the franchise. It is a dreary and dark mess. The characters do not feel like themselves and the attempts at epic game changers just do not feel like they were at all committed. Data’s self sacrifice would probably feel more heavy hearted if there was not already an onscreen replacement. When Troi is literally mind raped, she requests to step down and Picard refuses to allow it, asking her to endure more.

Even scenes that feel like they should be exciting adventures are just lifeless.

Nemesis is a disappointing slog. True story, I tried to watch this film five different times in the years since it came out and fell asleep until the fifth time. I recently watched it again. I did manage to stay awake, but boy was it not a good time.

June 15, 2020 0

Birth of the Demon Part 4 (Hellboy: the Golden Army, 2008)

Del Toro’s follow up introduces the most vicious tooth fairies you have ever seen.

An Elven Prince has decided that it is time for the magical world to rise up against humanity, breaking an ancient pact. He seeks the Golden Army, an ancient legion of un-living and unstoppable soldiers.

An elven princess (and twin sister to the prince) interferes and enlists the help of Hellboy and the Bureau of Paranormal Research.

This results in the team at the Bureau having to dive deep into a world of magic and wonder. Hellboy finds himself torn between the protection of the human world and the callous disregard of the lives of magical creatures. For Hellboy, this is personified in his relationship with Liz. He struggles with his insecurities, though, thankfully in this film, they left out Agent Myers, so it is not dragged down by that character. Instead, Hellboy struggles to see himself as more a man than monster. One of the things I liked in both films is this notion that Hellboy is not a slave to his heritage. His father believed in his ability to be a good man above a destructive monster, and in this film, Liz takes that role from Broome.

For Abe, it is deeply personal as he falls in love with the Elven Princess. There also is a lot of Bureaucratic interference, not just from Jeffrey Tambor’s Tom Manning, but from the (no longer human) Johann Krauss. Voiced by Seth McFarlane, Krauss is actually a very entertaining foil for Hellboy for much of the film.

This time around Del Toro fully embraces the whimsy and myth. The character designs or wonderful and grotesque, often at the same time (though the Elves are simply beautiful and angelic).

Perlman, Blair and Jones have a really solid chemistry and it delivers a believable close connection between these three characters who feel like they are always on the outside of the world they are sworn to protect. It is especially nice to see Jones getting to provide his own voice, getting to give a fully realized performance. He keeps the gentle tone, keeping this from feeling like a huge departure from the first film.

Hellboy: the Golden Army is much stronger than the first film in pretty much every way. The Golden Army holds up under repeated viewings and is a great film that has a lot of fun with its concept.

May 16, 2019 0

Birth of the Demon Part 3 (Hellboy Animated: Blood and Iron, 2007)

This time, along with Perlman, Blair and Jones, John Hurt reprises his role as Professor Trevor ‘Broom’ Bruttenholm. Borrowing from the legend of Elizabeth Bathory, Blood and Iron is a tale that spans two times. The early life of Broom dealing with a vampire queen and the present with the BPRD investigating a haunted castle in the same town.

As usual, there is a demonic goddess who is driving things, and she tries to tempt Hellboy to turn his back on humanity, while the vampire queen seeks revenge on Broom for a confrontation that had occurred decades earlier.

Unlike Sword of Storms, the team gets to interact more throughout the movie, which is an improvement. We also get action hero Abe Sapien, jumping around and firing guns. While vampires and werewolves are not quite as inspired of monsters as the Japanese folklore of Sword of Storms, but the story makes up with this, including a snake goddess and two odd witches.

The animation of both films look better than the initial stills I had seen. And the character designs seem even a bit stronger in this film.

I am not sure exactly where these films are supposed to fall. Are they outside of Del Toro’s films? Are they part of that universe? The fun notion of using the live action actors has a lot to do with the uncertainty I have. But wither way, the Hellboy Animated films are pretty fun.

May 15, 2019 0

Birth of the Demon Part 2 (Hellboy Animated: Sword of Storms, 2006)

After the theatrical Hellboy saw moderate success, the studio greenlit a series of animated film. The first was Sword of Storms.

A professor finds an ancient scroll that tells the story of a samurai who defeated two storm demons and traps them in a sword. The professor becomes possessed from reading the scroll and goes missing.

While investigating the the missing professor, the Bureau finds the sword. Upon touching it, Hellboy is transported to another world, a mystical version of Japan.

Basically, the film completely separates Hellboy from the rest of the cast. While this could have worked, nobody else gets much to really do, they are just searching for Hellboy. However, Hellboy is constantly dealing with fun monsters inspired by Japanese folklore.

The big draw for the film was the live action film’s voice cast appearing. And we get some of the chemistry, but by separating the cast for much of the movie, it never feels like they get to gel…and granted, part of that may be due to the process of recording for animation, as actors are often not interacting with each other. I feel this is especially true with Jones’ performance…which feels a lot more aggressive than his vocal performance in the Golden Army.

The character design Sean “Cheeks” Galloway is pretty slick and stylish, with its own distinct look. It turned out that one of the conditions of the animated films was that the animation style could not look like the art of Mike Mignola, which had been the directors’ original plan. While that might have been cool, Galloway’s angular and cartoony style is quite good.

While not quite as fun as the live action Del Toro films, there is some really fun sequences in this animated take on Hellboy.

May 14, 2019 0

Birth of the Demon Part 1 (Hellboy, 2004)

Guillermo Del Toro was already familiar with the world of comic book films. He had directed the highly entertaining Blade 2 just two years earlier. But Hellboy was right in the Del Toro wheel house.

Hellboy, a demon pulled from a hell dimension during World War 2 by Nazis and raised by a kindly scientist working with the Allies, is part of the Bureau of Paranormal Research. They keep an eye on the supernatural happenings throughout the world.

We are introduced to this world, and Hellboy, through the eyes of the newly assigned Agent Myers. Myers and Hellboy struggle to get along. Especially when it appears that his crush, Liz Sherman, may be attracted to Myers.

Hellboy is a lot of fun. Largely this is due to the performances from Ron Perlman as the titular Hellboy, but also the aquatic Abe Sapien. Performed by Doug Jones (with a studio mandated of David Hyde Pierce, who actually refused his credit, feeling the entire performance was created by Jones*) Sapien is brimming with kindness and empathy. Selma Blair gets to be more than the love interest. She is a pyro-kintetic who has been an outcast and is trying to come to terms with it.

The plot is almost kind of irrelevant, the film is more about the odd whimsical and supernatural experiences. The villains are largely stock (the exception being the very creepy Kroenen.

Some of the digital effects have not aged greatly (and yet, sadly, still are stronger than what we got in the newest Hellboy). But the make-up in the film is terrific.

While flawed in parts, the film remains an entertaining romp.

*This experience, along with Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (where Doug was overdubbed by Laurence Fishburne) has resulted in Jones requiring in his contract that his vocal performance be used in his roles.

May 13, 2019 0

Rebirth of the Demon (Hellboy, 2019)

For a time it appeared as if 2008’s Hellboy and the Golden Army was the last time we were going to see Hellboy on the big screen. But then, a few years ago, new talk of a third Hellboy film emerged. Guillermo Del Toro and Perlman both had expressed plenty of interest. But then something happened. Creator and owner of Hellboy, Mike Mignola and Del Toro could not come to a unified vision and Mignola brought his character to a new creative team.

Rather than continue the story began with the Del Toro films, Mignola, Director Neil Marshall and screenwriter Andrew Cosby start fresh. Hellboy is tasked with fighting the all powerful Blood Queen to save the world. Dismembered by King Arthur, an evil creature who seeks revenge on Hellboy starts to piece her back together. Once she regains all her power, she will be able to unleash monsters upon the world that will bring about the end of humanity.

But Hellboy is the key to her goals, so not only is Hellboy having to fight the bad guys, the good guys largely do not trust him and some are actively out to kill him. Hellboy also struggles with his relationship to his earthly father Professor Broom and their goals. If their purpose with the B.P.R.D. (Bureau Paranormal Research Defense) is killing monsters, why did he save Hellboy at all?

It is hard not to compare this with the two prior films. All three had good casts. Harbour is pretty good in the role. Ian McShane is a very differy Professor Broom. He offers similar sentiments about Hellboy’s potential, but he is a far gruffer father figure as opposed to John Hurt’s kindly old man.

Sasha Lane is an interesting addition as Alice Monaghan, a psychic and medium with a long friendship and connection to Hellboy. His main conflict within the team is Ben Daimio. A military man who hides a big secret and has no trust for Hellboy, Daniel Dae Kim manages to avoid the cliche of the guy with a big secret not get annoying. It is hard not to miss Abe Sapien in the film, as he was such an integral character in the previous films.

Milla Jovovich is, honestly, playing a pretty stock evil character, but it works in the context of the story. I appreciate that the film continues to use the creatures of myth, such as faeries and bizarre ancient looking gods.

I think the new Hellboy design largely works and does not feel like they are just trying to imitate the Del Toro looks. And yet…

Well, the film treads some similar territory as the first. We are getting a new beginning… but the plot is hinged on Hellboy possibly bringing about the end of the world and his temptations to do so. We get some of the same visuals we have seen in the previous films, with no real fresh approach. Growing horns, flaming crown…but the story just never feels like it finds it’s footing as a new and exciting role. I never felt a real rush of excitement or engagement- in spite of liking the characters.

While some of it works, there is also a lot of really dodgy CGI that is, at best, about as good the stuff we saw in the previous two films over ten years ago.

Finally…the film is ridiculously more gory than is necessary. It is full of digital blood and absurd levels of violent gore. Where as the Del Toro films delighted in the monsters and fantasy, this film seems to find its joy in simply being gory. I guess this should not surprise us, as the filmmakers did talk about the freedom of an R-Rating…and just a few days before the film’s release the studio released a trailer all about how the film is an awesome orgy of violence and language…full of grossness and gore…and the swears.

I actually hate having to say that this film is a real disappointment. While I was disappointed when the work with a third Del Toro film fell apart, I still hoped the new team would create a memorable and fun film. It has a great cast, some fun ideas. And with a better story? We could have gotten something great…both fresh and familiar…and it just is not.

April 14, 2019 0

The Length of Love (The Book of Life, 2014)

La Muerta rules over the joyful Land of the Remembered, while Xibalba rules over the Land of the Forgotten. He tries to convince La Muerta to change sides, but she is not interested. He proposes a wager. Observing the rivalry of two young boys (Manolo and Joaquin) over their friend Maria, each god chooses a boy as the one who will marry Maria.

La Muerta disguises herself as an old woman who asks if Manolo might give her a piece of bread. Instead he generously offers a full loaf. Xibalba tries the same thing, but Joaquin is not so giving. Maria is sent off by her father, returning years later. Sensing Maria is favoring Manolo, Xibalba tricks Manolo into giving up his life.

In the afterlife, Manolo discovers he has been duped and seeks the help of La Muerta.

The design of this film is remarkably charming. The framing device is that a museum tour guide is telling the story, and all the characters look like wooden puppets.

The Land of the Dead is a wonderfully bright and colorful world. The characters are full of charm. La Muerta is a kind and gentle, yet fearless goddess. Xibalba on the other hand is both scheming and yet friendly (he is voiced by Ron Perlman, whose performance is just a lot of fun). And while the story frames Manolo as a kind and generous artist and Joaquin as a cheerful braggart? Joaquin is not a villain. The story is pitting the two against each other, and it obviously favors Manolo as the man for Maria. But Joaquin is seen as simply misguided and in need of a lesson. The film has sympathy for him. And then there is Maria. She is not interested in belonging to anyone and regularly challenges her two friends. And there is Chuy the pig who makes a sound like a goat.

The music of the Book of Life blends American Pop music with latin flavors to great effect. But the highlight are the two original tunes I Love You To Much and the Apology Song.

The Book of Life is a charming fairy tale of love, loss and rebirth.

March 6, 2018 0

Roid Rage Part 5 (Conan the Barbarian, 2011)

After the attempt to (kind of) expand the Conan Universe with Red Sonja in 1985 fell short of expectations, the Conan Franchise went silent on the silver screen. While barbarians and fantasy seemed to have a fanbase on television throughout the 90’s, it was not until Game of Thrones that people seemed to feel like the genre of sword and sorcery could be revived.

Stepping into the loincloth of Conan was Game of Thrones star Jason Momoa. This film begins a bit more dramatically. We are treated to a narration by God (an uncredited Morgan Freeman). The film explains Conan was born of Battle and then makes this wholly literal, as his pregnant mother is fighting at her husbands side. Upon being mortally wounded, she commands her husband to cut the baby out so she can see him before she dies. So, it is a bit…over the top. Conan is raised by his father, the chieftain of a tribe dedicated to being powerful and wise warriors. But when their village is overrun by Khalar Zym who is hunting for a piece of a mystical artifact that Conan’s father has kept hidden, Conan and his father are tortured.

The movie then jumps ahead to a grown Conan living the lifestyle of adventurer. He finds himself drawn back into the fight to end the dark plans of Zym, who, along with his daughter Marique, seeks revenge on the world for the loss of his wife. They are seeking a pure blooded virgin for their special sacrifice. This turns out to be Tamara, whom Conan saves, forcing a battle of wills.

This Conan is a bit different from the Schwarzenegger version. Momoa is a leaner and more verbal Conan. This is actually more in line with Howard’s writings. The massive musculature we associate with the character was a development of Fantasy artists and the 1982 and 1984 films.

They are clearly trying to touch on all the versions of Conan. There are hints of the comics, the TV shows and films. Here Conan is a more skilled warrior. His father emphasizes the importance of the mind as a major component of the warrior.

Momoa is certainly entertaining as Conan. But the story is rather lackluster. Stephen Lang brings more to his role than seems to have been in the script. And Rose McGowan is fairly creepy as Marique.

Tamara is a problem for the film though. There is little for her to be, beyond a damsel in distress. She spends a good chunk of the final action tied up, and contributes little to the resolution of the film.

Conan the Barbarian is uneven, and this results in a lot of it just not keeping one’s attention. We are left with a rather average film, rather than an epic barbarian adventure.

December 9, 2017 0

The Hunter or the Hunted? Pt 4 (Alien Resurrection, 1997)

In spite of a lukewarm reception to the third film, the studio wanted to take another try at the Alien Franchise. Although they managed to pump this one out in just three years, it is a bigger mess than the last one.

This film is set around two hundred years after the last one. It establishes a new wrinkle in the xenomorph mythology. Not only do they borrow from their host, they seem to share DNA. Scientists clone Ripley and the clone has an alien queen in her chest.

A ship of space pirates arrives at the military base that has cloned Ripley with top secret cargo. The scientists are trying to control the aliens as possible weapons. You know how that will work out. The aliens break free and take over the installation, leaving Ripley (along with the Space Pirates) to try and escape.

The film tries to explore the ethics and horrors of genetic experimentation. There is a nicely played moment where they discover a lab full of less successful Ripley clones. One is still alive, causing Ripley true horror. The film has Ripley’s humanity in question (her blood has acidic qualities like the xenomorph) which is punctuated by a late reveal of a synthetic person. The film also tries to add a new breed of alien, but it looks absolutely hideous. Giving the alien beady eyes, white skin and a pot belly is not frightening, just an awful design.

The practical effects are, as they have been throughout the franchise, strong and effective. However, the digital aliens do not stand up well twenty years later.

In spite of a strong cast (not to mention script doctor work by Joss Whedon) the story feels rather pedestrian. Nothing quite gels into a cohesive narrative, and seems like it was built on a series of “wouldn’t it be cool if…” meetings.

May 31, 2017 0