Precious Memories, How They Linger (We Are Still Here, 2015)

We_Are_Still_Here_PosterA grieving couple move to the countryside beyond New York to come to terms with their loss.  But what they discover in their new home is they are not alone.

The house’s previous occupants have never left and seem intent on not only destroying the couple, but to even claim the soul of their late son for hell.

Starring Barbara Crampton and Andrew Sensenig, We Are Still Here is a good haunted house film that sets itself apart from films like the Conjuring or Amityville Horror by its visuals.  The spirits are distinct looking with white eyes, but otherwise charred black with red and orange cracking through.

This design plays into a later reveal in the film that makes for a fine surprise.  Larry Fessenden and Lisa Marie appear as friends who are believers in psychic phenomena, and this results in a solid performance from Fessenden as he attempts to communicate with the spirits.

We Are Still Here manages to be an effective and entertaining little film that deserves to be seen.

All Stand Together Pt 3 (Guns of the Magnificent Seven, 1969)

Guns_of_the_Magnificent_Seven_PosterRevolutionary Quintero has been captured by the Federale.  He gets $600 to Max to continue the cause.  Bandit and revolutionary Lobero wants him to use the money for guns and ammo, but instead he hires Chris Adams.  They put together a new Seven to free Quintero.

The film attempts to ground itself in a sense of social awareness (in part with characters like Bernie Casey’s ex-slave Cassie and the treatment of the peasants they encounter).  But the story is less than engaging.

Without Yul Brynner, this film feels like it could be any western.  I like George Kennedy, but Chris does not feel like Chris here.  The Guns of the Magnificent Seven is just not  the return fans needed.

Fishies Pt 3 (Piranha, 1995)

piranha_1995_posterProbably the most interesting fact of the Piranha remake is that a twelve year old Mila Kunis plays the daughter of the Greatest American Hero.

In 1995, Roger Corman and Showtime started remaking Corman “Classics” like Not of This Earth and Humanoids From the Deep.

Piranha was part of this series and the worst thing about it?  It is not bad or good.  It is just there.  It exists.  It is a pretty straight remake, just with a different cast.

William Katt (The Greatest American Hero & House) and Alexandra Paul (Baywatch & Christine) head up the cast.  The film follows  the original beat for beat.

There is not much to say, the effects are updated (yet there are many effects shots from the original film used in place of shooting new footage).  But the film brings nothing new to the story and ends up being so close to the original, it feels pointless.

The Showtime films somehow managed to tame the source material, which ends up making them…well…toothless.  It lacks Dante’s flair and has no chance of unseating the original.  This explains why the film is largely forgotten.

Just one random observation of both the original and the remake.  Somehow, when people start getting attacked while on docks or in boats, they are unable to remove legs or arms from the water…people are even pulled from boats by the piranha.  Because they are super strong…I guess?

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