The surprise success of Piranha 3D (which has a 73% Fresh Rating) resulted in another 3-D sequel. Apparently the takeaway for this film’s “creative team” from the previous film’s success was boobs. The title, Piranha 3DD? The posters? The plot?
The story centers around a water park run by David Koechner’s Chet and the return of his step daughter Maddy (Danielle Panabaker, the Flash). Maddy’s mother has died and Chet is a classy guy introducing an adult section to the Water Park. Maddy is appalled, but also happy to be back to see her friends.
The prehistoric fish are back, having escaped into a water supply, ultimately reaching the lake by the water park. There are corrupt cops (Maddy’s boyfriend, because…oh who cares) working with Chet to turn a blind eye to his cost cutting ways. The fish get into the park’s water system, eat people and cause carnage.
This film is gleefully trashy, yet manages to miss the mark entirely. The jokes are a bit more mean spirited and the characters are, at best, not terribly interesting to to watch. At worst, they are pretty unlikable. Keochner’s Chet is unlikable, but that is typical for characters he plays. So, as opposed to other unlikable characters, he is hilarious in his unlikable nature.
The film just falls apart and the plot becomes lost very quickly. The cameos are, mostly, not clever. Other than David Hasselhoff, the cameos have no real connection to water based horror. I mean, Hasselhoff is part of water themed horror. But Gary Busey?
Along with Koechner, there are some other bright spots. Paul Scheer and Ving Rhames return, in spite of it appearing both died in the last film. To be fair, Scheer literally disappears from the movie. He and Rhames have come to the park to challenge their fear of water (apparently the piranha attack in Lake Victoria was traumatic…babies). When the Piranhas show up, Rhames reveals his fake legs are also shotguns. Oddly, Rhames does not appear in the credits. David Hasselhoff is amusing portraying himself as a rather detached and delusional star. And Christopher Lloyd makes a reappearance as entertaining as the previous film. But it is a pretty short scene.
But this film stumbles in trying to outdo the gore and nudity of the previous film. It makes Aja’s film to look like art. Heck, the closing credits take forever, because they are filled with “gags” and “bloopers”. This film fails while trying to imitate it’s predecessor. Remember that Piranha 3D Rotten Tomatoes rating of 73%? 3DD is at 4%…and deservedly so.
So, The Final Destination was not the end. Final Destination 5 tells us the story of Sam who is on his way to to a work retreat. He has a vision of the bridge collapsing and almost everyone on their bus dying. So he gets off the bus and a lot of his co-workers follow, as they are nearing the end of the bridge, the collapse starts.
The Krampus is a part of Christmas folklore largely unknown to the U.S., he is not part of our tales of Santa. It is a popular bit of European folklore though. But, as the film states, he is the dark shadow of Santa. Santa rewards goodness, but the Krampus condemns the naughty.
Tripping Through Gateways 