And Starring Jeff Goldblum as Jeff Goldblum (Thor: Ragnarok, 2017)

Thor has been a fun character in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. He is cheerful, boisterous and powerful. He is also boastful and over confident. This drove his first film, while the second film seemed a bit aimless.

In Avengers: Age of Ultron, Thor had a vision of the end of Asgard. He left to get answers and was missing for Civil War. After Thor and Loki locate Odin, they are warned of the coming of Hela…their sister and the goddess of death Almost immediately Hela arrives and destroys Thor’s hammer. In their fight, Thor and Loki are separated and tossed into space. While Hela conquers Asgard, Thor finds himself on the planet Sakaar. Captured by the Grandmaster Thor must fight in the Contest of Champions..and the champion he must defeat? His pal Hulk.

Marvel has done pretty well in tapping directors with limited experience in big budget films and having it work out in their favor. Here they brought on New Zealander Taika Waititi, who is known for his unique comedies. Check out the films Hunt for the Wilderpeople and What We Do in Shadows and while laughing, you will likely not think “a Super Hero movie is next!”. But it pays off.

Thor is full of great action and humor. Unlike the previous two films, which were very earth centric, Earth has a brief cameo in the beginning. Otherwise the film is heavily focused on Asgard. To be frank, the previous films really failed to let Jane Foster shine and the relationship never had the strength of either Tony and Pepper or Steve and Peggy. So, the film quickly addresses that “they broke up”.

The film works to give most of the leads “something to come back from”. Thor must figure out who he is without his hammer, Hulk must get back to Banner, Valkyrie must reclaim her glorious standing as an Asgardian Warrior. There is not a lot to these arcs, of course, but the performances and interplay of the characters make it almost easy to miss.

The cast really makes the film. Hemsworth and Hiddleston have a solid chemistry together, where you buy right into their weird sibling relationship in which Loki will betray Thor over and over and Thor is still going to give him a chance. Tessa Thompson gives a real spark to Valkyrie, who could have been a pretty one note character. Cate Blanchett’s Hela is actually not any deeper than previous Marvel Cinematic villains, but Blanchett seems to have had a lot of fun in the role and the result is that I enjoyed her as a villain. It was great to see Mark Ruffalo back as Bruce Banner. The character is a bit shell shocked, which makes sense, as he has been “hulked out” for about two years, ever since the rampage in Age of Ultron.

And of course, there is Jeff Goldblum. The actor you hire when you want a Jeff Goldblum-esque performance. But seriously, Goldblum always delivers, and his Grandmaster is the Jeff Goldblumiest thing you will see all year. Unless Jeff Goldblum is Jeff Goldblum in another film before December 31st, 2017.

Thor: Ragnarok is a real blast of a film. It is light hearted, exciting and quite funny.

November 7, 2017 0

Modern Culture Clash (Clash of the Titans, 2010)

The new millennium brought a renewed interest in Greek mythology based films. This, of course, meant that a remake of Clash of the Titans was probably inevitable.

The modern take is…well, different. Here, Zeus is angered by King Acrisius and to punish him, he seduces and impregnates the king’s wife Danae. Angry, he seals her in a box with infant Perseus. The box is found by fisherman Spyros, who raises Perseus with his wife (Unlike the original film, Danae dies). Zeus is, of course, angered by this move and turns Acrisius into a monster.

Years later, Perseus is out fishing with his adoptive family. They witness soldiers tearing down a statue of Zeus. The soldiers are attacked by demons who also destroy Spyros’ fishing boat, resulting in the death of all but Perseus. He is found by soldiers who bring him to Argos. There he witnesses King Kephesus and Queen Cassiopeia. Cassiopeia mocks the gods and declares her daughter Andromeda more beautiful than any of the goddesses. Zeus and the other gods are watching and angered, but Zeus’ hand is staid by his love for man and the need for their prayers. But Hades demands that they must make men fear the gods again. He convinces Zeus to allow him to interfere.

Hades greets the King and Queen and demands Andromeda be sacrificed or Argos be destroyed. Perseus is convinced to go on a mission to find a way to defeat the titan called the Kraken. Along with several soldiers, Perseus begins his quest.

You may have noticed there are a lot of changes here. The film is less a remake and more a re-imagining. There is no love story between Perseus and Andromeda. His goal is to make a stand against the gods. Perseus is in denial of his demi-god status, constantly rejecting any help from Zeus in favor of doing everything “as a man”.

The gods themselves are worried about man’s rebellion against the gods and their power is waning as fewer people are praying to them. The only real example of the pettiness and competition between the gods is how Hades was betrayed by Zeus and Poseidon, which drives Hades’ desire to destroy his fellow gods. Noticeably missing?

The female gods. I mean, they are in the background. You see them, but they are pretty inconsequential. Unlike the original, Calibos is no longer the son of Thetis, and he is merely a pawn of Hades. It is disappointing that they push all other gods to the side beyond Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades. Making it about sibling rivalry is ignoring the rich history of the Greek gods. I suspect the fact that the original film was written by Beverly Cross, a woman, influenced the 1981 films inclusion of women in more equal standing.

In addition, the original cast women over forty in almost all the major goddess roles. In this update, most of the female roles prize youth and beauty above all.

Worthington is not nearly as engaging as some of his co-stars, which is a problem.

On the upside, the relationship of Spyro and Perseus is brief but nice. When his wife is pregnant, young Perseus is worried he will be loved less. Spyro offers comforting words noting Perseus is no less his son than if they were flesh and blood.

And while Judy Bowker’s Andromeda was a luminous beauty, she was not given a lot of time (though we see her decrying the rules of her curse which resulted in countless deaths). Here Andromeda is seen as a greatly compassionate woman. We see her going about the city in disguise to help the poor. She also refuses to accept the notion that others should die so that she might live.

The creature design is largely quite good (though the demons move so fast so as not to allow much detail to be seen). But even there, you have flawed concepts at work. Medusa should not be alluring, and yet, there she is in this film looking beautiful until the moment she turns you to stone.

The re-imagining ends up like a hodgepodge of mythical concepts that are thrown together, almost unrecognizable to their inspiration. In place of a romance with Andromeda, Perseus instead falls for the beautiful immortal Io. And at times, I found myself getting bored. This is in spite of the fact that everything tries to be much bigger than the original film. The scorpions are bigger, the Medusa fight is in a bigger temple, the Kraken is larger.

While Clash of the Titans is louder and slicker, it just feels like a pale imitation of its inspiration.

November 7, 2017 0

Culture Clash (Clash of the Titans, 1981)

Greek myths are some of the original action stories. Filled with god, heroes, and monsters, they still capture the imagination thousands of years after their originators have passed.

In 1981 we got one of the most memorable of the “recent” forays into Greek storytelling.

The king of Argos has locked away his daughter in fear of a prophecy that if she bore a son, that son would kill him. But Zeus falls in love with the lovely Danae and impregnates her. He has Danae and her son Perseus entombed and thrown into the sea. But Zeus is angered and has Poseidon release the remaining Titan the Kraken upon Argos, destroying it. Instead of dying, Danae and Perseus wash ashore.

Zeus watches over Perseus, causing strife with his wife Hera and Thetic, a sea goddess. This comes to a head when Zeus becomes angry with her son Calibos. He is a handsome young man destined to marry the beautiful Princess Andromeda, daughter of Queen Cassiopeia. Zeus is angered by Calibos’ cruelty and disrespect, citing his having hunted and killed all but one of the winged horses Zeus had created. He turns Calibos into a misshapen cloven-hoofed monster, left to rule in a swamp. Thetis curses Andromeda, requiring that each man who comes to pursue her must answer a riddle. If they fail, they are put to death.

Hero help Thetis set in motion a revenge plan, in which Calibos might end the life of Perseus. But Zeus provides him with special weapons that allow him to best Calibos and find the answer to the riddle. Perseus and Andromeda are to be wed, but when Cassiopeia oversteps and proclaims Andromeda more beautiful than Thetis herself, Thetis demands that Andromeda is to be given as a virgin sacrifice to the Kraken. Zeus reluctantly agrees, but Perseus is determined to save her and seeks to find something that will allow him to stop the sacrifice.

The final film to feature the stop-motion grandeur of Ray Harryhausen, Clash of the Titans is an exciting adventure. While there is no reality to them in comparison to modern model and cgi work, they have a unique and enjoyable charm to watch. There is a physicality to the visuals.

Medusa is the true highlight of the monsters in the film, her scary visage and every movement to inspire fear.

While the characterization of Zeus is a bit kinder than the actual myths, the overall pettiness of the gods is still at play. The actors also bring a regalness, from Laurence Olivier to Maggie Smith.Harry Hamlin has a chiseled from clay look (and super pouty lips) and Judi Bowker is luminous as Andromeda.

Clash of the Titans was not the last of these types of films (There were two Lou Ferrigno Hercules films), but it feels like it closes an era. But Clash of the Titans is a minor classic of fantasy films.

November 6, 2017 0

Yo Ho Ho! Let’s Try This Again (Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales, 2017)

Dead Men Tell No Tales comes six years on the heels of On Stranger Tides, and returns to the territory of the first three films. We meet a young boy named Henry. He takes a boat out to sea, ties a rock to his ankle and leaps into the sea. He is saved by the flying Dutchman. This is Henry, the son of Will and Elizabeth Turner. He tells his father he thinks he knows a way to undo the curse his father is under. However, Will sends Henry back. Several years later, Henry is on the hunt for Jack Sparrow to help him find the Trident of Poseidon.

In his travels, he meets the Ghost Captain Salazar who wants him to give Jack Sparrow a message for him. Salazar was cursed while trying to kill Sparrow and is now trapped as a ghost.

Henry does find Sparrow, and an accused witch who is also seeking the Trident. She is not a witch, but rather a very scientifically inclined young woman named Carina. It becomes a race against time as they search for the Trident, pursued by Salazar and the British.

As previously noted this film came out six years after On Stranger Tides and this film completely ignores the events of that fourth film. This is not to say they did not happen, but rather they bear no impact and feature none of the characters specific to that film. And they return things to the Turner family.

It feels like they anticipated this being a final film as it brings everything to a feeling of finality (in spite of a post credit scene that makes little sense in regards to the way the film ends). The film is packed with numerous action and escape sequences. There is a thrilling sequence involving ghost sharks. And the introduction of Jack Sparrow in this film is memorable and entertaining.

It takes awhile to get going, though the film is thankfully only about two hours, making it a lot more fun and less bloated than some of the previous installments. As always, the visuals are top notch. Salazar and his crew are crack and missing limbs and parts of their heads. There is a neat look where Salazar’s hair flows like he is underwater.

And the cast is quite good. The returning cast each get moments to shine and Javier Bardem appears to have had a lot of fun in his role as the angry and determined Salazar.

While not quite at the heights of the original film, this is still a fairly fun outing.

November 5, 2017 0

Yo Ho Ho! Let’s Restart! (Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, 2011)

After a somewhat lackluster reaction to At World’s End (don’t get me wrong, it made money) the franchise went quiet. And it may be that it could have been just left at being a trilogy.

But Disney wanted to keep it going, and four years gave us On Stranger Tides. This time, they leave aside Will and Elizabeth Turner. Will is apparently off being the new Captain of the Flying Dutchman, content to visiting Elizabeth and their baby once every ten years.

Instead, our focus is now squarely on Jack Sparrow. This time around he discovers that someone is pretending to be him to gather a crew for a new quest.

He discovers it is Angelica, whom he took the virginity of on the night before she took her vows to be a nun. Angelica is also the daughter of the infamous Blackbeard. Their quest is for the Fountain of Youth. Blackbeard and Angelica are not alone in their desire to find the Fountain. King George and the Spaniards are both looking to find it for their own reasons. Everyone is seeking Jack because they believe Sparrow knows where to find it.

In the midst of this race, there are a lot of random crew, along with the regulars, such as Barbossa and Gibbs. We are introduced to Philip, a compassionate young missionary who is under the protection of Angelica. She still holds strong to the idea that God must be respected and is hoping to save her father’s soul.

As they get closer, they must capture a mermaid. The mermaid Syrena is kept in a glass coffin as they make their way to the Fountain. While most of the characters are indifferent to her pain and suffering, Philip is both drawn to her and overwhelmed with compassion. This sets up a nice moment where a mermaid’s tear is needed and Blackbeard finds they cannot extract it through torture. He notes Mermaids are “too cold for that”.

On Stranger Tides was intended to kick off a new trilogy, though it feels like a one-off story. It is pretty clear that this film was based on an outside source (a novel by Tim Powers), fitted into the existing film mythos.

That is not to say that it is totally close-ended. Much like the Curse of the Black Pearl, it simply ends at a point where you do not have a lot of dangling plot points. Well, except for the storyline of Philip and Syrena.

The overall story is pretty weak, the fountain of Youth is not really that interesting of a MacGuffin, and it is a bit unclear of how it works. The film makes mention that you get all a person’s years if you and that person drink from the fountain. Plus, the Spanish explorers have somewhat nebulous goals. I mean, apparently, they are trying to stop anyone from gaining access to its power. But who are they? So, while much of the film feels like a one-shot, there are random mysteries left hanging.

Overall the cast is strong. Ian McShane’s Blackbeard is primarily dependant on his performance. Which is a good one, but the character is pretty undefined. Does he have a mystical power? Unsure really. He collects other pirates ships and keeps them in bottles. Not sure how or why. And what exactly makes him more fearsome than other pirates.

Cruz holds her own with Depp in their playful and innuendo-laden banter.

The visuals are great, and that is pretty much par for the course in the film. There are plenty of great action sequences holding the film together. But ultimately, On Stranger Tides feels like a placeholder as Disney tries to determine what to do with a franchise, rather than a kickoff to an epic new trilogy.

November 4, 2017 0

Yo Ho Ho, It is OVER! (Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, 2007)

Holy. Crap. THIS. MOVIE. IS. SO. LONG.

Like, super long. It is ten minutes shy of three hours.

Anyhoo, picking up where the last film left off, the Kraken ate Jack Sparrow and now Elizabeth Swann, Will Turner and Barbossa are trying to rally the troops to find and return Jack from Davey Jone’s locker so they can stop Davey Jones.

And this ends up taking over an hour. We see Sparrow in the afterlife and boy is he bored. And frankly? So was I. This sequence is just excruciatingly long. There are so many subplots, it just gets tiring and uninspired. I found myself constantly wondering about how much longer we had to go.

The films seem to want to position Jack as some magical key to the universe, rather than some lucky idiot. But really, the whole lunatic rockstar thing is wearing thin at this point. If you cut about an hour of the film or a little more, this might be a lean and fun adventure. Instead it makes the the Lord of the Rings: Return of the King look sleek.

Filmed back to back with Dead Man’s Chest, At World’s End tries be a massive epic, but it really only accomplishes feeling ridiculously bloated.

The visuals are quite good, as are the action scenes. But the road the story takes is so meandering as it is hard to not get bored through great portions of this film.

November 3, 2017 0

Yo Ho Ho! Let’s Go For Another Ride! (Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest, 2006)

“Abandon Ship, or Abandon Hope”, declares Kevin McNally’s Gibbs. Disney was full of hope they had a franchise after the hit of Curse of the Black Pearl. To make sure they could recapture the magic, they kept on the director, writing team and…of course… Johnny Depp and Captain Jack Sparrow.

Will and Elizabeth are engaged, Norrington has left the British Navy and now a bigger threat has arrived. A man who seeks to destroy the Pirate Scourge. His first act is to arrest both Will and Elizabeth, though this is a trap to try and force their hand in locating Jack Sparrow. Who they want because they believe he holds the key to a bigger weapon against all pirates.

Jack Sparrow is finding himself trying to avoid a debt to Davey Jones (who gave him the Black Pearl to captain for thirteen years, even if Barbossa took over a mere two years into the deal). He must serve 100 years upon Jone’s ship the flying Dutchman which ferries those who die at sea to the afterlife. Bootstrap Bill (Will Turner’s Father) comes to warn Sparrow that his time is up. But when Davey Jones sends his leviathan beast after Jack, they decide to beach the ship and hide on an island.

Will Turner is searching everywhere for Jack, but the best people seem to be able to do is say where they heard he was headed. He discovers the shipwrecked boat on a remote island and encounters Jack and the Black Pearl crew. They meet with witch Tia who tells them of a way to defeat Davey Jones, the cursed captain of the Flying Dutchman. Setting out to find the heart of Davey Jones, the crew re-unites, including Elizabeth Swann and the disgraced Norrington.

While Will and Elizabeth are played up to be the thread for the series, Jack Sparrow was the standout character for audiences in the first film, so the writers make sure we got a lot more Jack. Elizabeth is gone from the film for a good forty-five minutes, stuck in a prison cell. She is relegated to the prize that drives Will, which is rather unfortunate. Once she joins back up with the crew, she becomes much more active.

The visual design of the film is terrific. As with the Curse of the Black Pearl, we have cursed pirates, but this time they are more elaborate. Jones and his crew are connected to the sea so intensely, that they are blended with sea creatures. Jones’ head is an octopus, with his tentacles serving as a beard. Bill Nighy is terrific in the role, giving a darkly comic performance.

The film actually brings back almost the entire surviving cast, and everyone seems rather comfortable in their skins. The film has a lot of fun action sequences and of course many, many narrow escapes. But the extra focus on Jack also starts to run the risk of making the character more annoying than amusing. The film also is starting to try and set up an “epic” tale thing for Will, Elizabeth and really Jack. One character even notes that Will has the air of “destiny” about him.

This film is a lot of fun for the most part, and I would say it comes out pretty favorably in relationship to the first film.

November 2, 2017 0

Yo Ho Ho! Let’s Go For a Ride (Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl, 2003)

Disney was trying to find ways to tap various IPs (they did not yet own Marvel or Lucasfilm). They started to look to their theme park rides. And they tapped the director of the remake of the the Japanese Horror film the Ring. And hired Johnny Depp.

Young Will Turner was orphaned when a ship he was on (When he was much younger) was attacked by the pirates of the ship the Black Pearl. Turner is found with a gold coin that young Elizabeth Swann pockets when she finds him.

He is now an apprentice to a blacksmith, but as you would suspect longs for adventure. He is also has a crush on Swann, daughter of the governor.

Elizabeth has been involved with Captain Norrington, who proposes to her. Captain Jack Sparrow, a rock and roll pirate, arrives on a literally sinking ship. He is attempting to steal a new ship in a quest. But he gets captured when he sees Elizabeth fall into the sea and leaps in to save her. The gold coin she found years earlier has a surprise reaction when it touches the sea.

That night, the Black Pearl arrives and pillages the village, as well as kidnapping Elizabeth. The authorities do nothing, so Will teams with Sparrow to pursue the Pearl and Elizabeth.

Of course, being based on a ride, the filmmakers have a lot of room to do whatever they want. And so, Pirates of the Caribbean is equal parts adventure and fantasy. The pirates of the Black Pearl are not just pirates, they are ghost pirates! In the moonlight, they become skeletal monsters. Led by the immortal Captain Barbossa, they are seeking the missing coins of the treasure that cursed them many years ago.

This ends up making for a rollicking fun, full of wild stunts, sword fights and high seas action. While Orlando Bloom is a bit bland, the rest of the cast is extremely strong. Keira Knightly’s Elizabeth Swann is a spirited fighter, while Geoffrey Rush’s Barbossa is a despicable and duplicitous fiend. And while it is clear that Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann were meant to be the focus of the film, Johnny Depp’s Jack Sparrow pretty much steals the show.

It’s effects still largely hold up, which is a good thing, considering the film is very relient on their support. Curse of the Black Pearl is an absolutely fun surprise of a film. It does not take itself too seriously and has an enjoyable cast of characters.

November 1, 2017 0

Flights of Fantasy

Well, October has come to a close and now we begin with a new month. November will be dedicated to…the films of fantasy!

Thetis_Achilles — Thetis brings the arms forged by Vulcan to Achilles. 1866. Alexandre Georges Henri Regnault

Greek myths! Magical pirates! Wizards! Boy Wizards! Dragons! Warriors! We will look at films such as the Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, the Clash of the Titans and Pirates of the Caribbean among others. Enjoy the month of November and the flights of fancy!

November 1, 2017 0

Just Need to Take a Ride (Knightriders, 1981)

I never really had any idea what this movie was about, based on the cover in the video store. s thought it was maybe about time traveling bikers in medieval times or a post apocalyptic future. It turns out…it is about Ren Fair bikers who get super popular.

Billy leads a traveling show where everyone dresses as knights and other medieval citizenry, with the one different being they ride motor cycles rather than horses. Most treat it as a fun business, but Billy seems to have really bought into the notion that there is a certain reality to his kingdom. He starts to really have a crisis when he discovers a magazine write up about his crew that starts to cause fractures. It starts to get minds within the group to be tempted by dreams of fame and stardom.

Eventually, Morgan (Tom Savini) walk away to take a lucrative sounding offer of commercialization. And while it is exciting at first, they start to become disillusioned, missing what they had with Billy.

It is interesting to see how they have framed various members of the Arthurian court. Merlin is more of a hippie than magician…but he seems able to reach Billy in a fashion others cannot.

The film focuses on themes of being true to yourself and your ideals, an not caving to compromise. And that can feel a bit goofy in a film about guy jousting on motorcycles for fun.

The jousting sequences are fun to watch and really, the cast does a good job of bringing it all to life convincingly. If the film has one major flaw, it is quite simply that at two and a half hours? It is a bit to long. But still, this is such an odd man out of the Romero catalogue, it has some real charms.

October 7, 2017 0