Kingly Status (The Scorpion King, 2002)

So, in the Mummy Returns, the Scorpion King is a threat to the world, a servant of Anubis. In this prequel, set well before that part of the story, the Scorpion King is more the underdog hero, seeking vengeance on the King responsible for the death of his brother.

Mathayus is a mercenary hired by free tribes to kill a sorcerer who works for the evil King Memnon. The mission goes awry and his brother is killed. Mathayus seeks vengeance and finds himself teamed up with happy fool Arpid. When his attempt at assassination of Memnon is thwarted, he discovers the sorcerer is, in fact, a sorceress…and a beautiful one at that. He kidnaps her to use as a means of luring Memnon out into the open.

The Scorpion King is a pretty typical light fantasy film in the vein of Conan the Barbarian. It does not get anywhere near as given to magical dealings as it’s Mummy brethren, the story hints of magic, but we do not see a lot of magic in practice.

The fights are pretty well choreographed, but the film lacks a lot of the humor of the Mummy franchise with only a few really funny moments. This is probably one of the Rock’s most charmless roles. The female characters are treated as objects first…characters second. This is unfortunate for Kelly Hu, as the film basically places it’s emphasis simply on how attractive she is.

The digital effects run from okay to pretty unimpressive. There are digital snakes towards the end that look like cartoons. Nothing about the film really stands out at all. It remains a rather forgettable exercise, in spite of spawning three o it’s own sequels (all lacking Johnson).

September 22, 2017 0

One More Shot (The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, 2008)

It took seven years to get a sequel to the Mummy Returns. Helmed by the Fast and the Furious and Dragonheart director Rob Cohen, The Tomb of the Dragon Emperor is set in China.

Rick and Evie’s grown son Alex has followed in his parent’s footsteps and has discovered the Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. While investigating, he meets a ninja named Lin, who tries to stop him from making the kind of mistakes the O’Connells are prone to making.

Meanwhile, Rick and Evie have settled into a less hectic lifestyle, with Evie writing pulp romance novels inspired by their adventures. They are asked to transport an artifact to China which leads them to meet Evie’s brother Jonathan in Shanghai where he has a mummy themed restaurant called Imhoteps. They meet up with Alex and Li who has joined him as they need to stop the Dragon Emperor who was raised by Chinese General Yang.

This leads our gang on an adventure that includes women thousands of years old, Yetis and good guy mummies. The end result is mixed. The adventure is there, the humor is there. And the effects are greatly improved.

It serves the franchise well that they left Egyptian Mummies behind, giving them a fresh setting. The majestic mountains of China make for an impressive backdrop.

The thing that feels off most of all is the change for Evie. While most of the primaries returned, Rachel Weisz did not. While Maria Bello is a perfectly fine actor, she has a different presence, so much so that Evie feels like a noticeably different character, especially next to Fraser who is the same Rick O’Connell.

The film is a decent enough sequel, though not anything special unless you are a die hard fan of the franchise.

September 21, 2017 0

Let’s Get the Band Back Together (The Mummy Returns, 2001)

Stephen Sommers returns to helm the next installment of the franchise. Set about ten years after the first film, Rick and Evie are married and maverick adventuring archaeologists. Think if Indiana Jones was rich, rather than a college professor. With their young son, Alex, they explore an ancient site and discover artifacts related to the fabled Scorpion King.

The film actually begins by establishing the myth. In his film debut, Dwayne Johnson (billed in the film as The Rock) is the Scorpion King. A fierce Warrior who wandered the desert and on the verge of death made a pledge to the god Anubis. In the present day, a Cult has resurrected Imhotep with the help of Meela, the reincarnation of his beloved Anck-Su-Namun.

Alex tries on a bracelet that reveals a map to the oasis of the Scorpion King…and the bracelet won’t come off. This sets into motion both the O’Connells and Imhotep racing to the oasis.

The Mummy Returns is guilty of the sequel tendency to be “bigger”. Every action scene is a major event. Every character a greater purpose. Evie suddenly has super fighting skills, and it is discovered she is the reincarnation of Nefertiti, daughter of the Pharoah and opponent of Imhotep and Anck-Su-Namun. And Rick? Well, he is revealed to actually be Magi (with magical knowledge of their code phrases) the watchers over Imhotep from the first film (Oded Fehr returns as Ardeth Bay). They must fight an army of pygmy mummies. I mean, the movie is full of mummies beyond Imhotep.

This is not to say the film is not fun. It actually carries a lot of the spirit of the first one. The action is fun, there are daring saves, exciting sword fights and so on. The film relies on the same humor of the first.

The digital effects are mostly on par with the previous film. There were not real leaps in technology for these films, and it all looks…okay. But there is one glaring issue here. Even by the standards of digital effects in 2001 (and remember, this is post “Phantom Menace”)? The digital Scorpion King monster looks absolutely terrible. It looks like a sub par video game creature.

In spite of the ridiculous flourishes (reincarnation for Evie, Rick being Magi, etc) the Raiders of the Lost Ark feel still works in the film, and it comes out as a fairly decent sequel.

September 20, 2017 0

Wrapped in Adventure (The Mummy, 1999)

In the 1930’s an ancient book has been discovered. with the help of her brother and drunken adventurer Rick O’Connell, librarian Evie Carnahan leads an expedition to locate a lost city and the tomb full of treasures and antiquities. They are racing against mercenary thieves. Both sides have a person who has been to the lost city before(Rick for Evie and the mercenaries have the cowardly Beni). Upon finding the city, both sides set to exploring the tomb they find at the center. Each has a piece of the puzzle, Evie a key to the Book of the Dead, the other group has the Book.

After discovering a corpse that seems to still be fresh, in spite of its age, Evie gets drunk and reads from the Book of the Dead. This sets off a chain of events that could result in the end of the world. On a more personal level, Rick and Evie must find a way to stop Imhotep from using Evie to bring back his beloved Anck Su Namun.

While the Mummy has traditional been a character of horror canon, this film takes a very different approach. Stephen Sommers opts for an Indiana Jones style adventure full of crazy action and special effects. Lighter on the gruesome and elevating comedy, this is a fun film.

It’s heavily reliant on digital effects, and almost two decades later they hold up to varying degrees. It definitely dates the film, and yet, in the end, does not change that it is a pretty solid action movie.

The cast turns in entertaining performances. Rachel Weisz is charming as the beautiful, clumsy and ambitious Evie. Brendan Fraser channels Indiana Jones with swagger and goofball confidence.Sommers regular Kevin J. O’Conner is funny as the duplicitous Benji who ends up helping Imhotep to save his skin.

The film’s approach to the Mummy mythology is nicely thought out, tying Imhotep’s return to the ten plagues that beset Egypt in the Old Testament. The film even connects the oppression of the Jews under Egypt with Benji trying a variety of religious symbols to ward off Imhotep, only for Imhotep to pause when he sees a Star of David.

The Mummy is full of action and humor. It still holds up in spite of the dated effects.

September 19, 2017 0

Sharks Got Brains (Deep Blue Sea, 1999)

Scientists may have cracked the code for an Alzheimer’s cure. but they need to keep their funding. Rich business man and adventurer Russell Franklin needs convincing, so he is visiting their research facility. The facility is a floating fortress, with most of it being below water. The reason for this is that the research involves sharks.

It is the weekend, so it is a bare bones staff of scientists, a shark wrangler, an engineer and the cook. The shark wrangler, Carter, has a checkered past and this concerns Russell in the beginning. As a storm approaches, they try and prove their success with Russell. Russell (as well as Carter) is startled to see just how smart the sharks seem. When a tragic accident forces the team to try and medivac out a scientist, the storm interferes and gives the shark an open. In a freak series of events, the facility is heavily disabled.

The crew is forced to outwit the sharks and try to reach the top of the facility, which is sinking fast. Russell is stunned when Dr. McAlester confesses they broke laws regarding genetic research and have genetically altered the sharks’ brain structure, making them larger and smarter.

The cast of characters are pretty stock characters, I mean, Samuel L. Jackson’s Russell Franklin is the type of guy you expect him to be. Cause this is Sam Jackson. He is quietly intense, but also loud and bombastic. Carter (the Punisher’s Thomas Jane) is calm and smart, rarely rattled. Preacher (the cook) is kind of the stereotypical Black Movie Guy. Sarcastic attitude and brief comments about God (the character’s backstory includes being a failed pastor). But LL Cool J has fun with the role. At one point Preacher believes he may not make it and grabs a video camera to leave a legacy…it is not quite what you expect.

The sharks are a combination of digital and practical. The mechanical practical sharks actually look really good. The digital ones vary from scene to scene.

Easily one of Renny Harlin’s better films, Deep Blue Sea is a fun thrill ride of a film with a good cast.

September 18, 2017 0

Up From the Depths With a Vengeance (Jaws: The Revenge, 1987)

Apparently, the one thing that could kill the shark was this film. Opening up shortly before Christmas, we find Sean Brody is now working for the Amity police. He lives with his mother (a returning Lorraine Gary). He is called out to take care of a log floating in the bay. As he tries to get the log, a large great white shark attacks Sean.

Mike comes home to be with his grieving mother and invite her to return with him to his Bahaman home where he is studying snails. She gives in, though starts expressing a belief that the shark has returned to take out the family. And sure enough, once in the Bahamas, the shark appears.

Most of the film is spent with Michael and local pilot Hoagie trying to convince Ellen that it is all coincidence, but she knows better. In the meantime, Mike and his research partner Jake are secretly studying the giant great white.

While the idea that Ellen would be obsessed with the notion that the shark is seeking revenge on her family is intriguing…it is undermined by the fact that she is right. The shark is calculated, ignoring people who are not related to the Brody family (one death is because the shark misses a Brody) and showing itself a skilled hunter, navigating its way through a sunken ship. The dialog also seems to ignore that Chief Brody killed the previous to sharks, with Ellen and Mike talking as if this new shark is the same shark from earlier films.

The film gets even more improbable. It pretty much eats a plane (of course the shark downed a helicopter in the second film). The shark pops out of the water and roars. Like a dinosaur.

Jaws: the Revenge completely ignores Jaws 3-D, and tries very hard to ties itself to the first film. There are several duo-toned clips from the original, meant to draw parallels. Except, they are presented in a way that implies they are memories of Ellen’s. But she is recalling things she never witnessed. Martin killing the shark, Sean being killed by the shark…and so on and so on.

Really, all those call backs just bring more attention to how anemic this film is. Even Michael Caine couldn’t save it.

September 14, 2017 0

Up From the Depths & In Your Face (Jaws 3-D, 1983)

Jaws 3-D was almost titled National Lampoon’s Jaws 3, People Zero…or so the story goes. Spielberg apparently nixed the idea. Instead, we got Jaws 3-D. Set years after the second film, Mike Brody works for Sea World and is dating marine biologist Kay. His little brother Sean comes in for a visit and becomes smitten with Kelly, a Sea World Performer.

Sea World is preparing to unveil its new Undersea Kingdom…a sprawling underwater complex for tourists to enjoy. Overseen by the flamboyant Calvin Bouchard, he spares no expense when he sees potential dollar signs. He also brings in celebrity game hunter Manimal…uh…Philip Fitzroyce. Manimal…look it up, folks.

A baby great white enters the bay and is trapped inside. When discovered Kay convinces Bouchard to allow her to catch it for study, noting that having the only great white in captivity would bolster Sea World’s reputation. But baby jaws is the least of their problems when momma comes looking for her baby.

Jaws 3-D features an all new cast, with Dennis Quaid stepping into the shoes of Mike Brody. The film actually has a pretty good cast. Lea Thompson (in her film debut) as Sean’s love interest and Louis Gossett Jr. are fairly memorable.

But the story just is not all that compelling. Moving the setting to a theme park might make it all look bigger, but it is a pretty hollow story with no real emotional resonance.

In addition, I would say the film has some of the worst shark effects of the entire film, with the sharks looking like plastic toys. Jaws 3-D is inferior to both Jaws and Jaws 2.

September 13, 2017 0

Up From the Depths Redux (Jaws 2, 1978)

When you beget the first summer blockbuster, the studio will want to get back to that gold mine. Of course, Steven Spielberg did not return…reports include production conflicts as he was working on Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Others report that he thought sequels were a joke. Close Encounters also prevented Dreyfuss from Returning.

However, much of the central cast did return. Set a few years after the first film, Brody is still the Chief of police. He is struggling with his teenage son Mike. And when there are some mysterious deaths, Brody jumps to his default…a big shark. Unsurprisingly, everyone tells him he is crazy…I mean, ANOTHER shark? Who is this guy? John McClane?!

Of course, it is a shark, another great white to be exact…and it falls on Brody to put an end to it.

Jaws 2 is not really terrible. It can be downright suspenseful in fact. There are moments of high drama. But in this film, there is no Quint or Matt Hooper for Martin to play off of. He gets support from his wife, but in the end, it is all on Brody’s shoulders to kill the shark.

The film skips the hiding of the shark as the director felt there was no way to duplicate the original film’s big reveal. And he is correct. But the shark in this film seems even more rubbery, especially noticeable in a scene where the shark barely misses Mike Brody and slides against the boat.

Jaws 2 is a decent attempt to follow up the original, but in the end, it more imitates it, with only limited success.

I do have one question…after the events of the first film…who the heck voted to keep Mayor Vaughn in charge of things????

September 12, 2017 0

Up From the Depths (Jaws, 1975)

In 1975, Steven Spielberg created “The Summer Blockbuster”. Based on the book by Peter Benchley Jaws tells the story of police chief Martin Brody, who must deal with an aggressive great white shark that has invaded the beaches of his island community.

The film opens on a beach party, a young woman named Chrissie runs off with Cassidy for a late night skinny dipping session. While Chrissie swims, Cassidy passes out on the beach. Suddenly, Chrissie is jerked under water…she surfaces, now frightened, then she thrashes violently. We never see her attacker as she disappears below the water.

Chief Brody is a man frightened of water, yet lives on an island (He tells Matt Hooper that it is only an island if you are looking at it from the water). When the coroner suggests Chrissie was the victim of a shark attack, he leaps into action, only to be shut down by the Mayor, who does not want to close the beaches during tourist season. Only after a very public series of attacks do they allow Brody to take measures to destroy the shark. He is joined by marine biologist Matt Hooper and the gruff Quint.

Jaws may have kicked off the concept of a Summer Tentpole film, but that does not mean it is light fare. While there are plenty of thrills, Spielberg is focused on the characters and their stories. Brody loves his family and becomes worried for their safety. His wife Ellen is constantly trying to fight his obsession with the danger of the shark. But even she finds it hard not to give in. In one scene, Brody tells his son to get out of his small boat. Ellen tries to convince him not to worry…until she sees a picture in a book that Brody is holding showing a shark tearing through a boat.

The film has many great character moments, such as when Martin and his oldest son are sitting at the table and the son starts to imitate his father. It is a touching moment showing the connection Broody has with his family. Then there is a moment between Hooper and Quint on Quint’s boat where they compare scars.

The performances in the film are compelling. Roy Scheider, Robert Shaw and Richard Dreyfuss have a terrific chemistry.

The shark (nicknamed Bruce) tends to look pretty fake, and due to limitations of the time, Spielberg chose to cut the movie in a way that would hide these issues. And it is a wise move that builds suspense effectively.

In later years, Benchley became an advocate for sharks, feeling both his book and the film created an irrational fear of sharks that resulted in people slaughtering them. But still, Jaws is an effective classic, worth watching.

September 11, 2017 0

Back to the Beach (Baywatch, 2017)

Honestly, of all the “Drama TV Show Made as a Comedy Movie” options? Baywatch seemed like the best option. Even at its most earnest (and Baywatch saw itself as a serious adventure drama), it was pretty hilarious.

So, opting to go the route of comedy, made sense. I would have not given Baywatch a chance, were it not for some of its casting choices. Most specifically Dwayne Johnson and Alexandra Daddario.

One of the weirdest things to me about the original show was it apparently had a 65% female viewership. A show known for slow motion shots of Pam Anderson (and a series of Playboy Playmates that followed her) had a large female audience. Maybe it was David Hasselhoff? So, just how well does the Baywatch movie translate?

The short answer would be “Okay”. The whole cast is pretty good and clearly get their roles. The film opens with beautiful beach shots leading up to a big rescue by Mitch Buchanon (Johnson), leaping into the ocean to save an unconscious swimmer. The guy asks Mitch if he is Batman, and Mitch replies, “Sure am…just browner.” We see Mitch is rather beloved, one guy making daily sand sculptures of Mitch because he saved the life of the guy’s sister.

We are introduced quickly to the rest of the cast. Ronnie is an aspiring lifeguard with a massive crush on gorgeous C.J. A running gag is how flustered he gets around her and uh…an enthusiastic response in his pants. Summer (Daddario) is another aspiring lifeguard who catches the attention of Matt Brody, an infamous gold medalist swimmer who joins the crew for community service. Stephanie is Mitch’s second in command.

The central plot is the discovery of drugs on the beach, leading to the team’s efforts to expose a drug ring. The plot is very simple but overly easy to sustain as the story hits the typical beats as many stumbling blocks impede their investigation. Primarily, they are not cops.

The humor and language are more ‘R’ rated than the original show, though only one sequence goes overboard. There is a sequence in the morgue that goes for gross out humor that oddly enough feels a bit out of place. A lot of the humor is based in poking fun at the source material. At one point, everyone is throwing crime scenarios at Brody. He is arguing that they should be going to the police, rather than solve the case themselves. He points out that the scenarios all sound like some unrealistic TV show. I am pretty sure these scenarios all were from the original series.

There is a moment when Summer and Ronnie are discussing how C.J. seems to move in slow motion. And here is where it gets to be a fine line. Because if you are poking fun at the show’s “jiggle” factor? You really run the risk of perpetuating it. This cast is all attractive, and especially the women. We are treated to all the women in sexy swimsuits, sexy gowns, sexy…well, you get the point.Of the central cast? The only average looking characters are guys. I am a bit torn on the Ronnie and C.J. plot line. It is a pretty tired “Average Guy and Hot Girl” scenario. On the other hand, both characters are likable and the relationship develops somewhat organically.

The jokes tend to be hit or miss, though there are a fair number of good laugh moments. The action sequences are actually quite nicely done and look great. There are some awesome underwater shots.

In the end, though, what works best in the film is its ensemble cast. They all have a certain charm that carries the film in a way the plot and humor do not. Like I said, Baywatch is okay and even enjoyable. But it never gets above its source material enough to feel fresh.

September 8, 2017 0