Gotham Crumbles (Batman & Robin, 1997)

Remember how I said Schumacher hoped to make Batman Year one by giving the studio what they wanted? Well, Batman Forever was actually a hit. It made a ton of money. And guess what the studio wanted? If you said, “A gritty look at Batman’s first year”? Slap yourself. They said “Give us more toys and product placement. Which led to a seen where Batman uses his BatCredit Card.

In addition, Kilmer was the George Lazenby of the franchise. He was out…in was ER heart throb George Clooney. Clooney got the luck of putting the nails into the coffin of the original Bat-Franchise.

Batman & Robin is bloated, as it has introduced Robin and now Batgirl (who is Alfred’s niece, rather than Commissioner Gordon’s daughter). The villains are Poison Ivy and Mr. Freeze. Freeze is almost wonderfully miscast with Arnold Schwarzenegger in the role. The character has always been a thin and lanky dude. So casting a muscled action star only makes the most sense. In addition to the two villains, the film includes Bane as one of the henchmen of Poison Ivy.

Batman and Robin try and stop Freeze and Ivy who team up for reasons…even though their reasons are kind of in conflict. Alfred is sick (and Freeze may hold the cure) and Commissioner Gordon is still around because people expect to see him in a Batman movie.

Like the last film, this one contains a big deal soundtrack, part of a thing in the 90’s where soundtracks featuring bands was a sign of a cool and with it movie. Scores were for suckers in the 90’s. The soundtrack help more to date the film than make it truly memorable.

Clooney is not terrible in the role…I mean, he is clearly trying to be a good Batman. But the problem is, he is in a toy-centric movie, where his role is only as important in as much as it can sell toys to kids. O’Donnell already feels to old to be playing a whiny entitled brat…but there he is. Alicia Silverstone was a very 90’s choice. She faced a brutal and unfair onslaught of abuse over fluctuating weight that simply did not belong in coverage of the film. Uma Thurman’s Poison Ivy is okay in performance, but her hairstyles are pretty terrible. My favorite performance is actually John Glover…his Jason Woodrue is manically entertaining.

Bane is portrayed as a mindless drone under Ivy’s control. Which shows how they just treated characters a something to be cherry picked with little regard for the original visions of these characters. Visually the lush color schemes of Schumacher’s previous film.

The entire film is a crazy mess of an art department cut loose in concert with a demand for product tie-in to the point of almost beautiful obnoxiousness. It never comes together in the end…but if it does not give you a seizure? You probably got out okay.

August 23, 2016 0

Theeeeeeey’re Back (Independence Day: Resurgence, 2016)

Twenty Years between sequels is a long time. There has been longer, but twenty years is nothing to sneeze at. The reviews that proceed me have been harsh, many suggesting that this is the worst film of the summer. But honestly? It’s an OK film. There are some decent quips. The effects are good. Goldblum slips into his role pretty seamlessly. Spiner pops back up and gets a beefed up role. Bill Pullman is the tortured Ex-President. Sela Ward is thr tough current president. Replacing Will Smith’s Captain Steven Hiller is his son Dylan Hiller (Jessie T. Usher). He is apparently annoyed with Jake (Liam Hemsworth) for almost killing him (accidentally) a few years before. Jake is the hotshot risk taker who saves the moon base (but getting no thanks for it). He is also engaged to President Whitmore’s now grown daughter Patricia (Maika Monroe), who works for the current President and is a former pilot. Then there is Floyd (Nicholas Wright, also one of the writers). He is in love with Rain Lao (Angelababy) the top Chinese pilot. Towards the beginning of the film, we are also introduced to Warlord Dikembi Umbutu (Deobia Oparei) and the standard sparring love interest for Goldblum, Catherine Marceaux (Charlotte Gainsbourg). If this seems like a long introductory paragraph? It is a lot longer in the film.

One of the big problems this film has? So much of the personal conflict feels entirely unnecessary. The conflict between Dylan and Jake could be removed entirely and not impact the film at all. Their relationship would not be lessened without it. What makes it worse is that really, the new character lack charisma and have terrible lines. The quips in the film are largely duds.

The movie follows the first film’s formula pretty closely. We spend an hour being introduced, or re-introduced to the leads (or at least, it feels like a long slow hour). We get a lot of destruction as the ship arrives. An “exciting” battle that fails, heroes stuck in the alien ship, heroes flying alien ship. A road trip with Judd Hirsch. Sure, some it is a bit jumbled around and it is all amped up a bit, because, well, it is a sequel.

The creature design is surprisingly pedestrian. The Alien Queen is suspiciously like the Alien Queen from Aliens, especially in her movements. The world building is a bit lazy. Yeah, they have alien technology, but it seems to be mostly applied to weapons and vehicles. How does it change other things? Communication technology seems to basically be smart phones, laptops and tablets. The world has been united since 1996, and I guess there might be some plausibility there, but the world is basically America, except for the continent of Africa, still run by Warlords.

The film also just ends very weirdly. No big speech, Spiner just runs into frame to set up the next film. And the screen goes black. So, no, this is not the worst movie of the summer (surely we cannot make such a claim seven days into summer). It is not the best either. It is an okay and underwhelming sequel.

June 27, 2016 0

Taking Our Planet Back (Independence Day, 1996)

24 Year old Me Reviews Independence Day: OMG! That was awesome! Cool Effects, funny quips. Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum was great! Bill Pullman plays the Version of a Democratic President Dean Devlina and Roland Emmerich wish Clinton was! Cool movie! Everyone should see it.

20 Years Later Me Reviews Independence Day: Ehhhhhhh…this is a pretty dumb flick. But in a weird way? That is part of it’s charm. Will Smith plays his standard Cocky Hero Guy, Jeff Goldblum is his standard nervous idealist guy, Bill Pullman is THE PRESIDENT, Randy Quaid is a version of his Uncle Eddie character (a version more deeply consumed by alcoholism), Mary McDonnell is the woman who must die to give Bill Pullman resolve (er, the First Lady) and Judd Hirsch plays Old Jewish Stereotype.

Visually, this film holds up pretty well. Considering it relies on practical effects as digital (as Digital Effects were still in their infancy) the destruction still looks convincing. The dogfights hold up and the aliens look quite good.

The writing is broad in the film. Folks speak in quips and dramatic phrases. Sometimes, as with Goldblum and Smith, this is effective. They carry the burden of most of the humor, Though Brent Spiner (Star Trek’s Data) shows up briefly to play an amusing and socially awkward Area 51 Scientist. Pullman plays earnest and plays it well. There is a speech in the film that could have gone off the rails, but his delivery makes it seem better than it is.

Of course, the “Rah Rah America” gets overbearingly embarrassing. The whole world was apparently sitting around waiting on America to come up with a plan to fight back against the aliens. There is a moment where a British guy tells another soldier that the Americans have a plan and he pretty much says “It’s about time”. The inspirational message to the world in the film? We are all America.

The overall cheesiness and goofy nature of the film does work to the film’s favor and it is the times when it takes itself to seriously that it feels like it will fall apart. And even 20 years later it can be fun to watch, especially for the visual effects and the main performances. And no matter who is in office, there are always going to be people happy to see the White House blown to bits.

June 26, 2016 0