Careless in Suburbia (Poltergeist, 1982)

The Freeling family have a good life. Steve and Diane have three children. One evening they are awakened by their youngest, Carol Anne, who is talking to the TV.

As days go by they notice unusual phenomena and not just Carol Anne watching static on the television. The dog responds to something nobody can see, the son is sure the tree outside his window is alive.

After a traumatic night which results in Carol Anne being taken by the spirits she has been communicating with. When paranormal researches come in, they are floored by what they find. It is decided they need the help of an exorcist to try and get Carol Anne back.

There are two things people likely recall most vividly. Cute little Carol Anne turning to the camera to say (eerily) “They’re Heeeeere” and Zelda Rubinstein as Exorcist Tangina. Her most famous line has been quoted in many films and TV shows…”This house is clean.”

Rubinstein is memorable in both appearance and performance. A small older woman, she brings an otherworldly vibe, and at times, her purposes almost seem at odds with the Freelings.

The effects still stand up, with only a few exceptions. The most obvious being a sequence with a character clawing his face off and it is obviously a dummy head. But otherwise, the ghost effects still work very well.

There is a longstanding belief that Spielberg is the director of Poltergeist, and it appears he was on set, though so was Hooper. He was filming E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial at the same time (a movie he offered to Hooper to direct). Hooper is the only credited director, but according to at least some individuals who were there, it was primarily Spielberg. It sounds like this was not one of those situations where Hooper was being replaced, and he had some creative input. It would appear they got along fine and Hooper was providing Spielberg cover in regards to contractual rules with E.T.

Regardless of who directed it, Poltergeist is an entertaining and somewhat unique horror film with a terrific cast.

October 4, 2017 0

Special Visitor (Salem’s Lot, 1979)

Hooper’s first Stephen King adaption, Salem’s Lot is a pretty straightforward vampire story. Popular writer Ben Mears has returned home to Salem’s Lot. But Mears is not the only person arriving in town. The mysterious Mr. Barlow and his employee Mr. Straker have arrived. Nobody has met Barlow, but he is taking up residence in the old Marsten House.

Mears actually has a theory that the house is evil and attracts evil men. And in this case, he will discover he is very right.

Townspeople start to get anemic and die, causing Ben to wonder if it is a vampire, but he needs proof. At the same time, he is falling in love with local teacher Susan Norton.

It becomes a race against time for Ben to find proof and defeat Barlow.

Salem’s Lot was a two-part mini-series, allowing it to explore the story more. Initially, we start witnessing the dark secrets of the town, such as the affair between Larry Crockett and Bonnie Sawyer.

There are some great visuals in the film, for example, a young boy is visited at his window by a friend who is floating outside. Hooper makes use of the atmosphere of his local very effectively.

I really like the choice of the vampire looking like Count Orlok from 1922’s Nosferatu.

While it can be a bit slow in it’s build up, it is a pretty decent vampire tale with good spooky atmosphere and sets. Salem’s Lot shows a real measure of improvement over Eaten Alive for Hooper as a director.

October 3, 2017 0

Crocodiles Make Fine Pets (Eaten Alive, 1976)

Tobe Hooper followed up his classic horror the Texas Chainsaw Massacre by traversing similar ground but in a different way. Set in rural Texas, Judd runs the local Starlight Hotel. It is a remote location, with its own swamp. And in that swamp? Judd keeps a giant crocodile. And guess what he feeds it?

Judd is your standard movie religious psychotic redneck. He kills prostitutes, he kills johns, he kills people who might expose him for killing prostitutes and so on.

Everything about this film feels like a sub-par take on the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Both were made with obvious low budgets, yet here it just makes the film look cheap. In place of any tension, the film feels sleazy and generally unpleasant.

Probably the most interesting thing about the film is the cast. It features a young Robert Englund, and several familiar faces, such as Mel Ferrer and Neville Brand. And yes, the woman running the brothel is Morticia Addams, Carolyn Jones.

This was ultimately a disappointing follow-up to a classic.

October 2, 2017 0

October: The Dead, Martians and Atomic Brains

Welcome to the month of October. As with every year, it will be scary movies all month. Themes for this month include the films of George A. Romero and Tobe Hooper.

I had started doing a zombie theme for the month, but the death of Romero in July prompted an exploration of his films, as I really had only seen a few. And I had not seen some key parts of his older work, so it was interesting to take a look at films like Martin and Season of the Witch (one I find myself generally thrilled with and the other…well…).

Only a month later, Hooper passed. Now, I have covered a few Tobe Hooper films in the past so I will not be creating new entries for those. For Lifeforce, the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 and the Funhouse…click the links). I confess Hooper’s films start to take a sharp turn after the Mangler (which is more a crazy mess than a classic). I am going to also include his Masters of Horror episodes Dance of the Dead (which seems like it would be a Romero title for a zombie movie set at a rave, oh wait, that was one of the Return of the Living Dead films) and the Damned Thing.

Also, later this month, I will be going through the entire filmography of Christopher R. Mihm, a local Minnesota filmmaker. He has a new movie coming out this month, the Demon with the Atomic Brain. His films are loving odes to the horror and sci-fi films of the fifties and sixties. His Mihmicerse is populated with ghosts, mutant animals, and Nazi Killing Weresquitos. I will expound more as we get to the films later this month.

Hope you have as much fun reading these as I have had writing them.

October 1, 2017 0

Space Suckin’ (Lifeforce, 1985)

When I planned this post, Tobe was still with us. In October, I will be exploring some other Hooper films. But my thoughts go out to Hooper’s friends and family.

Set in 1985, the international space shuttle the Churchill is observing Halley’s Comet. They discover an object hidden in the tail of the comet, only to discover it is a giant spaceship. The craft is full of corpses of strange humanoid bat creatures…and then there is the weird part. Three beautiful humans encased in crystal coffins. The Churchill goes silent, and is only discovered after it appears to be adrift. It is found with only one remaining crew member (Col Tom Carlsen) and the beautiful young woman.

Col. Colin Caine is trying to determine what has happened, but a new threat arises when the beautiful girl awakes and we discover she is a life draining energy vampire. Seducing a young guard, she dramatically draws his life energy out, leaving a desiccated corpse. It all created a domino effect as it turns out those she drains are not dead, but now lesser vampires. They can return to life briefly, but without regular energy infusions, they die permanently. Caine and Carlsen start trying to track down the Space Girl (this is actually how the character is credited) who is moving through London psychically, while her body is hidden away.

The visual effects in Lifeforce are very strong. The corpse monsters (and there transformations) are especially cool sequences. There is a sequence where the Space Girl reaches out to the leads building a blood body that is effective (though the two bodies are clearly dummies).

The cast is good, with Railsback’s Carlsen being a seemingly dubious character who seems more obsessed with the Space Girl rather than stop her. The film aims to be pretty epic, but can veer into some real campy territory. Most notably, although the beautiful young actress Mathilda May only appears as the Space Girl for about ten minute or less? She is naked for about twelve of those minutes. Sure, by Game of Thrones standards, that seems quaint…but it was a pretty big deal at the time.

There is a goofy charm to the film, and most of the strengths are the presence of British Thespians such as Frank Finlay and Patrick Stewart (who shares an on screen kiss with Railsback). Hooper has certainly made weirder films (*cough* the Mangler*cough*)

September 1, 2017 2

Let’s Visit Texas Part 2 (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, 1986)

the_texas_chainsaw_massacre_part_2_poster — Don’t You, Forget About Me…

Cannon Films got the rights to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and immediately set to get Hooper to make a sequel. Except, Hooper was not really interested in a sequel. He agreed to be a producer, but only after they found they could not afford a director, did Hooper agree to direct.

While the studio expected a straight up horror film, Hooper had something else in mind. A gory and dark comedy. This is even evident in their poster, which mimics the Breakfast Club poster.

Two guys harass radio DJ Stretch (Caroline Williams), only to find themselves attacked and killed by Leatherface and his clan. This is a pretty memorable scene, in part due to the obnoxious preppy guys and their demise. Stretch starts to rebroadcast to solve the crime.

Meanwhile, the crime is also being investigate by Lefty (Dennis Hopper)…Lefty has been on the trail of the Sawyer family for over a decade, as they killed his nephew Franklin and nearly killed niece Sally. Leatherface and Chop Top (a family member who was in Vietnam during the first film) show up to the radio station looking for Stretch. She convinces Leatherface to let her live, rushing off with Chop Top. She follows them to their new home (they are hiding out in below what appears to be a the remains of a theme park). Soon Lefty shows up as well. This results in a big chainsaw fight between Lefty and the family.

The film’s final scene mimics the original film’s final moments, but reverses them. The film also is where the cannibalism aspect comes in. The family has an award winning chili recipe (hint, the special ingredient is people meat) that they take around Texas.

The cast here is a lot of fun. Hopper is over the top as Lefty and his Chainsaw battle is downright hilarious. William’s handles being both the terrified victim, yet also is smart enough to find ways to survive. Bill Mosely is great as the absurd Chop Top, the weird hippie of the family. Bill JohnsonThe make-up effects and set design are beautifully theatrical.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre was not well received, but it’s become a cult classic, and deservedly so. It is entertaining, even though it is not a scary film by any means. Horror fans should not miss this clever skewering of Horror sequel tropes.

October 26, 2016 1

Let’s Visit Texas Part 1 (the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, 1974)

I think the lesson in this film franchise is never take a road trip to Texas. But anyways, the original film about a family of twisted and likely inbred rednecks is based very loosely on Wisconsin’s Ed Gein.

Gein is pretty notorious for his grave robbing and making furniture from human bodies. He also confessed to killing two women. But it is the creepy house of horrors that really seemed to inspire Tobe Hooper and his team.*

Hooper opens his film with an introduction warning us of the horrifying tale we are about to witness. It is followed by a creepy visual of a corpse that is hugging a gravestone. All as a news report tells us what the police discovered. The sound effect that accompanies the scene is intensely creepy.

We meet a group of young friends on a road trip to check the grave of Sally Hardesty and her brother Franklin’s father, based on the reports of grave robbing. They pick up a creepy hitchhiker who freaks everyone out. They toss him to the side of the road and continue on their way. Their van is low on gas, so they pull over. Hearing a generator, they discover a farmhouse. And that is where the mayhem kicks in. The friends find themselves stalked and treated like animals by the Sawyer family.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is one of the most controversial of the classic 70’s horror films. It is remembered for it bloody brutality and gore. Which made my first viewing a surprise. The film is raw and frightening. But it is also not very gory. It is, largely bloodless. Even a scene in which a young woman is suspended on a meat hook is not nearly as gruesome in it’ visuals. Much of what makes the Texas Chainsaw Massacre to gruesome is the viewer’s imagination. The thought of how painful it is. It is also interesting to realize the who “Family of Cannibals” aspect was not actually established in the film. Certainly there are things you could see as hints, but nothing explicit.

The set design was made on a budget, but the crew puts together a weird and creepy home for the family. It is genuinely unsettling.

Made with a cast of unknowns (for almost all the performers, this was their first film) by a second time director, Massacre is pretty remarkable for it’s near continuous intensity. Hooper and his team (both behind and in front of the camera) do quite well on a shoestring budget. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a powerful and raw horror film that has held up for forty years, and for good reason. The film is one that sticks with the viewer long after turning off the TV.

*Gein also inspired Robert Block’s Psycho among others.

October 25, 2016 1

Crypt Keepin’ Carpenter (Body Bags, 1993)

An attempt by Showtime to create a Horror Anthology to compete with HBO’s Tales From the Crypt, Body Bags both starred and featured direction from John Carpenter. Showtime killed the series but released the three shorts set against bookend segments hosted by Carpenter as a creepy coroner. His assistant was Tobe Hooper, director of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Both directed a segment as well.

Just like the Crypt Keeper, the Coroner makes schlocky jokes, before introducing the story. It is not entirely certain each bookend was meant for the story that followed.

The first tale, the Gas Station, is about a young woman on her first night working at a gas station on a lonely stretch of road. After a parade of weirdos, she discovers she is being stalked by a serial killer. It is not a unique story, but it is well done, with a nice little twist. Wes Craven has an amusing cameo as a creepy drunk who hits on the young woman.

The second segment, Hair, is about a man who is obsessed with his thinning hair. In spite of his girlfriend’s insistence that it does not matter to her, he cannot stop fearing losing his hair. Everywhere he looks he sees luxurious heads of hair. He drives his girlfriend away because he won’t accept himself. One night, he discovers a clinic that promise actual regrowth of lost hair. Richard runs to the clinic for their service. He is stunned when they try and talk him out of it, but he wants hair. But in the end, he finds the hair wants him just as much as he wants it. This is an entertaining story with and entertaining performance from Stacy Keach. This is also the most humorous of the stories.

The best segment is the Eye, starring Mark Hamill as a minor league baseball player whose career is cut short when he loses an eye. He is offered a chance at a new experimental surgery that gives him a donor eye. But with the eye comes dark and depraved visions. Are they his own or the previous owner of the eye? Hamill gives a strong performance. Of the three tales, this is the best of the bunch.

As with all anthologies, some installments are better than others. But thankfully, in the case of Body Bags, all three are ranging from decent to very good. While the first two segments are directed by John Carpenter, the Eye is directed by Tobe Hooper. This is an enjoyable film. And for those curious…you get to see Luke Skywalker’s bare butt.

October 17, 2016 0

Cannon Blasts (Electric Boogaloo: The Wild, Untold Story of Cannon Films, 2014)

The 80s were the heyday for Cannon Films. Electric Boogaloo is the story of Israeli cousins Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus. Their goal? To make Hollywood Blockbusters. Things did not quite pan out, in spite of their tries.

What we got were schlocky gimmick films and attempts to create trends with their films. This documentary chronicles the rise and fall of their studio Cannon Films.

The film talks to a thorough list of their directors, actors and employees that offer a entertaining and fascinating look at the studio’s rise from sexploitation films to goofy dance films to Chuck Norris actioners.

The film offers some interesting tidbits I was unaware of. One example? The Chuck Norris Vietnam POW action flick Missing In Action was actually the second film. The director of the film told Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus the first film (which was not yet released) was terrible. So they released the sequel as Missing In Action, and the first film was released as Missing in Action 2: The Beginning.

I found the documentary was interesting and enjoyable. The Cannon world was a crazy one. Interestingly, the cousins refused to be interviewed for the documentary, instead funding their own (the Go-Go Boys: The Inside Story of Cannon Films) and beating Electric Boogaloo in release by three months.

December 9, 2015 0

Carnival Horror (The Funhouse, 1981)

The titles start out quite promising with a montage of rather creepy animatronic puppets. The film then starts out as if Tobe was making a Halloween meets Psycho ripoff. We see the killers point of view as an attractive girl takes a shower. The killer even selects a clown mask (Ala young Michael Myers). It’s clear the killer seems to live in the house with the girl…we get a point of view shot from behind the mask (again! Like in Halloween). There is a struggle and then the girl, Amy, discovers her attacker is her little brother playing a practical joke. Am I just really abnormal in finding this bizarre? Am I really the only one? It seems not uncommon in movies that you have brothers playing jokes that require them to ogle their sister. I know I’ve seen it in other films…are screenwriters all only children?

The girl tells her brother she is not taking him to the carnival that weekend. She then tells her father she is going out with her boyfriend Buzz, and her father tells her not to go to the carnival, as it the same carnival where two girls were found dead the prior year. She promises not to go, but we all know this is a lie…as we do not have a movie without it.. Her boyfriend and their two friends go to the carnival.

The carnival Funhouse features one of the most uninspired carnival barkers ever (Kevin Conway). He delivers everything in a low gravelly tone. But the four friends go inside. Meanwhile? Amy’s little brother sneaks out and makes his way to the carnival. The four hide behind the tents to smoke a joint, because, they need to work towards complete the “Horror Movie Sin List.” Then they visit the fortune teller, whom they offend with their pot induced snickering. Damn drugs.

The kids get the wild idea to stay overnight in the Funhouse. At the Carnival where two dead girls were found the year before. So, the kids call their parents to say they are staying at each others homes overnight. They get on the funhouse ride and slip off once inside. Damn drugs.

Then we get some long and drawn out shots of people leaving the carnival. Amy’s Brother stays behind as while. He’s frightened away as the animatronic dummy at the entrance seems to recognize that he is standing there. Meanwhile, the teens are adding to the Sin List in the funhouse by making out and feeling each other up. Damn teenagers.

They discover that they are above a room, so they watch what plays out…they discover that the fortune teller is a part time sex worker. I am not exaggerating here, she takes money from men to perform sexual acts. She is pretty lousy about it, because she is mean and rude to her john. Unless that is his thing. It might be, as her john cannot speak and wears a Frankenstein mask. He’s unsatisfied with her performance and kills her. Then he hides the body.

Our drug addled sex fiends, er, the kids decide it is time to get out and go home. Not a bad idea, in theory. But it turns it to not be so simple. The exit is chained shut. They are trying to figure out a new way to get free, only to witness the john (who is the carnival geek) being abused by his father…it turns out that the geek is a rather deformed mutant. So, things are getting worse.

Then the killing starts. I mean, after the first killing. Turns out the geek is pretty sneaky, tricking the kids and separating them.

The film makes a good use of color, lighting and sound, the funhouse itself feels old and dilapidated, and is really more fearsome than the monster in that it feels like a rundown deathtrap. Hooper doesn’t have a lot of victims to work with, so it is not some unrelenting spree of death, and he focuses as much on atmosphere and trying to build a real sense of dread. It’s not successful, however as scenes are drawn out a bit to long to the point the final confront has you starting to get bored and want it to be over already.

The film is full of strangeness. For example, there is the old woman who tells the girls that God is watching them. And then there is Amy’s brother walking along the road and some guy pulls up and offers him a ride-then pulls out his shotgun…as the kid runs away? He laughs like a horror film mad scientist. No reason given for that either. And he never shows up again. Damn drugs.

Unlike Hooper’s Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which is unrelenting towards the end and has you wanting the end to come as a release, here the end just needs to come period. It hurts to say this, as I do like much of what the film has to offer. It’s the drawn out ending that kills it for me.

October 23, 2015 1