Fear of Santa Claus: Television Edition Pt 2 (And All Through the House, Tales From the Crypt, S1 Ep2, 1989)

EC was the controversial publisher of crime and horror comics in the 1950’s. The comics code kind of killed them. Funny enough, the EC Comics stories were very “moral”. Each story involved people doing evil and getting their comeuppance. In 1972 there was a film based on the comics, adapting the stories. And All Through the House was included in the anthology…it was a very serious affair with Joan Collins. It is extremely serious. In 1989, HBO brought the Crypt Keeper to the television scream, I mean, screen. Using popular actors of the time (episodes featured Tom Hanks, Arnold Schwarzenegger and John Lithgow, among others). Some were big stars, some were rising stars, some waning and some unknowns who were discovered much later. It was a popular show that was eventually brought to the networks (albeit in an edited format) through syndication.

Written by Monster Squad director Fred Dekker and directed by Robert Zemeckis, the episode is both full of tension and laughs. Mary Ellen Trainor plays the wife of Marshall Bell. She kills him on Christmas Eve, and while disposing of the body, encounters a maniac in a Santa Suit. Much of their initial confrontation gets played for laughs. Especially as the Santa Suited killer is the one getting hurt. Larry Drake offers some comical reactions as he is hurt by Trainor.

But of course, Trainor killed her husband, so the story cannot end well. Bookended by the Crypt Keeper, the story begins and ends with bad puns, This is a very entertaining episode, and one of the series strongest. It is a lot of fun for a tale about a homicidal killer in a Santa suit.

December 20, 2016 0

Boys and Ghouls At the Movies Part 3 (Ritual, 2006)

The third and final (to date) Tales From the Crypt film is Ritual. You would not realize it is a Tales From the Crypt film though. The reception to Bordello of Blood resulted in the third film being released scrubbed of any Tales From the Crypt Connections. The “Tales from the Crypt Presents” was added to the DVD Box when it was released in the U.S. as a direct to video release, but the film remained as it was in theaters.

This means that the film lacks anything connecting it to the series. Unlike the first to films (which opened and closed with the Crypt Keeper voiced by John Kassir) There is no Crypt Keeper host. No actual references in the titles, no entering the Crypt Keeper’s house and no comic book cover. The irony here is that while they removed those things to avoid the connection after the failure of Bordello of Blood, this generic Voodoo horror thriller desperately could use the flavor of Tales from the Crypt, or at least an actual alteration to the formula as Demon Knight had done.

Written by the Director of the first Fast and Furious film Rob Cohen and the film’s Director Avi Nesher it is loosely based on the 1943 film I Walked With a Zombie.

It tells the tale (get it???) of a disgraced Doctor named Alice (Played by Jennifer Grey) who takes a job in Jamaica tending to a young man with encephalitis. He believes he is a zombie under a curse. And someone seems to be using Jamaican Voodoo to attack Alice.

There is a bit of humor to see that as the films went on, they had less star power than the original show. But the film tackles a topic the show already did, and the show did it in the so much better. This film lacks the humor that was such a big part of the TV series. Which results in a dull and boring film with low level effects. It is not that the film lacks talent, it is that they have a guy like Tim Curry and just give him nothing to do. Why would you want to do that?

Of course, based on this image? Maybe leaving the Dreadlocks sporting Crypt Keeper out of the film was a good idea…

March 2, 2016 0

Boys and Ghouls Goes to the Movies Part 2 (Tales From the Crypt Presents Bordello of Blood, 1996)

Demon Knight was received well enough to not deter the Tales From the Crypt Crew to keep on with their plan of a franchise with Bordello of Blood a year later. The film had an all new story, though they included a tie to the last in that the magical macguffin is the “key” from the previous film. But this time it is the only thing that can keep Lilith (Angie Everhart) the Queen and Mother of All Vampires in check.

Bordello of Blood feels like a regular episode simply stretched to long and thin. The little brother (Corey Feldman) of young Katherine Verdoux (Erika Eleniak) has disappeared. She ends up enlisting skeevy P.I. Rafe Guttman (Dennis Miller in his first and really last leading role) to find her brother. We viewers know he went to a new bordello (hint, it is the titular Bordello of Blood). There we discovered that Lilith has apparently made a ton of attractive women into vampires who kill their customers.

Then there is a subplot involving Katherine’s employer. She works for a megachurch televangelist named Reverend Current (he has an “electric” theme) played by Chris Sarandon. He apparently employed man of adventure Vincent Prather (Phil Fondacaro in a role that is not all about his height, which is a nice surprise) to get Lilith for him. So, the Preacher is controlling Lilith to be used in his battle against…Satan or…Something?

The film is more in line with the the TV series. It has lots of slapstick type of jokes, gratuitous gore, and it has HBO’s trademarked “Tons O’ Nudity”.

According to one of the producers, Miller flat out stated he would not say any of the written dialog, instead making up his own, usually the day of. If this is accurate at all, it only ended up hurting the film. The jokes from everyone tend to fall flat. The plot makes little sense (What exactly does Reverend Current hope to accomplish with a vampire?!) and even by “Dumb Horror Film” standards, it is not entertaining even in a terrible way.

The characters are not particularly likable. They are sleazy jerks, or in the case of Katherine, uptight and overly prudish. Miller has his trademark snark in full display, but it works against him, because his character (technically our hero) is a real douche.

All the roles for women are based on being sexually desirable, which is frustrating, especially when you consider that in Demon Knight, character was more important and the roles for women were more substantial.

It is no surprise that the film franchise took a hit, and enough that the third movie was released with all hints of the franchise cut out.

March 1, 2016 0

Boys and Ghouls Go to the Movies Part 1 (Tales From the Crypt Presents Demon Knight, 1995)

HBO’s Tales From the Crypt was in it’s sixth Season when they started a bold plan to break out into movies. There had been a Tales from the Crypt film in the seventies, but this would be different. Instead of being an anthology film, the Tales from the Crypt movies would tell a theatrical length tale. They assembled a series of scripts, none of which were specifically written for the franchise. This resulted in three films of varying success.

The first up was Demon Knight. It introduces us to Brayker (William Sadler) a man running from a conflict. He arrives at a remote hotel which houses a motley crew of broken people. Brayker is frantic and mysterious, so nobody takes him seriously before Hell literally arrives in the form of Billy Zane…the Collector. Brayker has something he wants.

The Collector is actually a demon who needs a “key” that Brayker is trying to protect. This key will allow Hell to overrun the world. So Brayker tries to keep him out of the hotel. Except, the barriers he erects also depend on the personal strengths of the people in the hotel. If they let the Collector in to themselves, he can use them as fresh demons.

And that is where Billy Zane gets to shine. This is really his movie. The Collector appeals to your hopes or desires. He promises one person love and respect, the two things she does not get in her life. And then he tempts another character as a friendly bartender. Zane has fun with these moments and is highly effective, you understand why characters cave.

The effects are low budget, but effective. The demons are creepy, and the practical effects work really deliver for the story. The characters are easy to root for, most of them having decent qualities, even if rough around the edges. And the film has CCH Pounder. Every film should have her in it.

In spite of the film being outside the typical stories in the Tales catalog (they are usually tales of bad people getting a comeuppance. Demon Knight is a Heroes Journey), it is an effective tale. It is fun, exciting and well told. The film has a strong cast that really sell the situation. This is the best of the three Tales From the Crypt films, and the one truly worth watching.

February 29, 2016 0