Need a Way Bigger Boat (The Meg, 2018)

A few years ago deep dive rescuer Jonas made a critical decision that cost him his job. Jump ahead to the present and a deep sea exploration team has become trapped deep in the ocean after discovering a hidden world teeming with life…including giant Megalodon sharks. They bring in Jonas to conduct a rescue…but after the rescue it appears they are not the only ones to return to the surface.

Is the Meg a great film? No. Like the books it is inspired by, it is cheesy. The film is full of over the top characters (at one point Rainn Wilson’s excitable billionaire notes that Statham’s Jonas has a heroic walk, but seems to have a bad attitude).

This is pretty much…what if Jaws was a big action movie. And you know what? It is a lot of fun. I had a whole lot of fun watching this one. It is action packed and has a rather engaging cast. This second part is important because these characters are not particularly deep, but the cast tends to imbue them with enough personality to make for an entertaining and cheesy ride.

No, it is not a great film. The Meg is not a classic, bt it is dumb and goofy fun.

August 11, 2018 0

Speed Racers Pt 8 (The Fate of the Furious, 2017)

If prizes were awarded for the most inconsistently named franchise? Pretty sure this franchise would own that. If George Lucas was involved, they would all get renamed something like Dom Toretto and the Fast and The Furious (Who care if Vin is in every film or not).

By this time, our heroes have gone from criminals to underdogs to helping the authorities. But after saving the world last time around, Dom has apparently switched sides and is helping Charlize Theron take on the world. She is an evil hacker with big plans…and so Mr. Nobody calls in The Fast and Furious team and a surprise guest…the last film’s villain (Jason Statham). Has Dom truly gone bad? Is he really turning his back on his family?

This is the first film in the franchise not directed by Justin Lin, and it definitely loses some of that cohesiveness. It feels less like a continuation and more like a flat out sequel from the…uh…sequel factory. F. Gary Gray is a strong director and has some definite “action/Car movie” cred with the 2003 remake of the Italian Job. But the story itself feels like it was conceived months after the last film was released and worked to fit their latest idea together. The previous films felt more “organic” with Lin at the helm.

I cannot pinpoint exactly why this is, as the guy who wrote this film (Chris Morgan) wrote every film since Tokyo Drift. Maybe Gray connects with the characters differently. But one thing that stands out is that there is a big plot point that comes pretty much out of nowhere as Dom’s motivations. There is no point in a prior film to see it coming. It feels purely invented for the film, like a last minute idea to solve a problem they were having.

Fate is certainly not lacking for action, though they may finally be hitting that point where it is hard to top the big set piece of the previous film. The massive race across the ice and attempts to outrun a massive submarine feel more like they cobbled together ideas from the previous film, so instead of giving us an impressive and new sequence it highlights cooler moments of past films.

While Fate of the Furious is not terrible (and not by the standards of the franchise itself, it has its moments), it does feel like the franchise is finding it harder and harder to sustain itself.

August 1, 2017 0

Speed Racers Pt 7 (Furious 7, 2015)

The seventh film in the series that has not apparently run out of gas (and fifth film directed by Justin Lin) finds the team no longer on the run and being a family. Dom and Letty are working on their relationship, as she has not regained her memory. Brian and Mia are enjoying parenthood. Everything is going smoothly…well, except the fact that somebody is trying to murder the crew…and not just the crew, but anyone connected with the take down of Shaw in the previous film. Which means Hobbs needs to team up with the family once more.

The big threat here? Shaw’s big brother… uh… Shaw. Well, this brother gets a first name as well. Overseeing our intrepid clan is Mr. Nobody…played by Kurt Russell. Because if your films are full of familiar faces and names… you cannot go wrong adding Kurt Russell to the mix.

Seven ups the stunt ante again…”Gee, we had a tank last time?” How about skydiving cars? Cars driven from from skyscraper to skyscraper…via the top floors? In this film, they crash cars and use pieces of the cars in hand to hand combat. The Rock picks up a giant gun and starts to shoot down a helicopter. And then? It gets nuts.

Overall, it is a pretty solid effort, though false a bit short of the sixth entry. Part of this is due to the film having been faced with an unexpected tragedy before they were done filming. After leaving an awards ceremony Paul Walker (Brian O’Conner) and a friend were killed in a car wreck (the friend was driving). It was very clear from the response of the cast and crew that they had all gotten very close, and were crushed by the loss of their friend.

But this forced some story alterations. I doubt their plan was to send Brian out of the series. But now they had to adjust the story to do that. With help from Paul’s twin brother they filmed some final shots. The final moments are full of heavy comments about not saying good-bye and how things are never going to be the same. They are clearly paying their respects to Walker, which is both understandable and touching. But it does make things a little awkward.

Paul Walker has passed away, but Brian and Mia are just done with adventuring and are going to raise their kids. Yet, each character speaks as if they will never see Brian and Mia again.

Overall, while not quite as strong as Fast Five or Fast & Furious 6, Furious 7 is still a lot of fun…and it could have made a nice finale for the franchise.

July 31, 2017 0

Ghosts With Tattoos (the Ghosts of Mars, 2001)

In the future, the terraforming of Mars has begun There are colonies all over Mars. The world is now a Matriarchy. A police force is sent to Mars to transfer prisoner Desolation Williams. They arrive to find the town empty except for some folks in lock up, including Desolation. He and the others have no real answer for what is happening.

They soon discover that there may be more to it than a murder spree. The ghosts of Mars indigenous population are taking over the bodies of earthlings. Melanie Ballard is a tough space cop and finds herself aligned with Williams, who proclaims his innocence in the murders of countless colonists. While she believes he is not a killer, she believes in following her orders and bringing him in, but survival requires them to wait on that and work together. The spirits or organisms (whatever they are) take over people…in stage one they stare intensely at their hands. Then they start mutilating themselves. Then they get violent.

The exploration of the mystery gets slow at times, and there is a lot of running around that feels like padding for the story. The film is bloody and violent when not being slow and expository.

The story is basically told in flashback with Ballard giving testimony about what happened. Then there are the flashbacks in flashbacks. This gets tiring fast as characters show up to tell Ballard what she missed.

In addition, the acting is fairly weak in most cases and nothing is to compelling. The reveal of the cause it a twist that neither surprises nor adds to the situation.

It is interesting to note that the film started as Escape From Mars, a Snake Plissken tale. The studio got a bit uncomfortable with a third Escape film and opted to have Carpenter change up the story.

There is no telling if Escape From Mars would have been a better film than Ghosts of Mars, but this is easily the worst of Carpenter’s work.

October 21, 2016 0