Golden Boy (The Golden Voyage of Sinbad, 1973)

Sinbad_Golden_PosterWhile at sea, Sinbad happens upon a golden tablet that he decides to wear as an amulet. During the night, his ship is hit with a storm and Sinbad has a dream of a man dressed in black and a beautiful woman.  He and his crew find themselves near Marabia.  There he is met by a man who wants the amulet.  After a chase, Sinbad meets the Grand Vizier who wears a Golden Mask to conceal his deformed face. He tells Sinbad about the tablet, that it is only part of a larger puzzle that will reveal a map to the Foutain of Destiny.

The mysterious cloaked man, Prince Koura also seeks the fountain, for nefarious purposes. Sinbad agrees to help the Visier.  Before they leave, he meets Margiana-the beautiful woman from his dream. Her master wants him to hire his son, and Sinbad agrees on the condition that Margiana goes with them.

As they try and reach the Fountain, Koura uses dark magic to try and interfere with Sinbad’s journey.  However, this has a side effect of draining his lifeforce.

The Golden Voyage of Sinbad is, on the one hand, great fantasy fun.   It features the art of Harryhausen, with fantastical monsters and magical adventure.

On the other hand, it falls into the grand Hollywood tradition of brownface.  Featuring John Phillip Law as Sinbad, facing off against Doctor Who’s Tom Baker, the cast is largely white actors playing characters of middle eastern heritage.  While it is hard to complain about the casting of the beautiful Caroline Munro as Margiana, the character is rather thin in development.

It is mainly the visual elements of the Golden Voyage that make it enjoyable, as the story is a rather standard quest.

Fear of Santa Claus Pt 9 (Don’t Open Til Christmas, 1984)

dont_open_posterThe same year we got Silent Night Deadly Night, we got Don’t Open Til Christmas.  Unlike all the films we have seen here so far, this British film is not about a killer Santa.  It is about a killer of Santas.

Basically, anyone in a Santa suit is a target.  Every now and then, the killer strikes in some gruesome way…but the majority of the film is the police investigation and the daily life of one of the victims’ daughter.  And these moments are painfully slow.

It is real simple.  If your slasher film is painfully boring?  You messed up.  And boy is this film boring.  Even the lead up to the attacks lack any tension.  You see a Santa and the guy in the mask is going to kill him.  We never get to know any of the Santas, making it hard to connect with the film’s intended victims.  The killer is not going after the people we know in the film.

This is one dull affair, and if you need to fall asleep on Christmas Eve?  This might do the trick.

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