Slash the Patriarchy (Black Christmas, 2019)

Black_Christmas_PosterWelcome to Christmas time at Hawthorne College. As people are getting ready to leave for break, sorority girls are disappearing. Riley is in her senior year and trying to still come to terms with being raped by a popular frat boy years earlier. She came forward and was not believed.  Her best friend Kris is a crusading feminist, leading the cause to get the literature Professor fired.  This has the girls a bit on the outs with the male class.  It is made all the worse when at a party, the girls call out Riley’s rapist publicly.

The second remake of the Bob Clark classic avoids the biggest mistakes of the previous remake by really not being a remake at all. This is a new take with a different type of killer.

Other than a sorority and a college setting, there is little in common with Bob Clark’s original or the previous remake.  And there are some real positives.

I really enjoyed the chemistry of the leads.  I was able to buy their friendships.  There are some great visuals taking full advantage of the college’s architecture and setting. And the adding of the gender politics angle is not as obtrusive as some one think (the irony being the folks most offended by the film are already echoing the villains).  The film is pretty basic feminist theory, the kind that rankles guys like Stefan Molyneux. So, yeah, if you are set off by stuff like “the patriarchy” and references to “rape culture”?  I suppose that you might struggle with this film.

The biggest flaw is that male characters never feel fleshed out enough to make sense beyond their stereotypical frat boys.  The only exceptions are the boyfriend of sorority girl Marty, Nate and Landon… a polite love interest for Riley.  They are, throughout the film portrayed and decent guys.  Then there is Cary Elwes’ Professor Gelson.  He is a character that could have been a great bit of misdirection.  He is, after all, soft spoken and seemingly gentle. But the film also makes it clear from the start his bone to pick is related to the “Conflict of the Sexes”. And oddly, he just seems like such an empty character.

Overall, this is an okay slasher film. And if you are going to make more Black Christmas films? Maybe an anthology franchise of horror stories set at Christmas is the way to go. This is not a classic, (and face it, will be flattened by Jumanji the Next Level and Frozen 2) but it is a serviceable horror film.

Confusing Christmastime (Black Christmas, 2006)

blackchristmas_2006This movie is why people hate horror remakes.

Seriously, they tossed out the things that work and add in…uh, a backstory.  One of the most unnecessary back stories ever.  See, now the sorority house is Billy’s old house, and that is why Billy came back.

Except, now Billy is not alone.  Apparently his daughter/sister (don’t ask) is in the house and has been for awhile.  Cause somebody is killing the sorority girls while Billy is still locked in the asylum.  See, the film does not reveal the sister/daughter until after the killings begin, so it is totally confusing.

The film is just a mess, and truthfully, the cast is not all that memorable in their roles.  The characters are far more generic feeling. Bitchy Girl, Drunk Girl, Nice Girl, Weird Girl…the cast feels like it was culled from the WB.  Probably cause it was.

There is an added “eyeball torture” aspect and a happier ending.  Nothing added to the remake improves upon the original, and everything skipped is that much more noticeable.

Christmas Darkness (Black Christmas, 1974)

black_christmasHalloween is often cited as the father of the slasher genre.  But three years prior was Bob Clark’s Black Christmas.  If you are wondering why the name Bob Clark might sound familiar, there is a reason.  For about a decade, for 24 hours every Christmas, TNT aired back to back showings of Clark’s “A Christmas Story”.  Yeah, that guy who brought us a beloved holiday classic also gave us another, lesser known (but no less classic) holiday film.

Black Christmas is a little bit different in tone, of course.  It is set on Christmas Eve at a sorority house.  As the women engage in festivities, their house is plagued by an obscene caller who speaks in guttural cries.

The film is mainly focused on Jess (Olivia Hussey) who is pregnant, and set on having an abortion.  Her boyfriend, Peter (Keir Dullea), is dead set against it.  There is also a hunt for a young missing girl, and the first girl to die.  But nobody is sure if the sorority girls are running off or truly missing.

We the audience, of course, no better.  The killer is in the house, but what is his motive?  Why this house?  It is a mystery that the film never chooses to answer.  “Billy” has no origin story.  He just shows up and terrorizes the girls.  And it is an effective and unnerving choice.

Black Christmas is well acted, with great visuals.  Rather than focus on gore, it is focused on mood.  And it is powerful.  The film’s final shot as the credits begin to roll are chilling.  There is no music as the camera pulls away from the house.  Just a lone ringing telephone…

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