It Meets The Eye (Transformers, 2007)

When it was announced that there was a live action Transformers movie on the way, former kids everywhere rejoiced. Even when it was announced that Eye Candy & Explosions Master Michael Bay was directing the film, we did not let that stop our hopes for “Awesome”. The final product? Well, I guess it as as good as any Alien Robots That Turn Into Cars and Stuff movie could be.

Introducing us to Sam Witwicky…in the old cartoons there was a Witwicky, but if they are meant to be related or if it is just a fan service thing…I don’t know. Sam is a …uh…jittery and nervous kind of guy. He has his heart set on Mikaela…who hangs with a different crowd. Unfortunately robots who turn into cars totally interfere.

It is hard to sum the film up, as the cast is huge. HUUUUUGE. There are army guys, secret undercover agents. Sam’s overbearing parents. Hackers (Cute Blonde and antsy black guy). Racial Stereotypes abound. In some way, most of them come together and help the Autobots fight the Decepticons.

Bay hires a lot of actresses for their eye candy factor. When an attractive girl is on screen, the camera lingers as he makes her pose. I can just hear him telling Megan Fox as she is looking over a car engine “Lean forward a little more!” The Autobots came to earth to find the “All Spark” and we humans have been hiding it. Okay…that is the basic plot. Plus cleavage and explosions.

Remember that huge cast? One thing that blows my mind is how Bay can populate his films with solid actors. I mean, Armageddon had a cast made up almost entirely of indie movie actors and Bruce Willis. The script is not confusing, but it takes awhile to come together as a whole.

The robots look quite good. And it is fun that they cast Peter Cullen (Optimus Prime) and Charlie Adler (Starscream) reprise their roles from the 80’s cartoon. The film can be very exciting and it is a real effects spectacle. Light on plot and characterization, it may be okay for a mindless evening.

August 2, 2016 2

To Infinity And… (Star Trek Beyond, 2016)

In the third film since J.J. Abrams rebooted the Star Trek Universe, we get an original story. And really? It is quite a bit of fun. It begins a bit shaky with attempts to give us brief character moments that are not entirely effective. It is nice to see McCoy taking a bigger role then the last film, and more of a focus on the friendship of he and Jim. And hey, they are actually in the midst of their five year mission of exploration! The previous two films were set before that.

We find James T. Kirk having lost his way in the far reaches of space. Not literally, but spiritually. He is not alone, Spock is having a personal crisis regarding his role on the enterprise versus feeling of obligation to his fellow Vulcans. While visiting a space station, they are contacted by an unfamiliar species, a captain who begs for help for her stranded ship. The Enterprise takes her out only to be attacked and (in the long standing tradition of Trek) destroyed. To be honest, this sequence gets a little boring as it seems endless and kind of confusing. But when the crew lands and is dispersed on a nearby planet, the film kicks into gear.

I was skeptical of bringing a director of the Fast and Furious (admittedly director of some of the best films in the franchise) in to direct. But Justin Lin shows a lot of skill at making an energetic sci-fi film. The villain’s full motives are mysterious at first, but when revealed it all falls into place.

Everyone’s performances are true to form and this feels like an action packed version of the original crew. It is not that much deeper than the previous two installments, but it is far more effective in it’s story telling. Personally, I found the interaction between Spock and McCoy tremendously enjoyable. they had nice moments of expression of concern and admiration as well as some entertaining banter. Kirk’s “ladies man” persona is downplayed in this film, he never even hits on Jaylah, the pretty alien girl.

If ranking the Altered Timeline films, I would say Beyond is easily the best as it hits it’s marks. The villain is a strong and compelling threat (something the previous entries suffered at) and the villains plan at least makes sense and is not entirely dependent on complete coincidence. Okay, maybe a slight coincidence. But I enjoyed Star Trek Beyond, and enjoyed it very much.

July 23, 2016 0

Theeeeeeey’re Back (Independence Day: Resurgence, 2016)

Twenty Years between sequels is a long time. There has been longer, but twenty years is nothing to sneeze at. The reviews that proceed me have been harsh, many suggesting that this is the worst film of the summer. But honestly? It’s an OK film. There are some decent quips. The effects are good. Goldblum slips into his role pretty seamlessly. Spiner pops back up and gets a beefed up role. Bill Pullman is the tortured Ex-President. Sela Ward is thr tough current president. Replacing Will Smith’s Captain Steven Hiller is his son Dylan Hiller (Jessie T. Usher). He is apparently annoyed with Jake (Liam Hemsworth) for almost killing him (accidentally) a few years before. Jake is the hotshot risk taker who saves the moon base (but getting no thanks for it). He is also engaged to President Whitmore’s now grown daughter Patricia (Maika Monroe), who works for the current President and is a former pilot. Then there is Floyd (Nicholas Wright, also one of the writers). He is in love with Rain Lao (Angelababy) the top Chinese pilot. Towards the beginning of the film, we are also introduced to Warlord Dikembi Umbutu (Deobia Oparei) and the standard sparring love interest for Goldblum, Catherine Marceaux (Charlotte Gainsbourg). If this seems like a long introductory paragraph? It is a lot longer in the film.

One of the big problems this film has? So much of the personal conflict feels entirely unnecessary. The conflict between Dylan and Jake could be removed entirely and not impact the film at all. Their relationship would not be lessened without it. What makes it worse is that really, the new character lack charisma and have terrible lines. The quips in the film are largely duds.

The movie follows the first film’s formula pretty closely. We spend an hour being introduced, or re-introduced to the leads (or at least, it feels like a long slow hour). We get a lot of destruction as the ship arrives. An “exciting” battle that fails, heroes stuck in the alien ship, heroes flying alien ship. A road trip with Judd Hirsch. Sure, some it is a bit jumbled around and it is all amped up a bit, because, well, it is a sequel.

The creature design is surprisingly pedestrian. The Alien Queen is suspiciously like the Alien Queen from Aliens, especially in her movements. The world building is a bit lazy. Yeah, they have alien technology, but it seems to be mostly applied to weapons and vehicles. How does it change other things? Communication technology seems to basically be smart phones, laptops and tablets. The world has been united since 1996, and I guess there might be some plausibility there, but the world is basically America, except for the continent of Africa, still run by Warlords.

The film also just ends very weirdly. No big speech, Spiner just runs into frame to set up the next film. And the screen goes black. So, no, this is not the worst movie of the summer (surely we cannot make such a claim seven days into summer). It is not the best either. It is an okay and underwhelming sequel.

June 27, 2016 0

Taking Our Planet Back (Independence Day, 1996)

24 Year old Me Reviews Independence Day: OMG! That was awesome! Cool Effects, funny quips. Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum was great! Bill Pullman plays the Version of a Democratic President Dean Devlina and Roland Emmerich wish Clinton was! Cool movie! Everyone should see it.

20 Years Later Me Reviews Independence Day: Ehhhhhhh…this is a pretty dumb flick. But in a weird way? That is part of it’s charm. Will Smith plays his standard Cocky Hero Guy, Jeff Goldblum is his standard nervous idealist guy, Bill Pullman is THE PRESIDENT, Randy Quaid is a version of his Uncle Eddie character (a version more deeply consumed by alcoholism), Mary McDonnell is the woman who must die to give Bill Pullman resolve (er, the First Lady) and Judd Hirsch plays Old Jewish Stereotype.

Visually, this film holds up pretty well. Considering it relies on practical effects as digital (as Digital Effects were still in their infancy) the destruction still looks convincing. The dogfights hold up and the aliens look quite good.

The writing is broad in the film. Folks speak in quips and dramatic phrases. Sometimes, as with Goldblum and Smith, this is effective. They carry the burden of most of the humor, Though Brent Spiner (Star Trek’s Data) shows up briefly to play an amusing and socially awkward Area 51 Scientist. Pullman plays earnest and plays it well. There is a speech in the film that could have gone off the rails, but his delivery makes it seem better than it is.

Of course, the “Rah Rah America” gets overbearingly embarrassing. The whole world was apparently sitting around waiting on America to come up with a plan to fight back against the aliens. There is a moment where a British guy tells another soldier that the Americans have a plan and he pretty much says “It’s about time”. The inspirational message to the world in the film? We are all America.

The overall cheesiness and goofy nature of the film does work to the film’s favor and it is the times when it takes itself to seriously that it feels like it will fall apart. And even 20 years later it can be fun to watch, especially for the visual effects and the main performances. And no matter who is in office, there are always going to be people happy to see the White House blown to bits.

June 26, 2016 0

The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea Part3 (The Abyss, 1989)

Before Terminator 2, James Cameron made the Abyss. As with almost every film he makes, he introduced revolutionary technology. Without the Abyss (and it’s now simple “Water Tentacle”, we may not have seen any of the other revolutions in digital effects that followed).

But it is not the effects that make this film a joy to watch. It is the storytelling. Ed Harris and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio play estranged husband and wife Virgil (nicknamed Bud) and Lindsey Brigman. They seem to be on the outs, but it is clear throughout the film, neither is truly ready to give up on the other. They run an underwater mining rig and their crew is a raggedy band.They joke, argue and love each other like a weird mismatched family. They are asked by the government to help Navy Seals get access to a nuclear sub that has crashed in mysterious circumstances.

In addition, the crew starts to experience strange phenomena, such as bright pink lights in the water and strange water formations indicating a greater intelligence at work. They end up discovering something amazing, but at great personal risk.

Harris and Mastrantonio are superb in their roles and really sell a great and deep love between each other. Michael Beihn’s performance as a Navy Seal struggling with serious paranoia issues adds the real element of danger. Cameron manages to give us a film with relationships that feel worn and very real. The story has both grit and beautiful wonder. It is tense at time, romantic at other and inspiring and hopeful.

Now, the theatrical version leaves out some big stuff, and so I recommend checking out the longer Director’s Cut which gives a bit more heft to the end of the film. This is one of Cameron’s gems, even if it got kind of lost in the collection of films. Why the Blu-Ray release is so delayed is genuinely confounding to me.

February 24, 2016 2

The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea Part 2 (Leviathan, 1989)

Also in 1989, we were treated to Leviathan. This was set at a deep sea mining facility. Getting close to rotating out, they discover a sunken ship called the Leviathan. In hopes of claiming riches, they brink back a safe. But the safe just contains video tapes and a bottle of vodka.

The next morning, one of the crew is struck ill and dies. But this is only the beginning, as the mysterious disease that killed the man seems to be actively altering his body. Soon, a another crew member dies. After the Doctor (Richard Crenna) confirms no other crew have symptoms, he and Crew Boss Beck (Peter Weller) decide to get rid of the bodies. But before they can, it fights back. While trying to get rid of it, part of the body is sliced off and continues to grow while the crew is unaware.

The film is basically Alien underwater. The crew uses flame throwers to move around and fight it through labyrinthine hallways. They monster knocks off the various crew members until only a few remain.

This is a great cast. Weller was fresh off Robocop, you had Ghostbuster’s Ernie Hudson, Amanda Pays , Richard Crenna and Daniel Stern in pivotal roles. Then there are the effects. It is obvious this was made on a tight budget and a tight time frame. The Creature Effects were overseen by the Stan Winston Studio. This team included Tom Woodruff Jr. and Alec Gillis who now run Amalgamated Dynamics, Inc.They manage to create a fearsome looking creature, in spite of not being given a specific design to work with. The director wanted a kitchen sink approach which results in the monster being somewhat of a mess, but it still work quite well most of the time.

If the only two movies that came out in 1989 about undersea crews fighting a monster were Leviathan and Deepstar Six? Leviathan is flat out the better film, in part due to it sticking so closely to the Alien Formula. But 1989 saw one other film which broke new special effects ground and left these two films in the dust.

The director George P. Cosmatos followed this film up with Tombstone. Really.

February 23, 2016 0

The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea Part 1 (Deep Star Six, 1989)

1989 saw three competing sci-fi/horror films. One stood out above the other two, but we will get to that one later.

First up is Sean Cunningham’s Deep Star Six. Cunningham was known primarily for producing and directing the first Friday the 13th. He is probably more well known for his producer credits.

It is the story of an underwater nuclear test facility. One morning they discover an underwater cavern. it apparently housed a whole underwater ecology of it’s own…and it sets free a large creature that starts working it’s way through the crew. The creature turns out to be a large and ancient crab-like beast. It damages the sea base, forcing the remaining crew to figure out a way to decompress and then take them to the surface. oh, and the creature stands between them and the only remaining way to get to the surface.

While the effects are decent, there is nothing that this film offers in chills or scares. It’s most redeeming quality is that it has a pretty good cast. It is loaded with talented character actors. And Greg Evigan (who seemed like he would be on a big star path before he joined the Tekwar Franchise) is pretty likable as the fish out of water, so to speak. but the film itself is only memorable in that it was competing for audiences against two other films with similar concepts in the same year.

February 22, 2016 0

Science Gone Mad Part 2 (Wierd Science, 1985)

John Hughes’ juvenile take on Mary Poppins and genies should really be more problematic than it often is.

Released in 1985, the film pandered to boyish nerd fantasies. It focuses on downtrodden super nerds Wyatt and Gary. Both are obsessed with girls while being relentless humiliated by bullies. It is, of course a common trope meant to garner sympathy. Anthony Michael Hall had not yet broken free of the nerd role established in Sixteen Candles. The same year Weird Science was released, Hall was in Hughes’ the Breakfast Club with a bit more thoughtful approach to this type of character. But his Gary is in the Nerd Who Wants to Be Popular vein.

So when so when his best friend Wyatt’s family is out of town for a weekend, the hijinks begin. Truthfully, Ilan Mitchell-Smith’s Wyatt is more sympathetic. He is steamrolled by everyone. He is less concerned about being popular than just succeeding and getting the girl.

To try and figure out their problems with girls, they decide to put their genius to use and create a girl to question on their computer. It all gets out of hand and somehow they manage to create a real woman. Kind of. Kelly LeBrock’s Lisa is a teen boy’s fantasy woman in every sense. Forward, sexy and she has magic powers. Somehow, they created a genie. And she is eager to please her masters. And this is where it should get tremendously troubling. Except, they are not confident of their role. Instead, Lisa takes over and starts making their decisions for them. She takes the stands they are scared to take. She takes them out on the town. She throws a party. She is protective of Gary and Wyatt, but wants to push them to be more assertive and not run away from adversity to cower in the bathroom.

The film certainly has it’s fun moments, and it has a good cast that help make it easier to ignore just how absurd the plot is. Bill Paxton as Wyatt’s jerk big brother Chet is especially memorable, including his comeuppance. But it also has some dull stretches. The jokes are often hit or miss. The party sequence is just bizarre, with an endless parade of absurd ideas for showing off effects.

All in all, this one of Hughes weaker efforts. It is mindless fun, but the heart that should be there is missing.

February 18, 2016 0

Science Gone Mad Part 1 (My Science Project, 1985)

1985 was a big year for Teen Science Nerd films. I will be reviewing the three films over the next three days. Today, we start with director John Betuel’s My Science Project. Betuel wrote the classic Sci-Fi film the Last Starfighter and he wrote this film, which would give one real hope.

The cast is a combination of well known (Dennis Hopper, Richard Masur and Barry Corbin) combined with “up and Comers” (Danielle Von Zerneck, John Stockwell and Fisher Stevens). The plot is simple. The film opens a few decades before the film actually takes place. An alien ship is shot down. The military opts to have everything destroyed. Jump ahead to 1985 and we meet high school student Michael Harlan (who has gone on to direct films such as Blue Crush, Into the Blue and Turistas) and his buddy Vince (Played by Fake Indian Fisher Stevens). His science teacher Bob, an aging hippie pining for the 60’s played appropriately by Dennis Hopper, is after him about his science project. He needs to pass science class. He is not scientifically inclined, rather more mechanical. He is a car guy. After his girlfriend and he break up over an article in Cosmo, he is asked out by nerd Ellie (Danielle von Zerneck). Begged, really.

Michael takes her on a date, but it is really a cover so he can go through a military junkyard for a makeshift science project. He finds a glowing orb that he takes with him. Long story short, it is a battery that bends time and space. It starts to suck power, reaching out for more and more powerful sources.

John, Ellie, Vince and additional nerd Sherman (Raphael Sbarge) try and stop the orb from ultimately destroying space and time as we know it. The film is pretty messy, and it does not make a whole lot of sense. Unlike the tightly scripted The Last Starfighter, My Science Project seems to be wandering around trying to figure out where it is going. Dennis Hopper’s Bob is fairly entertaining, but he gets removed from the story about a third of the way in and does not reappear until the end of the story.

The film has big ideas, but nothing solid really materializes, making the film largely average and forgettable.

February 17, 2016 0

Love and Deception (Ex Machina, 2015)

Alex Garland’s Ex Machina is is a dark tale of amoral scientists and their creation. Nathan (Oscar Isaac, playing a very different role than Poe Dameron) is a brilliant scientist who has created a mechanical person he has named Ava (Alicia Vikander). He has brought Caleb (Domhnall Gleeson) in to test the quality and authenticity of Ava’s A.I.

Through a series of interviews, Caleb starts to become confused about his feelings. Is he falling in love with Ava? Is This the real intention of Nathan? Or does he have another goal for Ava?

The film is very dialog heavy, mostly we sit through conversations between Caleb and Ava or Caleb and Nathan. As the film unfolds and more is revealed, thing become darker and darker. Intended or not, there is something being said about scientific culture and it’s view of women, but I cannot speak more on any theory without revealing some big twists in the plot.

The art direction and design in the film is beautiful. Ava is clearly mechanical, and yet looks lovely, making her ability to draw a person in believable, even though only portions of her are covered with a synthetic skin.

The three primary actors give solid performances. Isaac’s egotistical Nathan moves from merely appearing to full of himself to darkly detached from humanity. Vikander has a cold humanity. You know what emotions she is expressing, but they seem slightly off. Domnhall gives a strong performance as a bright guy who finds himself feeling more and more like a devastated pawn.

This is a good film that builds very quietly to a dark and tragic finale.

February 3, 2016 0