Beware the Monestary (Catacombs, 1988)

400 years ago, the monks at the Abbey at San Pietro trapped a demon in their basement, sealing it in a small room. In the present, an attractive young teacher on a visit from America stays at the Abby. There is a restoration going on, and I think we all know what that means.

The demon is going to get set free. Strange occurrences begin shortly after the teacher arrives. Of course, while the monks are aware of the stories of the demon buried beneath, most of them have written it off as legend as well.

They realize, too late of course, that it is not merely a mythical tale. Soon monks start dying, while Father John (Timothy Van Patton) and the teacher Elizabeth (Laura Schaefer) get closer. The film has a final showdown between Father John and Satan/The Beast that is mostly talking and Father John getting punched by invisible fists.

One of the high points is the portrayal of the monks. They are friendly and kind, and with one exception avoid being mere stereotypes. Ian Abercrombie’s Brother Orsini is a gentle and generous man. Timothy Van Patton plays a priest struggling with doubt, trying to find answers at the abbey. He is not finding the answers, and struggles even more watching an older monk nearing death. He wants to feel a passion for his calling, but it is not there. Jeremy West’s Brother Marinus is the weak connection, as he seems to see evil in the young woman for being a woman.

At times, Catacombs moves rather slowly. While not a particularly scary film, the director David Schmoeller makes great use of his setting. The Catacombs are certainly eerie. There are several nice creative choices (a bleeding flower, fire and candles are prominent, a sequence where a Jesus statue comes to life). The music is clearly influenced by the Omen series, relying on chant inspired choirs. While the film seems to be aiming high for Exorcist territory, it ultimately never quite reaches that level. It is a moderately entertaining film that makes a real effort. Even if it does not fully succeed, it certainly gets credit for the sincerity.

October 19, 2015 0

Dark Places (Cellar Dweller, 1988)

1988’s Cellar Dweller is a direct to video horror flick that remain pretty largely forgotten. I actually remember seeing it on video store shelves, but never got around to renting it. And when DVD exploded, among the many films that made the transition, this was not one.

It tells the tale of a young art student, Whitney Taylor (Debrah Farentino), who is attending an art institute that is located in the former home of her favorite comic book artist. 30 years prior, Colin Childress (Jeffrey Combs) realized his imagination was coming to life…as he drew horror comics, this could be bad news. He set fire to cellar to destroy what his mind brought forth.

Whitney discovers his work in the cellar and begs the woman running the institute, Mrs Briggs (Yvonne De Carlo) to set up shop in the seller. Briggs seems to not care for Whitney and sends her rival Amanda (an aspiring journalist) to spy on her.

As people start to die at the hands of the monster in Whitney’s and Childress’ art, Whitney confronts Mrs. Briggs, certain that she has it out for her (and rightly so). But soon, the demon in the comics seems to take over, beyond the control of Whitney’s imagination.

The film relies heavily on comic art, which frankly is not that impressive. Also, watching Jeffrey Combs in the beginning inking already fully inked art makes it pretty obvious he was not an artist…he moves his hands like someone pretending to conduct music. The jumps between Whitney drawing and the monster killing victims is awkward, because there is no way she would pencil and ink at the pace of the monster’s killing.

There is also an odd choice to use cartoonish sound effects during scenes where the monster is killing people. It detracts from the moment.

The monster is pretty decent looking considering when the film was made. This is not to surprising, as director John Carl Buechler started as an effects guy, and a pretty solid one. The monster actually was recognizable as a Buechler creation (and looks not unlike something from his films Ghoulies 3: Choulies Go to College or Troll).

The films biggest downfall is in the story. It is an interesting concept that gets downright confusing in the end. Did she create her fellow students? Is she killing them? Is it the monster feeding off her imagination? With a better script (the film is written by Chucky creator Don Mancini) that put the concept to stronger use this might not have been a film that fell between the cracks of horror history.

Shout! Factory has released the film on Blu-Ray and DVD as part of a double feature set. There are no bonus features for the film. The HD transfer came from a single remaining print from a private collection, so the picture is not perfect, but it still looks quite good.

October 19, 2015 0

The Revenge of Blood Cult (Revenge, 1986)

This sequel picks up where we left off…the Sheriff’s daughter jumped off a roof…and apparently the Sheriff has lost his marbles. How do I know? The Deputy states this twice.

A reporter asks if this was a work of a Blood Cult. Let me rephrase that… a really stupid reporter asks if this was a work of a Blood Cult. I know she is stupid because she jumps into a car with the leader of the Blood Cult. He was brushing her off until she asked about the Blood Cult, then he asked her if she wanted to join him in the car. When does she catch on? After the leader hands her an amulet and asks leading questions about how much she knows? No. After he drives past her stop? No. After he makes a cryptic comment about her having trouble convincing her editor? No. After he drives down a Dark Alley? No. After a cop asks her to step out of the car? No. After said cop stabs her in the Dark Alley? Yes.

Roll Credits!

The first thing I noticed? This actually looks like it was filmed traditionally. No video cameras. It instantly seems classier.

The old couple with the headless dog from the last movie have a new dog. A little cockapoo or something. No one ones to behead one of those yapping little dogs. Anyways, they hear noises in their sheds. Then the Blood Cult kills them. Apparently, the title Revenge refers to the Blood Cult is going to go after all the people who wronged them. This leads to five minutes of aerial shots following a car driving to a cemetery.

This movie has John Carradine. That does not necessarily mean anything. But I thought it was noteworthy. But this follows the same M.O. as the last one. Killer chops people up. They die of stab wounds and blood loss. One memorable kill? A guy on a motor cross bike takes out a pickup truck. I think. The scene just ends, and we go to the Sheriff, who lost his marbles, and the proof? He speaks to invisible Senators taking a stand against dogs.

Best moment? Government employees complaining about the Blood Cult’s screening policies. That and they are running out of Monk Robes.

Dean Beatty:”I joined this cult for the advances and the advantages you promised me. Not to be a party to some sort of Murder Incorporated!”

Senator:”Hell’s bells, Beatty…you think you’re the only one who wants to get ahead in this world?”

Then they kill the Dean for denying the god Caninus. Then we learn that the guy on the motorbike did not actually kill the person in the truck, because she is safe at home…until she starts getting hang up calls. The Motorbike guy shows up again at the farm and the old lady scares him away, because it really pisses her off when he starts to pop a wheelie on the lawn.

We then get fifteen minutes of teens necking in the hot tub before the boy pulls out a really big knife and stabs the girl to death. This leads to a great scene where a guy discovers the body and calls in the murder with a fake french accent.

At the big Caninus meeting in the woods they prepare a sacrifice. They are raising their leader from the dead to lead an army to destroy the unbelievers. They went on to form Al Queda. They create an evil warrior out of the sister of one of the heroes. She is an unstoppable warrior, but she sure is not pretty. The old lady shoots a log which causes a series of explosions that scares away most of the cult member and causes the indestructible warrior to…vanish. This leaves the local Doctor by himself, until they shoot him and he ceases to exist. But then we learn that one of the heroes is actually a member of the cult and he suckered the old lady into helping he and the Senator get rid of the Doctor . But the Old Lady doesn’t give in to the Cult’s temptations and shoots the two final cult members dead…or DID she???

“Thanks for being such a classy sister.” Yeah…the writing has not improved. The acting is slightly better. The film making is completely static. We still get ten minute shots from one perspective. Missing, however, is all that damn narration…this is mostly due to the fact that the Sheriff lost his marbles and is utterly useless as a narrator. In the end? This was a pretty pathetic offering. Maybe it is a little better than the first one…but we call that damning with faint praise.

October 18, 2015 0

VHS Cult (Blood Cult, 1985)

So, I watched the movie Blood Cult. It claims to be the first direct to video feature length film. I didn’t realize this meant “Shot on VHS in Mom’s Basement”. I mean, Charles Band could afford actual film.

The movie begins at a sorority house (read the house of someone the filmmaker is friends with) where a sort of cute co-ed is taking a shower. Because that’s what the ladies do in college. Take showers, get lathered up, wait for homicidal maniacs with meat cleavers. She hears a noise and opens her door only to find said Maniac . She slowly shuts the door, and he gently swings the meat cleaver, because we don’t want anyone getting hurt here. But he manages to splatter blood all over.

The campus the film sits on appears to be a local community college (with stock footage of a more ivy league style college). And that night a young co-ed is brutally murdered…when the maniac hit’s her over the head with a severed head from the shower girl. I have to give them credit for that. It’s almost up there with a football with a sword attached.

The Sheriff narrates the film. And he narrates a lot. I really thought he needed to shut up and do his work. People stumble through their dialog, making mistakes and just correcting themselves-like bloopers the director forgot to remove. He’s running for elected office, and is informed by one of his government higher ups that there better be no more killing. And uckily, there isn’t. The rest of the movie is all about his campaign.

Just kidding. There is another killing the very next scene.

The Sheriff apparently is not real good at this whole detective stuff, but thankfully his daughter, who works in the college library knows her way around the Occult Books section. The Sheriff asks his deputy if he has any theories…his deputy responds with “Who…ME?” The Sheriff asks if the deputy thinks maybe is is a Dungeons and Dragons thing. His Deputy likes that idea, but apparently never followed it up.

There is actually a scene where we see a house and a large brick barn…we hear a woman calling out to their barking dog telling it to get in the house. However, we do not see either the dog or the woman. We hear the dog whimper. Then the woman asked her husband(?) to check on the dog. This is when we finally see our first person in the scene…and he walks into the picture from somewhere other than the house. He calls for his wife to bring a shovel. He seems very casual that his dog is dead and headless. I guess that he has had a lot of dogs whose heads dropped off and disappeared.

The Sheriff is called out by the family, but they do not tell him about the dead dog until about ten minutes of talking. See, she totally buries the lead. One night the Sheriff goes into the woods and discovers a Blood Cult that worships dogs or something…at this point I don’t really care. His daughter was part of the cult, and then he wakes up in the hospital with no real memory of the Blood Cult.

The Doc tells the Sheriff that the autopsies revealed all the people died from multiple stab wounds…and loss of blood. Then he makes a comment about liking dogs and leaves the room. This is followed up by a fifteen minute stakeout in which the Sheriff parks his car blatantly in front of his daughter’s sorority house and looks through the windows with a pair of binoculars. Really, we should be relieved that he speeds things up by looking at his watch and reciting the time, rather than actually have to watch him sit there for six hours eating a sandwich and watching the sorority house.

He hears a crash, runs inside and finds someone in a Dog mask killing his daughter’s boyfriend…he rips the mask off to discover his daughter (whom he tells, “You weren’t brought up to do this sort of thing!!!”). Apparently the entire town is part of the Blood Cult. His daughter Tina runs away, climbs to the top of a building and has a nervous breaks down before leaping to her death.

But WAIT! Tina suddenly opens her eyes and smiles..then the credits roll.

It would be far to generous to call the acting in this film bad. There are lots of people pulling Home Alone Screams. Stiff delivery. Really stiff, Ben Affleck is animated compared to this. And shockingly, for many of these actors? This was indeed one of their only films. This and the sequel.

This movie contains dialog like “We were dealing with a serial killer. Who would most likely strike again. Probably on Campus. ” And not to mention “The medical examiner, Hans White, was being sloppy.” A guy mentions that there was another murder to the Sheriff(and then says, “But you probably already knew about that, huh?”), who simply says, “Yeah I know about it.”

The credits inform us this was filmed on Sony Beta Cam…wow…a victim of the format war. It’s also worth noting that the film thanks Coca Cola Bottlers of Tulsa, Jerry’s Camper World and “Doctor’s Hospital.” I think that says it all. That and there was (again) a sequel. Oh, and this disc has a bunch of special features. But Phantasm II hit DVD and has none. That says it all.

October 18, 2015 0

Spoilers to Destroy the Tension (High Tension, 2003)

High Tension seems like one of those films where every shot had the creators thinking about how edgy and gritty they were being. And shocking. We’re gonna shock you! Lots of blood spraying, our lead sitting on a bed masturbating! We’re gonna shock you, baby!

And maybe the shocks would work if the story was not such a convoluted mess. It makes zero sense. Early on we are treated to a sleazy guy in his run down service truck getting oral sex. The shocker is that he starts the van and drops a woman’s severed head out the van window. So, we have a psycho sexual killer established. We also get introduced to the female lead… a young woman who awakes from a dream where she is hunting herself. Ooooo…foreshadowing. They get to her friend’s remote farm home for the weekend. We establish our heroine doesn’t seem to have much time for boys, while her friend maybe has to much. So, I am going to spoil the crap out of this film (I also spoil the Sixth Sense and Fight Club).

They get to her friend’s house and go straight to bed. Later in the night the run down van drives up to the front door. When the friend’s father answers the door, his face is bashed in. He sputters why as he crawls up the stairs. The large brutish character takes it a step further and beheads the father. The mother is dispatched by a near beheading while our heroine hides in the closet. After the brute leaves, she goes to the mother’s side in tears, and the mother asks “Why?” and dies (more foreshadowing). Our heroine stumbles upon her good friend who is tied up and gagged. Our lead hears the little brother outside. She goes to the window and sees the brute wander through the field until he finds and shoots the boy.

She keeps promising to help her friend. Eventually, the brute loads the friend into the truck and drives away, unaware that he carries an additional passenger. He stops to get the truck gassed up and our lead slips out into the gas station. She asks the clerk for help and then has to hide as the psycho walks in. Of course, after chatting with the clerk, he kills him. The heroine stays hidden, watching the killer use the restroom, worried he will see her. She waits for him to leave, but waits to long. She gets out to the parking lot to see the truck pulling away.

So she steals a car and pursues him-after calling in the police. She decides it may be obvious that she is pursuing, backs off only to find the truck seems to have vanished from the road-BUT WAIT!!! It’s behind her. She is run off the road. She crashes. She gets out of the car and is pursued by the brute. She hides in a little run down green house and has a bloody battle to the death with the psycho brute. It appears she has won. She runs back to the truck. In the mean time, we jump to the police, where the inspector is watching the surveillance camera…and here it comes…are you ready for the twist?

No brute walks in. Just the girl. And she is the one who plunges an ax into the heart of the attendant. We switch back to our heroine saving her friend-but her friend pulls a knife on her asking why she killed her family. Our heroine is confused, she saved her friend-killed the bad guy! What’s going on? Suddenly we see flashbacks. No brute…just her. She kills her friends dad. Her friend’s mom. Her friend’s little brother.

OH MY GOSH!!!!! SHE’S THE KILLER! She’s in love with her friend and is angry at her friend’s rejection in favor of boys! I NEVER SAW THIS COMING!!!

And you know why? Because the film is a mess. See, in Fight Club and the Sixth Sense, the big reveals cause you to look back through the movie. And it makes sense. Holy crap, no one BUT the kid sees Willis! No one saw Tyler Durden except Ed Norton! But it all fits together. Here, we have scene after scene establishing contact between the heroine and her friend several times where her friend is clearly aware she is in front of her…while the brute is nearby. He is driving the truck. He goes out and shoots the boy why she is with her friend. Plus, in Fight Club, which has a similar plot twist, you never see Tyler without Ed Norton. But here, you get shots of the brute right at the beginning…it establishes him as an entirely separate character at the beginning of the film. He comes to the door in the truck… the “heroine” road in her friend’s car to get there-where did the truck come from? I mean, it just doesn’t work.

This film is not even a great mess. Hear is a hint for film makers…a twist for the sake of twist is just annoying if it doesn’t fit into the rest of the film. And the “It’s all in their head!” twist is the worst of all if done incorrectly. Which is where this film fell completely apart.

October 17, 2015 0

Everybody’s An Orphan in Zombieland (Zombieland, 2009)

I cannot be objective about this film.

The main reason is that I had way to much fun. Visually, the movie has a great style. The humor is spot on. The performances are terrific. I had a terrific time.

The first thing that stands out is that the credits are as inspired as Watchman’s opening credits. As we see slow motion zombie carnage, the credits are appearing on the screen, they get knocked off the screen by the zombies and their victims all to Metallica’s For Whom the Bell Tolls. It really sets the tone for the film. Wait, no, it is the sequence in which Jesse Eisenberg explains his rules, which pop up on the screen. His main for rules are Cardio. You better be able to run. I am going to give them a pass on the fat joke here. Because I don’t care how you cut it…we fat people can run quickly in short bursts, but we would likely be the first to get picked off in a zombie apocalypse.

Then, avoid bathrooms (demonstrated humorously in a bit featuring Mike White). Next is seatbelts. Always wear your seatbelt. Finally, there is the double tap. This means you do not want to be stingy with the bullets. If you shoot a zombie-take em out in the head to be safe. Technically, Eisenberg’s list is comprised of 32 rules. The recurring of the rules popping up on the screen is both funny and a helpful reminder.

A great bit is the film’s emphasis on how people have survived by not forming new attachments and how this has actually been damaging. Nobody knows the names of the characters. They are referred to by where they are from. So Woody Harrelson is Tallahassee, while Emma Stone is Wichita, Eisenberg is Columbus and Breslin is Little Rock.

The cast really sells the movie. Personally I really like Emma Stone, who has been entertaining in even crappy films like the House Bunny. And Abigail Breslin is great as her younger sister. I cannot say too much about these two, because it will spoil some great moments in the film. Eisenberg is a self described shut in who has survived because he really had no earthly attachments before the zombie apocalypse. He gets joined by Tallahassee, a rather anti-social guy with a morbid sense of humor and a real hatred of zombies. And a Twinkie fetish.

This is a strong horror comedy, not unlike Shaun of the Dead, although Shaun of the Dead was much gorier. This surprised me, I mean, Zombieland is not…bloodless. But outside of the very beginning, there is not a lot of grizzly, gory deaths, since it is pretty much all zombies being taken down. The humor on tap here is at times morbid, but it works in the context of the film. Trying to describe the jokes just won’t work outside of seeing them in context. But if you liked Shaun of the Dead? You will more than likely enjoy Zombieland.

The soundtrack is a fun mix of heavy metal, alternative and country and it works.

I think my only real criticism? Jesse Eisenberg. Don’t get me wrong, within the movie, his character is effective. But there isn’t that much difference between, say, Columbus and James from Adventureland. Or Jimmy from Cursed. Eisenberg seems to be playing slight variations on the quirky loner who seeks love persona over and over. Schwarzenegger has had more range than this. But all in all? Zombieland is a keeper.

October 17, 2015 1

October Scares (The Houses October Built, 2014)

Every October there are haunted houses, haunted hayrides and fairground horror nights. But there is also a less glossy and more brutal fright experiences. The Houses October Built follows a cast of filmmakers looking for true scares. What we witness is how they stumble into a horrifying world full of people who have questionable sanity, who may even be homicidal.

When they first start showing up at the alternative house of horrors, they are told to leave the cameras off. And they of course do not…which starts a series of escalating horrors as they start to find they may have opened a dangerous Pandora’s Box of evil.

This is found footage, which can be an iffy prospect, but the filmmakers use it to build suspense. While the film takes a bit of time to build up, once the strangeness starts and goes pretty full throttle. The story line ends up being very engaging and disturbing. The makeup is chilling and unnerving.

The Houses October Built is a highly effective found footage film, I wish more of were in this vein.

October 16, 2015 0

Dig Deep (Digging Up the Marrow, 2015)

Ahhhh…the mock documentary. A branch of the horror found footage genre that seems to have an endless supply. On rare occasion, more familiar names from the industry get the itch to make them.

And so, Adam Green (Frozen, the Hatchet franchise) assembled Digging Up the Marrow.

The film follows Green as he and his cameraman Will Barratt prepare to make a documentary on real monsters hiding in our world. They are inspired on the journey by a letter from a fan named William Dekker (Ray Wise) who claims to know that monsters are real and how to see them.

The film opens with a montage of convention footage and people Tony Todd, Mick Garris, Don Coscarelli and a whose who of horror talking about monsters. Adam’s wife Rileah (playing herself, as everyone except Ray Wise is doing in the film) is concerned that Dekker is a crazed fan.

Upon finally sitting down for an interview, Green wonders if he is not dealing with a guy who has lost touch with reality. And their early forays of sitting out overnight results in rather bland footage, in spite of Dekker claiming to see things.

Then one night, as they are watching claims the monster is directly in front of their hiding spot, when Will turns on his camera light, they are startles (and startle) a creature. Dekker is upset about turning on the light, worried that the creatures will seal up and leave the area.

The deeper they go into exploring the Marrow (this is what Dekker calls the home of the monsters) the more confused Adam and Will become about what they have seen. Adams other endeavors (such as his show Holliston) start to suffer as he becomes more obsessed with the stories of Dekker (and who Dekker really is).

Adam becomes disillusioned a bit when Mick Garris and Tom Holland inform him that he is not the only horror director Dekker approached. He was under the impression he was unique, only to discover he was one of the last, and the first to bite.

When they dig deeper into who Dekker is, it becomes truly dangerous. There is something creepy about him, and Adam and Will decide to check out the Marrow without Dekker.

Ray Wise is very good in the film, and Adam Green plays Adam Green convincingly. The film is pretty effective and uses the fake documentary to entertaining effect. When it comes down to it, I really did enjoy this one. Green walks the fine line of showing just enough, but effectively using darkness obscure what we are seeing. The mystery of Dekker is intriguing.

The only real criticism I have is that the very end sequence is kind of confusing. It is unclear if it is to imply Green just got a terrifying wake up to a reality he should not have toyed with or if it is meant to imply he disappeared. I had to listen to the audio commentary on the Blu-Ray to be sure.

October 16, 2015 0

Generation Clash (the Wicker Man, 1973)

1973’s the Wicker Man, starring the late Edward Woodward and Christopher Lee is one of those hard to classify films. For one, while it is considered horror, it’s a movie lacking much carnage. The horrors center around the mystery and the struggles of young, repressed Police Sergeant Howie.

Beware of dreadful Spoilers…

Almost immediately, Sgt. Howie finds himself at odds with the locals, who initially refuse him access to Summerisle, a rather isolated Scottish island, as it is private property. Once he provides his reason, a letter he has received indicating a child has gone missing from the isle.

Howie is revealed to be a devout Catholic. He prays fervently, as we see flashbacks to him reading scripture and partaking in communion. This leads to one of the films more…silly…but memorable moments. Willow (Britt Ekland) lies in the room next to Howie’s singing a song to tempt Howie, putting his purity to the test. Howie struggles in his room to fight the temptation. Did I mention Ekland performs the entire scene naked?

Howie seeks to try and continue his investigation. When he goes to the local school, he becomes appalled (Howie is like a one man Catholic League). The teacher (Diane Cilento) is telling the children of the meaning of the penis in their worship. Howie runs into trouble when people claim the young girl never existed in the first place.

When Howie goes to the Summerisle library, the Librarian shows him the death records, but Rowan is not among them. He decides it is time to meet Lord Summerisle (Christopher Lee) at the Lord’s mansion. Howie is surprised to hear he is expected. While waiting, he looks out the window to see a small Stonehenge like set up where young people are frollicking naked. Summerisle enters and asks if Howie finds them refreshing, of course, he does not. Howie becomes more and more incredulous, asking how they function with a false religion. Know they nothing of Jesus? But Summerisle proclaims Jesus dead, and the old gods still living.

Howie can barely stand the things Summerisle tells him, giving the history of the island’s citizens turning from Christianity to the old pagan ways. That evening, when they go to exhume the body of Rowan so Howie can bring it back to determine the cause of death, they discover her casket contains, instead of the young girl’s body, that of a dead rabbit. The groundskeeper reacts not in shock, but laughter. Enraged, Howie returns to Summerisle. Miss Rose tries to say that the rabbit is Rowan. This further angers Howie.

Howie goes through pictures and is able to locate the missing image from the previous May Day celebrations. Unlike the other photos (all a young woman surrounded by the Harvest), Rowan is sitting sans harvest. Howie does some research and comes to a new conclusion.. Rowan is not dead, she is going to be the Mayday sacrifice because the crops failed.

Howie plans to take his plane to the mainland and bring back reinforcements. But his plane doesn’t start. He starts to search the island and spies the town members preparing for their May Day celebrations. They proclaim that the evening will bring a sacrifice. Howie decides to conduct a house to house search. The townspeople are surprising cooperative, but his end results are less than he had hoped for.

It is this clash of religions that makes the film so effective. The joyous celebration of Lord Summerisle and his people as their sacrifice burns is a frightening juxtaposition. The film is a mystery, with a heavy sense of dread pervading it. Is Rowan real? Is she dead? Watching Howie struggle to find the answers, and also dealing with his temptations, never realizing that he is being played for a fool creates a compelling tale. Woodward plays Howie both sympathetically and with a repressed rigidity that really sells the character. His devoutness is never in question. This is not the typical “Christian Hypocrite” of mainstream film. Howie is dedicated to his job and faith, and the film never makes light of this. Of course, not being some terrible hypocrite is really the point of the story. Even when he is angry, Howie maintains a sense of cool.

On his opposite is Lord Summerisle, whom Lee portrays as always calm. I am not sure he ever even gets angry, to be honest. He is a calm, gentle and confident man. It’s effective watching him and Howie, as Howie never seems able to offend him, but he can kindly get under Howie’s skin.

The three women most prominently featured in the story, seem to represent different ideals of the religion. Willow is the siren, Miss Rose is the educator and the Librarian the religion’s administrator.

Also notable is the use of music, you could easily argue this is a musical. The music is fun and folksy, very tied to the folk music of the British isles. It’s far more effective than one would expect, as these cheerful songs cover a dreadful truth.

One of the reasons the 2006 “re-imagining” of the film starring Nick Cage is such an abysmal failure is it does away with the fight between Paganism and Christianity. They replaced it with a poorly realized battle of the sexes and a tortured and flawed “hero.” Howie needs to be less “flawed” and more pure. Otherwise his character does not truly stand out from the citizens.

In the end, I consider this one of my favorite films, because it is horror, dark and foreboding without relying on cheap thrills and scares. It’s beautifully filmed, well acted, written and directed. It’s a film worth checking out.

One final note, but I am blocking it because it is a massive spoiler.

Continue reading “Generation Clash (the Wicker Man, 1973)” →

October 15, 2015 0

Got Religion? (Girls Gone Dead, 2012)

I kept my expectations pretty low for Girls Gone Dead. Considering the biggest names in the film are Beetlejuice (of Howard Stern fame) and Ron Jeremy, wrestler Jerry Lawler and Linnea Quigley (all in bit parts) I aimed pretty low for this one.

Jumping on the Girls Gone Wild craze about ten years to late, the film follows a young woman with a m0m to the right of Margaret White. The girl in question is going on Spring Break with her slutty friends. Once out of the house, everybody gets changed into their “I’m naughty” outfits and start partying.

Then a hooded killer with a medieval war-hammer shows up and starts killing people entirely at random. It ultimately turns out to be the girls really religious ex boyfriend and her mother.

The movie (which apparently needed two directors) is poorly acted, weak in script and general story and lacking a single original moment. I suspected as much going in. Why cover it? Because the film covers one of my least favorite thriller/horror tropes.

The Religious Killer. Not because it cannot be done well. John Doe in Fincher’s Se7en is positively chilling in his logic and reasoning. But the truth is, it is almost consistently done poorly. It is usually revealed that the killer is a sexually repressed deeply religious person. And they are always out to punish sexually active young people. Because, you know…virginity drives people homicidal…?

The reason John Doe worked is that he was not hung up on sex…he was hung up on the society’s lax and casual attitude towards sin. The religious killer in most films seems completely unconcerned about other sins. I am pretty sure most Christians believe murder is a sin, and do not make an exception for the sexually active crowd. Where are the religious killers obsessed with liars or people who cheat the poor? There are ways for it to be interesting, but filmmakers never seem to aim for interesting with this trope.

October 15, 2015 0