It Runs In the Family (Percy Jackson & the Olympians: the Lightning Thief, 2010)

Percy_Jackson_Lightning_Thief_PosterStudios are always on the hunt for their franchises.  And Harry Potter had everyone convinced they knew the formula. And so 20th Century Fox brought in Chris Columbus, director of the first two Harry Potter films to adapt the Percy Jackson and the Olympians by young author Rick Riordan.

Percy Jackson has lived his life with his mother and a terrible step-father.  His only solace is swimming and his friend Grover. He struggles with dyslexia and is easily distracted.  One day on a school trip he makes a rather startling discovery.  He is the son of Poseidon, the Greek God of the Sea. Grover turns out to be a satyr and his protector and takes Percy and his mother to a place where Percy will be safe.  See, it turns out that everyone in Mythdom believes Percy has stolen Zeus’ lightning bolt.  And so everyone is trying to get it from him to start a war.

A minotaur interferes with their attempt to reach Camp Halfblood.  While Percy and Grover make it, his mother is taken by Hades.  Along with Grover and Annabeth, the daughter of Athena, Percy goes on a quest to free his mother from Hades.

The film draws from various Greek stories, bringing Percy against the Hydra, Medusa, and the underworld.  It is filled pretty richly with creatures of myths like Centaurs and furies.

The first two Harry Potter films were faithful to the source to the point of near detriments, but on the other hand the casting of the instructors was downright inspired. Now, I have not read the books, so I am not sure how closely the films follow their inspirations.  But while the cast is good, there are really no…”That person now defines how I would see them in any incarnation”.  Again, the cast is good.  You have Sean Bean, Joe Pantoliano, Uma Thurman, Catherine Keener, Rosario Dawson, and Pierce Brosnan in your supporting cast. And really, Logan Lerman, Brandon T. Jackson and Alexandra Daddario connect well as a team.

A lot of the creature designs are pretty good.  Some, are hampered by being very obvious digital monsters.  And honestly, the film makes the same flaw in their choice for Medusa as the Clash of the Titans remake…she is to seductive looking.

However, there are some inspired moments, for example, the hydra begins as five men who combine into the beast.

The Lightning Thief has an interesting enough idea at it’s core that I did find the film to be fairly entertaining.  Not a classic or must see, of course, but it is certainly passable light entertainment.

Gotham Crumbles (Batman & Robin, 1997)

Batman_&_Robin_PosterRemember how I said Schumacher hoped to make Batman Year one by giving the studio what they wanted?  Well, Batman Forever was actually a hit.  It made a ton of money.  And guess what the studio wanted?  If you said, “A gritty look at Batman’s first year”?  Slap yourself.  They said “Give us more toys and product placement.  Which led to a seen where Batman uses his BatCredit Card.

In addition, Kilmer was the George Lazenby of the franchise.  He was out…in was ER heart throb George Clooney.  Clooney got the luck of putting the nails into the coffin of the original Bat-Franchise.

Batman & Robin is bloated, as it has introduced Robin and now Batgirl (who is Alfred’s niece, rather than Commissioner Gordon’s daughter).  The villains are Poison Ivy and Mr. Freeze.  Freeze is almost wonderfully miscast with Arnold Schwarzenegger in the role.  The character has always been a thin and lanky dude.  So casting a muscled action star only makes the most sense. In addition to the two villains, the film includes Bane as one of the henchmen of Poison Ivy.

Batman and Robin try and stop Freeze and Ivy who team up for reasons…even though their reasons are kind of in conflict.  Alfred is sick (and Freeze may hold the cure) and Commissioner Gordon is still around because people expect to see him in a Batman movie.

Like the last film, this one contains a big deal soundtrack, part of a thing in the 90’s where soundtracks featuring bands was a sign of a cool and with it movie.  Scores were for suckers in the 90’s.  The soundtrack help more to date the film than make it truly memorable.

Clooney is not terrible in the role…I mean, he is clearly trying to be a good Batman.  But the problem is, he is in a toy-centric movie, where his role is only as important in as much as it can sell toys to kids.  O’Donnell already feels to old to be playing a whiny entitled brat…but there he is.  Alicia Silverstone was a very 90’s choice.  She faced a brutal and unfair onslaught of abuse over fluctuating weight that simply did not belong in coverage of the film.  Uma Thurman’s Poison Ivy is okay in performance, but her hairstyles are pretty terrible.  My favorite performance is actually John Glover…his Jason Woodrue is manically entertaining.

Bane is portrayed as a mindless drone under Ivy’s control.  Which shows how they just treated characters a something to be cherry picked with little regard for the original visions of these characters.  Visually the lush color schemes of Schumacher’s previous film.

The entire film is a crazy mess of an art department cut loose in concert with a demand for product tie-in to the point of almost beautiful obnoxiousness.  It never comes together in the end…but if it does not give you a seizure? You probably got out okay.

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