Tripping Through Gateways

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So, God has lost faith in humanity and is going to go all “Noah’s Ark” on humanities ass…except there is no plan to save anyone. But one angel, Michael, feels in his heart that God is wrong and decides he must intervene. So, he comes to Earth to get some guns. At a remote diner, Charlie is pregnant with humanity’s only hope. Soon the diner and it’s occupants are under siege by… Read More

If prizes were awarded for the most inconsistently named franchise?  Pretty sure this franchise would own that.  If George Lucas was involved, they would all get renamed something like Dom Toretto and the  Fast and The Furious (Who care if Vin is in every film or not). By this time, our heroes have gone from criminals to underdogs to helping the authorities.  But after saving the world last time around, Dom has… Read More

The seventh film in the series that has not apparently run out of gas (and fifth film directed by Justin Lin) finds the team no longer on the run and being a family.  Dom and Letty are working on their relationship, as she has not regained her memory.  Brian and Mia are enjoying parenthood.  Everything is going smoothly…well, except the fact that somebody is trying to murder the crew…and not just the… Read More

The sixth film throws in a twist for Dom, Brian and their family.  Letty is back, but now she appears to be their competition.  Hobb’s has let the gang be, seeing as how they have stayed out of the heist scene since their last encounter…but a new crew of high precision vehicle themed criminals.  Hobbs knows he needs help and seeks the skills of Dom and the crew.  The carrot he dangles… Read More

And uh…here is where things get a little weird for the franchise.  Because, uh, the fifth film?  It is probably the best film of the franchise at this point.  This film embraces the absurd and becomes a full on heist film.  Brian has joined Dominic as a fugitive after he and Mia free Dominic from a prison bus. The three go to Rio where they join in an attempt to steal some… Read More

I think we all know what comes after a movie is a modest success or better…the studios move on to the next project, happy with their success.  Oh wait…no… they cry out for a sequel. And so, the embarrassingly named 2 Fast 2 Furious was made. Dominic Toretto is missing in action this time around, instead pairing the ex-cop O’Conner with an Ex-Con friend named Roman (Tyrese Gibson) to help take down… Read More

So the Autobots came to earth in an attempt to escape with a weapon the Decepticons wanted.  It was lost when it bumped into our moon.  On board is Sentinal Prime.  Turns out when they established Optimus was the Last Prime in the previous film…it was incorrect. Sam is no longer with Mikaela, instead he lives with his new hot girlfriend who is introduced to the audience with a five minute tracking… Read More

The story goes that they started filming the movie without a full script.  Not a rough script…an unfinished script lacking an end…among other things.  It is a real mess of ideas and makes for a completely incoherent film.  Sam goes to college, leaves Mikaela behind until the action kicks in.  And  the army guys and Autobots are a team.  Remember how the Autobots came to Earth for the All Spark?  Wait, it… Read More

When it was announced that there was a live action Transformers movie on the way, former kids everywhere rejoiced.  Even when it was announced that Eye Candy & Explosions Master Michael Bay was directing the film, we did not let that stop our hopes for “Awesome”.  The final product?  Well, I guess it as as good as any Alien Robots That Turn Into Cars and Stuff movie could be. Introducing us to… Read More