Angels With Filthy Souls (Legion, 2010)

So, God has lost faith in humanity and is going to go all “Noah’s Ark” on humanities ass…except there is no plan to save anyone. But one angel, Michael, feels in his heart that God is wrong and decides he must intervene. So, he comes to Earth to get some guns.

At a remote diner, Charlie is pregnant with humanity’s only hope. Soon the diner and it’s occupants are under siege by what they assume are people possessed by demons. Michael shows up and informs them these are actually people possessed by angels.

Michael explains he is there to help hold the other angels off until the baby is born (the film is set on Christmas Eve). The characters desperately fight to make it through it as more and more angels arrive. But Michael has a ton of guns to use and share with the folks in the diner.

Honestly, the film is pretty silly. It is trying to be a little of everything…there are sharp toothed angel possessed people, a creepy ice cream man, but lots of action movies stunts and shooting of the guns. Gabriel has a pretty wicked mace though.

The drama just comes off as kind of silly. Which is kind of sad.

You see, the film is full of interesting ideas. God has grown weary of humanity letting Him down with our darkness. This film has hints of the Sodom and Gomorrah story in the bible, except Michael is the one petitioning to save humanity and instead of one righteous soul, he seeks to save a baby.

The film wants you to see the big ideas…faith, can God’s heart be turned from anger (again, this has big shades of Noah)? Can an angel rebel against God and be forgiven? What is the nature of mercy. But the movie deals with these thing ineptly. Not unlike Director Scott Stewart’s follow up to this film, Priest (also starring Paul Bettany), the most important thing is not story, but stylishness.

October 25, 2018 0

Speed Racers Pt 8 (The Fate of the Furious, 2017)

If prizes were awarded for the most inconsistently named franchise? Pretty sure this franchise would own that. If George Lucas was involved, they would all get renamed something like Dom Toretto and the Fast and The Furious (Who care if Vin is in every film or not).

By this time, our heroes have gone from criminals to underdogs to helping the authorities. But after saving the world last time around, Dom has apparently switched sides and is helping Charlize Theron take on the world. She is an evil hacker with big plans…and so Mr. Nobody calls in The Fast and Furious team and a surprise guest…the last film’s villain (Jason Statham). Has Dom truly gone bad? Is he really turning his back on his family?

This is the first film in the franchise not directed by Justin Lin, and it definitely loses some of that cohesiveness. It feels less like a continuation and more like a flat out sequel from the…uh…sequel factory. F. Gary Gray is a strong director and has some definite “action/Car movie” cred with the 2003 remake of the Italian Job. But the story itself feels like it was conceived months after the last film was released and worked to fit their latest idea together. The previous films felt more “organic” with Lin at the helm.

I cannot pinpoint exactly why this is, as the guy who wrote this film (Chris Morgan) wrote every film since Tokyo Drift. Maybe Gray connects with the characters differently. But one thing that stands out is that there is a big plot point that comes pretty much out of nowhere as Dom’s motivations. There is no point in a prior film to see it coming. It feels purely invented for the film, like a last minute idea to solve a problem they were having.

Fate is certainly not lacking for action, though they may finally be hitting that point where it is hard to top the big set piece of the previous film. The massive race across the ice and attempts to outrun a massive submarine feel more like they cobbled together ideas from the previous film, so instead of giving us an impressive and new sequence it highlights cooler moments of past films.

While Fate of the Furious is not terrible (and not by the standards of the franchise itself, it has its moments), it does feel like the franchise is finding it harder and harder to sustain itself.

August 1, 2017 0

Speed Racers Pt 7 (Furious 7, 2015)

The seventh film in the series that has not apparently run out of gas (and fifth film directed by Justin Lin) finds the team no longer on the run and being a family. Dom and Letty are working on their relationship, as she has not regained her memory. Brian and Mia are enjoying parenthood. Everything is going smoothly…well, except the fact that somebody is trying to murder the crew…and not just the crew, but anyone connected with the take down of Shaw in the previous film. Which means Hobbs needs to team up with the family once more.

The big threat here? Shaw’s big brother… uh… Shaw. Well, this brother gets a first name as well. Overseeing our intrepid clan is Mr. Nobody…played by Kurt Russell. Because if your films are full of familiar faces and names… you cannot go wrong adding Kurt Russell to the mix.

Seven ups the stunt ante again…”Gee, we had a tank last time?” How about skydiving cars? Cars driven from from skyscraper to skyscraper…via the top floors? In this film, they crash cars and use pieces of the cars in hand to hand combat. The Rock picks up a giant gun and starts to shoot down a helicopter. And then? It gets nuts.

Overall, it is a pretty solid effort, though false a bit short of the sixth entry. Part of this is due to the film having been faced with an unexpected tragedy before they were done filming. After leaving an awards ceremony Paul Walker (Brian O’Conner) and a friend were killed in a car wreck (the friend was driving). It was very clear from the response of the cast and crew that they had all gotten very close, and were crushed by the loss of their friend.

But this forced some story alterations. I doubt their plan was to send Brian out of the series. But now they had to adjust the story to do that. With help from Paul’s twin brother they filmed some final shots. The final moments are full of heavy comments about not saying good-bye and how things are never going to be the same. They are clearly paying their respects to Walker, which is both understandable and touching. But it does make things a little awkward.

Paul Walker has passed away, but Brian and Mia are just done with adventuring and are going to raise their kids. Yet, each character speaks as if they will never see Brian and Mia again.

Overall, while not quite as strong as Fast Five or Fast & Furious 6, Furious 7 is still a lot of fun…and it could have made a nice finale for the franchise.

July 31, 2017 0

Speed Racers Pt 6 (Fast & Furious 6, 2013)

The sixth film throws in a twist for Dom, Brian and their family. Letty is back, but now she appears to be their competition. Hobb’s has let the gang be, seeing as how they have stayed out of the heist scene since their last encounter…but a new crew of high precision vehicle themed criminals. Hobbs knows he needs help and seeks the skills of Dom and the crew. The carrot he dangles before them is the discovery that Letty is, in fact, alive and working with this group that is a threat to free nations everywhere.

The core of the story is Dom’s desire to get Letty back, but she seems to have lost her memory. This allows the film to have some playful and competitive flirtation between the two, but also gives the villain, Shaw, something to use against the crew. This is fairly effective. For Brian, he and Mia have a child and are looking at their future. What this means for Mia is that she is sidelined from the story, which is a bit disappointing for the character, however, the franchise’s cast tends to grow as fast as it loses characters.

And this is a big cast. The regulars are back and they are all in regular form, firing quips, arguing, and driving real fast. This film is as fun as the previous entry, with no fear to go big. For example? There is a big chase at the end that involves a giant tank.

This series has benefited from having a single director for the past few entries. The films feel like the story advances and was actually planned, rather than assembled backwards. Plenty of franchise sequels simply feel like they have the idea and try to fit it in…but it seems like Lin and the writers planned things out in advance.

Fast & Furious 6 continues the upward tick of the franchise, and makes for a fun adrenaline fueled time.

July 30, 2017 0

Speed Racers Pt 5 (Fast Five, 2011)

And uh…here is where things get a little weird for the franchise. Because, uh, the fifth film? It is probably the best film of the franchise at this point. This film embraces the absurd and becomes a full on heist film. Brian has joined Dominic as a fugitive after he and Mia free Dominic from a prison bus.

The three go to Rio where they join in an attempt to steal some cars from a train, which goes horribly wrong. Dominic, Brian and Mia decide they need to get back at the man behind the failed heist…who is one of the most connected men in Rio. They assemble a team which brings back cast members from the second, third and fourth films. This means Roman, Han and Gal Gadot’s Gisele are all back.

To put a wrinkle in their plans? Dwayne the Rock Johnson. He is the unstoppable Government Agent Hobbs. Hobbs is determined to bring the fugitives in at all costs. This results in several reversal of fortune moments for the fugitives and Hobbs that keep the viewer on their toes.

The group they have assembled make for a lot of fun. While Roman and Tej provide a lot of the comic relief, the film has a lot of fun with the flirtation between Gisele and Han. The core relationship of Dominic, Brian and Mia hold this group together.

Lin provides multiple exciting sequences, both in and out of cars. The cat and mouse with Hobbs culminates in an exciting chase through the streets of Rio with cars pulling a giant safe. I mean, like a vault. And even that has a giant twist.

Like I said, this film embraces the absurd, not worrying if anything is to over the top. The end result is a fun bit of action based escapism.

July 29, 2017 0

Speed Racers Pt 2 (2 Fast 2 Furious, 2003)

I think we all know what comes after a movie is a modest success or better…the studios move on to the next project, happy with their success. Oh wait…no… they cry out for a sequel. And so, the embarrassingly named 2 Fast 2 Furious was made.

Dominic Toretto is missing in action this time around, instead pairing the ex-cop O’Conner with an Ex-Con friend named Roman (Tyrese Gibson) to help take down a drug lord. It involves cars again, because apparently that is why the government hires O’Conner. They are helped by a sexy undercover DEA agent (Eva Mendes…I said sexy, right?).

This is the film’s biggest problem. It is basically a buddy cop film in the vein of Lethal Weapon or Rush Hour. The first film emphasized the idea of family, both that of your birth and families you make yourself. This film lacks that, which removes the weightier concerns of O’Conner’s moral code that was present in the first film. There is no struggle for him here. His target is a bad guy.

They did try and do something different here, but Diesel’s presence is noticeable, and it was probably a bad idea to try and continue without him. Roman is not a charismatic enough replacement, instead he is more a comedic relief. The action in the film is competent, but uninspired, leaving us with a somewhat lackluster action film.

July 26, 2017 0

Moonshine (Transformers: Dark of the Moon,2011)

So the Autobots came to earth in an attempt to escape with a weapon the Decepticons wanted. It was lost when it bumped into our moon. On board is Sentinal Prime. Turns out when they established Optimus was the Last Prime in the previous film…it was incorrect.

Sam is no longer with Mikaela, instead he lives with his new hot girlfriend who is introduced to the audience with a five minute tracking shot focused solely on her ass. Because what better way to introduce you cast member. It is not presented with any eye of satire or self criticism. The Autobot’s relationship with the Government is a bit stressed, and when there is a betrayal, the Decepticons make a threat to the world to get rid of the Autobots. Chicago is totaled as they take over.

Again, the effects look great and the cast is absurdly good. Frances McDormand, Alan Tudyk, Leonard Nimoy and John Malkovich join the mostly returning cast. But the frustrating thing here is that some of the characterization feels off. The fact that Sam is still lacking any confidence is tremendously nervous is tiring. He is a goof, yet (among other things) gets stunning girlfriends and has directly saved the world twice before this film. There is no evidence that people think he is a joke, so the idea he cannot get a higher level job than a mail-room clerk is hard to believe. The character has not grown at all since his introduction in 2007.

In the beginning, Optimus Prime is pretty in character as a noble leader and warrior. But towards the end of the film he lets thousands die to teach Earth a lesson about how needed the Autobots are. He coldly kills characters who are surrendering and begging for mercy.

I noted in the Revenge of the Fallen review that Fox was gone after that. According to production interviews with Bay the reason Fox was gone? She looked different when she came in for the third film. He heavily implies that she had enough surgery that she looked nothing like her character anymore. Bay laments that “for some reason” women in the entertainment industry feel a need to “change their looks”. Has Michael Bay actually seen one of his movies? Because if he has, he might get a clue as to why actresses “change their appearance”. And to replace Fox? He hired a model (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley) who had never acted before. Because being an actress is unnecessary for a Michael Bay film.

The story is another revision to the series…every film to this point revises why the Autobots and Decepticons are here. The effects and stunts are the high point. And that is about it. Maybe these are the best they can do with a toy robot collection. But that should not be the case. Creativity should be possible, even with a toy based franchise.

August 4, 2016 0

What Script? (Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, 2009)

The story goes that they started filming the movie without a full script. Not a rough script…an unfinished script lacking an end…among other things. It is a real mess of ideas and makes for a completely incoherent film. Sam goes to college, leaves Mikaela behind until the action kicks in. And the army guys and Autobots are a team. Remember how the Autobots came to Earth for the All Spark? Wait, it is not why…now they came to stop the Fallen, who came to earth thousands of years ago. And Optimus Prime is Autobot Jesus. There are black stereotype Autobots (what is it woth Bay and race based “humor”?). The film brings in the Constructicons who make one big vacuum cleaner.

The cast is, as before quite good. But they seem lost and unsure where they are going…I almost expect to see a script supervisor to run into frame and hand people pages with their updated lines and story. The mess has great effect, but raises weird questions. The Decepticons send a sexy girl to go after Sam. She looks and apparently feels human to the touch…if this is a possibility…um, why are they turning into cars and planes and tape decks?!

Why?

This is the film that got Megan Fox in trouble…she called Bay Hitler. And word is Producer Steven Spielberg sent her packing. But I suspect it was different than that. Bay sticks with the Cleavage and Explosions formula. But in the end…nothing save this from being a complete implosion of a film.

August 3, 2016 0

It Meets The Eye (Transformers, 2007)

When it was announced that there was a live action Transformers movie on the way, former kids everywhere rejoiced. Even when it was announced that Eye Candy & Explosions Master Michael Bay was directing the film, we did not let that stop our hopes for “Awesome”. The final product? Well, I guess it as as good as any Alien Robots That Turn Into Cars and Stuff movie could be.

Introducing us to Sam Witwicky…in the old cartoons there was a Witwicky, but if they are meant to be related or if it is just a fan service thing…I don’t know. Sam is a …uh…jittery and nervous kind of guy. He has his heart set on Mikaela…who hangs with a different crowd. Unfortunately robots who turn into cars totally interfere.

It is hard to sum the film up, as the cast is huge. HUUUUUGE. There are army guys, secret undercover agents. Sam’s overbearing parents. Hackers (Cute Blonde and antsy black guy). Racial Stereotypes abound. In some way, most of them come together and help the Autobots fight the Decepticons.

Bay hires a lot of actresses for their eye candy factor. When an attractive girl is on screen, the camera lingers as he makes her pose. I can just hear him telling Megan Fox as she is looking over a car engine “Lean forward a little more!” The Autobots came to earth to find the “All Spark” and we humans have been hiding it. Okay…that is the basic plot. Plus cleavage and explosions.

Remember that huge cast? One thing that blows my mind is how Bay can populate his films with solid actors. I mean, Armageddon had a cast made up almost entirely of indie movie actors and Bruce Willis. The script is not confusing, but it takes awhile to come together as a whole.

The robots look quite good. And it is fun that they cast Peter Cullen (Optimus Prime) and Charlie Adler (Starscream) reprise their roles from the 80’s cartoon. The film can be very exciting and it is a real effects spectacle. Light on plot and characterization, it may be okay for a mindless evening.

August 2, 2016 2