Fast and Furious (The Quick and the Dead, 1995)

Stop me if you’ve heard this one…a mysterious drifter comes to town with a purpose only known to her.

Ellen wanders into a small town ruled by Herod. Every year, Herod holds a quick draw competition. Gunfighters from all over come to show off their skills. He is a cruel and vindictive man. He has a former partner in crime, Cort, in chains. Cort walked away from his criminal ways and became a preacher. But Herod is trying to push Cort into cast away his faith.

Ellen is a hard drinking and tortured woman. She has arrived for the competition. But as she grows closer to her goal of fighting Herod, the weight of vengeance starts to wear her down. She takes some comfort with Herod’s young and cocky son, called the Kid.

The Kid is tired of living under his father’s shadow. This is one of the closest points to being human Herod has. He tries to force the Kid out of the contest when it is clear the kid aims to go against his father.

Meanwhile, Cort tries to convince Ellen to walk away…leading to Herod seeing an opportunity and set Ellen and Cort against each other a shootout to the death.

If this sounds like a mass of western cliches…well, it should. This is the point of Sam Raimi’s film. He is paying a very loving homage to the classic spaghetti western. At the same time, this is shot with the classic Raimi style. Weird angles, impossible visuals and over the top characters.

This is Gene Hackman at his scene chewing best. His performance as Herod is the classic “Evil Town Leader” mold, and a whole lot of fun. As the Kid, Leonardo DiCaprio is a lot of fun to watch. He is immensely over confident, but that is kind of his charm. Russell Crow’s performance as Cort is a bit more understated. And it serves the character well. Cort is a bit like Bill Munny from Unforgiven in that he turned from evil and seeks a more righteous path. But his past refuses to make this easy.

Raimi fills the background with a remarkable cast of character actors. Lance Henrickson is the fancy Gambler and gunfight Ace. Keith David is the bounty hunter hired by the town to kill Herod.

The Quick and the Dead is a great love letter to the westerns of Sergio Leone and entertaining as all git out.

March 23, 2018 0

Swing High (Spider-Man: Homecoming, 2017)

Spider-Man has the distinction of having been rebooted three times in the last fifteen years. Both the Raimi Films and the Marc Webb films have good points. Raimi’s Spider-Man 2 is a high point for super-hero themed films. But they also never quite fully got Spider-Man as a character. Maguire’s Peter Parker could be to goofy, while Garfield’s Peter was to moody and mopey.

Sony hit some hard times, made all the worse by a major hack that exposed all sorts of internal issues. One thing it revealed? Sony had talked with Marvel about a deal that would allow Spider-Man to be a part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. The talks fell apart before the hack. But this brought them back to life.

Sony decided to let Marvel bring a heavy creative hand in. In exchange, Sony got to include MCU characters in their Spider-Films. The MCU introduced Spider-Man into their world via Captain America: Civil War. Spider-Man was a highlight of that film. And rather than try to retrofit Peter Parker in, as if Spider-Man had been there all along… they stepped into his career early, so he is new on the scene.

Homecoming picks up roughly eight months after Civil War, with Peter enjoying using his Stark supplied super-suit and anxiously awaiting his next big Avengers mission. Which seems to never come along. Instead, Peter races around trying to get better by fighting street crime and helping lost old ladies. His day to day life has, of course, been tougher since Tony Stark has come into his life, and he starts to withdraw to make more time. He dreams of beautiful classmate Liz and hangs out with his closest friend Gan-uh-Ned. Of course, he makes a major discovery, the adults don’t listen and Peter over-confidently decides to take on guys who may be out of his league.

One of the refreshing story points is that this is not about Peter learning about “with Great Power comes Great Responsibility”…at this point, he has learned that lesson. We only get vague reference to Uncle Ben’s death. In fact, the origin of Spider-Man is tossed out in a two second exchange.

Holland’s Peter Parker is sweet and awkward…his Spider-Man is quippy, but still learning. He is not yet the confident Peter Parker, he practices lines, tries to get into a good pose before alerting bad guys to his presence. But of the previous film versions, this is easily the strongest portrayal of Peter. He may be in-experienced, but there are just so many things that make this version…well Spider-Man.

The rest of the cast of characters are updated in some interesting ways. Ned Leeds is really Ganke from the Miles Morales Spider-Man comics, and he is a very fun character. This is largely due to the comic timing and enthusiasm of actor Jacob Batalon. I was most hesitant about Marisa Tomei as Aunt May…not because of her acting ability…but because she is only a few years older than me…and she feels more youthful and vibrant than traditional portrayals of Aunt May. But I ended up really liking her in the role.

Michael Keaton’s Vulture is a terrific improvement on the character. I never really cared for the comic version…he never seemed like he was all that much of a threat. And the green suit did not help. Keaton’s performance is solid and menacing…yet his motives are understandable. He is a guy who wants to provide for his family, and saw secret government agencies undercutting his business. He turns to crime to make up for that. The Vulture look is a nice combination of modern with hints of his original look. It works very well.

The action scenes are all nice and effective. Sometimes these films can get confusing during busy action scenes. Homecoming makes the action easy to follow. And the film is infused with humor. While theses were not absent from the previous versions, it is much more present here. And yet, the humor is not at the expense of Peter’s character. He feels the heavy weight of responsibility, regardless of his experience.

Admittedly, the film does not break new ground for Spider-Man…but I think it may be the best of the Spider-Man films so far. Or, at worst, a close second to Raimi’s second Spider-Man film. This is a fun film, and fun should be part of (a lot more) super-hero films. Being overseen by Marvel, there are plenty of easter eggs…but what Marvel is usually really good about is that the easter eggs are a bonus for fans who love the comics…and if you have not read the comics, you won’t feel like you are missing something.

Honestly, I recommend seeing Spider-Man: Homecoming in the theater. It benefits from being seen with an audience.

July 9, 2017 0

Lost to An Alternate Universe?

So, the day Sony and Disney drop the new Spider-Man: Homecoming trailer (which was met with a pretty positive response) producer Amy Pascal drops the bomb.

One of the things that I think is so amazing about this experience is that you don’t have studios deciding to work together to make a film very often.

In fact, it may never happen again–after we do the sequel.

It appears Sony is hoping to pull Peter back into their fold-out of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. We probably should have seen this coming, after Sony announced plans for their own Spider-Verse, starting with an ‘R’ rated Venom movie. Sony and Pascal seem to be misreading this situation.

Sony had some success in 2002 and 2004 with the Spider-Man franchise when it was headed by Sam Raimi. But after the mess of Spider-Man 3 and then a somewhat lackluster reboot…Sony was floundering. They made the deal with Disney after the big hack two years ago humiliated the studio.

Marvel Studios, on the other hand, won praise for Peter Parker’s appearance in Captain America: Civil War. The previous incarnations of Spider-Man tended to get aspects right, but Marvel’s team pretty much got it all right.

And I suspect that everything that looks so good about Spider-Man: Homecoming is from the Marvel Studio’s side. Backing out and taking him out after the next sequel and Avengers: Infinity War would be a mistake. Sony will, no doubt, mess up their progress. To remove him from the MCU just to start their own Marvel Universe? Not a wise decision.

If Sony insists on starting their own Spider-Verse. I propose the following…

Leave Peter Parker in the Marvel Cinematic Universe proper. Let Marvel continue to handle him. Instead, create your Sony MCU around Miles Morales from Ultimate Spider-Man. Sony can double their money and have their alternate Spider-Man themed MCU. And fans get to see Spider-Man remain in the MCU.

March 29, 2017 0

Crypt Keepin’ Carpenter (Body Bags, 1993)

An attempt by Showtime to create a Horror Anthology to compete with HBO’s Tales From the Crypt, Body Bags both starred and featured direction from John Carpenter. Showtime killed the series but released the three shorts set against bookend segments hosted by Carpenter as a creepy coroner. His assistant was Tobe Hooper, director of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Both directed a segment as well.

Just like the Crypt Keeper, the Coroner makes schlocky jokes, before introducing the story. It is not entirely certain each bookend was meant for the story that followed.

The first tale, the Gas Station, is about a young woman on her first night working at a gas station on a lonely stretch of road. After a parade of weirdos, she discovers she is being stalked by a serial killer. It is not a unique story, but it is well done, with a nice little twist. Wes Craven has an amusing cameo as a creepy drunk who hits on the young woman.

The second segment, Hair, is about a man who is obsessed with his thinning hair. In spite of his girlfriend’s insistence that it does not matter to her, he cannot stop fearing losing his hair. Everywhere he looks he sees luxurious heads of hair. He drives his girlfriend away because he won’t accept himself. One night, he discovers a clinic that promise actual regrowth of lost hair. Richard runs to the clinic for their service. He is stunned when they try and talk him out of it, but he wants hair. But in the end, he finds the hair wants him just as much as he wants it. This is an entertaining story with and entertaining performance from Stacy Keach. This is also the most humorous of the stories.

The best segment is the Eye, starring Mark Hamill as a minor league baseball player whose career is cut short when he loses an eye. He is offered a chance at a new experimental surgery that gives him a donor eye. But with the eye comes dark and depraved visions. Are they his own or the previous owner of the eye? Hamill gives a strong performance. Of the three tales, this is the best of the bunch.

As with all anthologies, some installments are better than others. But thankfully, in the case of Body Bags, all three are ranging from decent to very good. While the first two segments are directed by John Carpenter, the Eye is directed by Tobe Hooper. This is an enjoyable film. And for those curious…you get to see Luke Skywalker’s bare butt.

October 17, 2016 0

Stretching the Web (Spider-Man 3, 2007)

The Spider-Man franchise is one of the first super-hero films to feature it’s entire series with the singular vision of a specific director. Raimi did a good job with the first one and a spectacular job with the second film. It still stands as a high watermark for the superhero film genre. Three is a bit more…complicated. There is a Spider-Man comic for Marvel to publish. The Complicated Spider-Man.

We open with Peter telling us just how awesome his life is. He has a hot girlfriend who is successfully performing plays, school is going excellently, he has money. It is here where we get our introduction to Gwen Stacy (Bryce Dallas Howard), who is apparently doing pretty well in school herself. Peter runs into Harry at MJ’s play. Peter is contemplating proposal, especially after a night of star watching with MJ. It is a fun use of powers in the scene as they lie next to each other in a giant web. Unknown to Peter, a meteor crashes near by and a black goo crawls out…it appears to have some sentience, as it leaps onto Peter’s scooter.

We get introduced to Flint Marko, played by the talented Thomas Haden Church. He has escaped prison and snuck into his home. In a nice bit of back-story, he has a daughter whom he loves very much, and the crimes he committed were to try and help her. Raimi was very good at finding human connections for the villains in all three films. You could sympathize with their motivations. On the other hand, There is Harry Osbourne…who is becoming a cartoonish revenged obsessed guy. I get that they want us to see him as a tragic figure…becoming his father, whom he always wanted to please. But it seems he is suddenly a technology genius he never was in the previous films.

Meanwhile, Peter declares his intentions to propose to Aunt May. As usual, Rosemary Harris hits it out of the park, reminiscing about when Uncle Ben proposed to her. Peter leaves feeling hopeful-only to be hit by a flying snow border. Yes. You heard me. Just like the terrible Green Goblin costume, the the Hobgoblin costume is terrible, only worse. This is rather stunning to me, because for all the efforts to visual fidelity by Raimi? Both Goblins look as distant from the comics as you can get. Great actor choices (both Defoe and Franco) and terrible outfits. They have a elaborate fight, that actually looks pretty good, and shows Peter has become quite skilled in his role. He manages to take down Harry-but almost kills him in the process. When he wakes up in the hospital, he has no memory of anything…that Peter is Spider-Man, how his father died, or that he was angry with Peter.

Meanwhile, Marko is on the run from the cops. He slips into a field used by a testing facility and falls into a pit. Suddenly, he hears something starting up. We then meet the worst scientists in the world. They notice a change in the mass, but shrug it off as a bird who will fly away. So, then they just continue the experiment. Marko is horrified as he seems to dissolve into dust, when the cops reach the pit, there is nothing there. This results in him coming back to life as living sand.

And so on and so on. The film goes through great effort to introduce character after character.

Peter is struggling to keep his relationship with MJ afloat, while getting a swelled head from all the love the public is giving him. Not to mention her concern that he never mentioned lab partner Gwen Stacy.

The film does the comic book trope of Retconning. This is where a story introduces some knew historical fact that we never knew about. Here it turns out that Flint Marko was the actual killer of Uncle Ben. This fills Peter with anger and thanks to the alien symbiote that has attached itself to him.

In a great moment, Peter thinks he has killed Marko and visits his Aunt May to tell her Marko is dead. But her reaction is confusing for Peter. She is not happy. And when he tells her that Spider-Man did it, she is confounded…because she knows Spider-Man is no killer. She was not seeking revenge, it is a dangerous path.

Peter becomes more and more selfish, mocking his friends, using other people. And in showing this, we are witness to one of the worst sequences of the entire franchise. Peter walks down the street, chest puffed out. Women are looking at him with desire. He then sees pics of Spider-Man robbing a bank. Peter goes to the Bugle. He shows proof that Brock doctored the photo. He get’s Brock fired. Peter is unmerciful, telling Brock if he wants forgiveness? “Go get religion.” This is last part actually a good moment…but it is surrounded by Peter acting cocky to seventies funk music. He buys a slick new suit, steps into the street with pelvic thrusts.

Now, it is meant to show us that the suit is changing Peter…making him more confident and aggressive. An alpha predator. But instead, most of it is totally goofy. We even get an embarrassing dance sequence. In the end, Peter realizes the suit is causing him to change and decides it is time to be free of it. Once he does, the symbiote finds the already angry Eddie Brock…the end result is Venom. This film has three villains, between Hobgoblin, Sandman and Venom. While Peter takes Harry out mid way through the film, it is to late to avoid the bloat.

The first thing that stands out to me in this film? It is pretty obvious that Venom was forced on Raimi. Venom is shoehorned in at the end, almost as if it was an obligation and frankly in a pretty clunky fashion at that. In the comics, Eddie was Peter’s opposite. He was a massive musclebound guy. The film opted more for a funhouse mirror image approach. Topher Grace is small and skinny, not unlike Peter. He is really Parker without the ethics. It works pretty well, for all it’s briefness, Grace makes Brock come off as the guy continuously reaping what he sows-but seeing himself as a victim of life. It is all about how other people ruined his life. Topher plays Brock as pretty creepy by the end…at one point, he is holding onto MJ, and says to Peter, “My Spider Sense is tingling…if you know what I mean.” and is motioning towards his crotch. Grace works with what he has.

As the Sandman? Church is perfectly cast. He looks like he walked off the page. He really is the Sandman, and is pretty sympathetic, while being a credible threat. And the Sandman effects are terrific. It is clear Raimi really wanted to use the Sandman, and his love of the character is obvious. They really show off the possibilities of such a power. The effects in general are great. Lots of fun Spider-Action.

The supporting cast is solid as usual. The regulars, such as J.K Simmons, Bill Nunn, Elizabeth Banks and Dylan Baker are there. We also have James Cromwell and Bryce Dallas Howard. As usual? Simmons hits it out of the park and gives some of the film’s funniest moments.

As for the Stacys, Cromwell gets almost no time, so there is no real sense of what Stacy is about. We know he is Gwen’s father, but he has almost no relationship to Peter or Spider-Man. Gwen is used in a criminal fashion. While Gwen moons over Peter Parker, she lacks a solid identity. The writers use her as a mere plot point to interfere in Peter and MJ’s relationship. I am a little surprised Raimi went along with this, but it really is disappointing. Bryce Dallas Howard looks terrific as Gwen, but she is barely a character. And she just disappears from the film.

Also disappointing? The black suit is just the Spider-Man costume painted black. It would have been nice to have at least seen the big white spider on the chest.

But what really hurts this film? It is just ridiculously over populated. We have three villains, separate motives and stories. You practically have two or three films worth of stuff. Really, it would have been better to give the the symbiote the story of Spider-Man 3 and make Venom the villain in number four. And it is unfortunate that they tried to cram in so much that no story point really gets to be dealt with in a satisfying way. It is so much, every story gets cheated.

Raimi ends his trilogy with a “Meh” instead of a “Hooray”…and that is unfortunate. After the heights of number 2, this film just feels so…messy and the result is it feels a bit mediocre. Oh, it has it’s moments, but nothing ever comes together.

September 5, 2016 0

On a Swing And a Prayer (Spider-Man 2, 2004)

Seriously…not the Amazing Spider-Man? Not Spectacular Spider-Man?! Despite the blandly titled Spider-Man 2…I sensed a trend for Marvel Movies.

The nice thing for the creative team was that they were not saddled with telling the origin story. Instead, they were free to jump right in to start a new story. And jump in they do-to Peter struggling to make ends meet with a job delivering pizzas by scooter. Realizing he is running out of time for the delivery, he switches into his spider-duds and swings through the city. He still fails to make the delivery on time…resulting in a chewing out from his boss. We find out that while he still pines for MJ, she is engaged to J. Jonah Jameson’s son (an Astronaut). Aunt May has fallen on hard times. Peter and Harry’s friendship is strained, as Harry has become a vocal anti-Spider-Man type after seeing Spider-Man deliver his dead father to their penthouse. His friendship with Mary Jane is stretched because he seems unreliable and unsupportive of her dreams.

On the other hand, Peter is thrilled when he is sent to take pictures at a press event for scientific hero of Parker’s- Dr. Otto Octavious (Alfred Molina). He is showing his new potential energy source. He also is showing off his “assistants”-a set of mechanical arms. The experiment goes awry (as scientific experiments are want to do) and Spider-Man jumps into the fray. Unfortunately, Otto is hospitalized and his wife killed in the turmoil.

The doctors find the arms fused to the Doctor’s body. The arms wake up and attack the hospital staff and taking the Doctor with them. Meanwhile, Peter is starting to have trouble with his powers, and is wanting to be done with Spider-Man. Understandably, he is tired about how much that aspect of his life interferes with the rest of his life. The arms apparently are driving Doc Ock a bit…crazy…he becomes obsessed with perfecting his experiment-not understanding that it is actually a destructive force.

The plot takes twists and turns, with Harry Osborne seeking Doctor Octopus’ help in catching Spider-Man, so he can take his revenge for his father’s death.Peter’s attempts at a regular life when his spider powers seem to be failing is handled nicely.

Sam Raimi really hit it out of the park here. Spider-Man 2 has everything a good comic book movie requires. It is exciting, funny, dramatic…when they announced the villain was Doctor Octopus, fans worried. I am unsure why. Spider-Man has a solid rogues gallery, second to Batman. And Doctor Octopus is a classic villain. And Spider-Man 2 beat all complaints into the ground. The casting of Alfred Molina was perfect. He manages to capture a wide range of character traits. In the beginning he is a funny, genial. Yet He becomes ominous and frightening.

Raimi reaches into his horror routes-especially in the hospital scene where Doc Ock’s arms violently come to life. It is intense and pretty scary sequence that definitely sets a tone for the film for the danger Spider-Man will face.

Maguire turns in a pretty nice performance as Parker again. And Kirsten Dunst does okay…but still lacks the real fire and spunk of the MJ in the comics. MJ is to depressed and beaten down by life to feel like the character comics fans know. Rosemary Harris’s performance as Aunt May is wonderful. The costuming department deserves credit for making sure actors looked like they sprung from the pages. Franco turns in a nice dark performance as Harry.

The writing for this film is much stronger than it’s predecessor. There is a “New Yorkers Unite” moment that is so very well done. After Spider-Man narrowly saves a train, the passengers save him.

Clearly, Raimi has a true love of the early Spider-Man books, and he shines with his choices in this installment. He modernizes the characters without sacrificing why they work. I was so pleased with this one that I could not wait for the third film. If you are doing a second installment of a super-hero franchise? You should watch this and X2. If you just like super-heroes? You should watch this and X2.

Of course, the most important aspect of the film is the presence of Community’s Joel McHale as “Bank Guy”.

September 2, 2016 0

Look Out! Here Comes… (Spider-Man (2002)

The anticipation for a James Cameron Spider-Man went from drool to ridicule after Titanic. Some were fearful he would use Leonardo DiCaprio (and while he is a pretty guy, I think he would have found a way to be a convincing Peter Parker-the guy can act). But ultimately, the idea of a Cameron Spider-Film faded away.

There was some surprise when it was announced that Spider-Man was in the hands of Sam Raimi (at the time he was still getting recognition for critical fave a Simple Plan). Raimi, unlike Singer with the X-Men, was a fan of Spider-Man, especially the early Stan Lee/Steve Ditko era. Raimi held promise, based on his genre fueled past, and his films, such as the two Evil Dead sequels suggested he would be a good choice for making sure Spidey kept his wise-cracking ways.

The reaction to Tobey Maguire seemed mixed. Many thought he was an effective choice for nerdy Peter Parker, but I recall some people complaining-ironically enough-that he was too uh…dweebish. Kirsten Dunst of course caused nerd panic because Mary Jane Watson has red hair. Because you cannot change hair color with dye or anything.

The film itself is in the same trap as many that came before it-including X-Men. The first film is all about the beginning. It is more set up. Which is a shame, because right out of the gate, they go for Spidey’s most famous nemesis, the Green Goblin.

Spider-Man begins with a visual trick (the same trick we saw in Drew Barrymore’s Never Been Kissed. Yeah, I saw it. SHUT UP!!!!) where we are on a bus and Peter suggests that you might not notice him…and then you see Maguire chasing the bus. We get it established pretty quick that Peter is a science nerd, with no real friends outside of Harry Osbourne (James Franco). Harry is handsome and looks like the kind of guy Peter would like to be. But Harry’s frustration is that his father, Norman Osbourne (Willem Defoe) seems prouder of Peter Parker than his own son. He thinks Peter is a gifted young scientist and wishes Harry were more like him. Peter has a huge crush on Mary Jane Watson, the girl next door. His parents are dead, so he lives with his Kindly Uncle Ben (Cliff Robertson) and Aunt May (Rosemary Harris).

On a field trip to the labs of Oscorp (Norman Osbourne’s company) Peter gets bitten by a genetically altered spider. Meanwhile, Norman is trying to keep his military contracts, which are slipping through his fingers. The generals are unimpressed at the pace of his program for creating elite soldiers and a combat glider.

That night, he decides to test the enhancement gas on himself-the result is super strength and insanity. The two most useful powers for a super-villain. Meanwhile, Peter Parker awakens to find himself with a more muscular body and the ability to shoot webs from his wrists. The source of great controversy, it never bothered me. For one thing? It saved us the ten minute sequence of him building web shooters.

The film is full of montages showing Peter experimenting with his powers and such, which shortcuts plenty of potentially long scenes. The film stays quite true to the Spider-Man origin from the comics, with Peter feeling guilt when Uncle Ben is killed by a robber Peter allowed to go free.

Peter sets out to create a new identity, one where he can use his powers anonymously and live out Uncle Ben’s advice that with great power, comes great responsibility. The film rushes the timeline, getting Peter out of high school and into college. He and Harry are roommate in a pretty large apartment (but Harry is a rich kid, so this is not entirely implausible.

Norman, of course, works out that Peter Parker and Spider-Man are the same person and starts using that against him, endangering those Peter loves. In a sequence borrowed from the comics, Peter is forced to choose between a trolley car full of kids and MJ. Unlike the comic, which ends tragically (and with a character other than MJ), Peter successfully saves both. This undermines the lesson of the original story, that Spider-Man cannot save everyone, all the time. People on the Brooklyn bridge start hurling things at the Goblin, who seems shocked that people are made at him. But in case you are missing the point, someone yells, “You mess with one New Yorker, you mess with all of us.” (or something like that). It was that post 9/11 solidarity that just feels…hokey in the film. It has no context or depth.

In the end, Peter decides he must be alone, to protect those he cares about most. This is rather tired as a trope, and to make matters worse, it feels like nerd fantasy. MJ realizes she loves Peter, kisses him passionately and he gets to shoot her down, walking away all self righteous about how he must deny himself the girl.

In a lot of ways, this is a pretty good movie. They get to the spider bite fairly fast. It has a terrific cast (J.K. Simmons as J. Jonah Jameson looks like he stepped directly out of the comic book-as does Elizabeth Bank’s Betty Brant). Rosemary Harris makes a great Aunt May, physically frail, yet strong of heart, she is wise, generous and loving. Willem Defoe is a terrific bad guy, playing a well meaning but flawed science guy who cracks under pressure. Who loves his kid, but fails to show it, and often impedes it by fawning over Peter. Mary Jane seems to lack the spark and confidence of the comics. She is a little to down all the time, and the Mary Jane Watson of the comics is vivacious and full of life. Mary Jane in the film seems sad and generally miserable. Maguire is pretty solid as Peter, bringing both heartache and humor to the role (especially his excitement over his new found powers).

The film’s effects range from impressive to really obvious CGI-especially when Spidey is swinging through the city on his webs. Overall, though, they work well enough to sell the film.

The writing ranges from good…the Uncle Ben sequences are strong…Raimi and the writers really get how important this is to “who Spider-Man is.” Peter Parker can be a bit of a selfish jerk, and it is that loss that propels him to look beyond himself. Chris Sims at Comics Alliance addressed this incredibly well in his column on why Spider-Man is the best character ever.

On the other end, the writing can get hokey…see the Brooklyn Bridge scene.

The other thing that just does not work is the Green Goblin costume. Frankly? It is terrible. The character in the comic could look kind of goofy in his purple costume, but he had an expressive face. You have Willem Defoe-a distinctive face that is full of character…and instead of makeup that would be let us see his eyes and mouth we are given an emotionless, frozen helmet. Terrible idea. And speaking of that helmet…this was a military project…why are you offering the military a helmet that says “a super villain might wear this”? That Goblin outfit is just a huge miss, and surprising to boot. Raimi clearly loves the Ditko era Spider-Man, but his Green Goblin screams 90’s EXTREME COMICS. The only thing missing is big shoulder pads and 70 pouches.

The story is kind of dull, Green Goblin really has few motives…first revenge and then to hassle Spider-Man…it is not that Spidey is getting in his way…he just wants to hassle Spidey since he is the good guy. And then, when Spider-Man is gone…he…uh…well…uh…

Like I said, it is decent enough entertainment, with some really strong moments, but overall not terribly great. It gives us a rough idea of who is who our leads are, but feels more like set up than a story being told for it’s own sake.

September 1, 2016 0

Hardly a Drag (Drag Me to Hell, 2009)

Twenty some years ago Sam Raimi made an impression on the film world with a low budget horror film called the Evil Dead. Now a cult classic, he turned his skills to the big leagues with some varied success in the Spider-Man franchise. For a long time fans have hoped Sam would re-visit his horror roots as more than a producer.

This year he did, and it was well worth the wait. Drag Me To Hell is a full return to form of films like Evil Dead 2:Dead By Dawn and Army of Darkness. It’s filled with jumps and humor.

Drag Me to Hell is the story of Christine, (Alison Lohman) a young loan officer. She has a boyfriend, a psychology professor named Clay (Justin Long), and is trying to get a promotion to assistant manager at her bank. Christine is, however, nice and sweet. While this makes her appealing to her boyfriend, but her sweetness and honesty is hampering her ability to be the aggressive shark her boss (David Paymer) wants. It doesn’t help that her competition, Stu (Reggie Lee) is an unethical and lying jerk.

When a elderly Hungarian woman, Mrs. Ganush, (Lorna Raver) comes in and begs for an her third extension on her mortgage. Due to illness, she has fallen behind in her payments yet again. Christine’s initial instinct is to help this woman who is clearly in need. When she speaks to her boss, he hints that making the tough decision may be needed here, but leaves the decision in her hands. She has the opportunity to be a good Samaritan but instead denies Mrs. Ganush the extension, recommending she move in with her family. The old woman falls to her knees begging for mercy, and she is dragged out by security.

After this, things start looking up, her boss is impressed with her willingness to be tough, and even looks over a plan she has written up and decided he wants to show corporate. But this is a horror movie! Christine is met by the woman after work, and after a literal knock down and drag out fight (Stapler to the forehead!!!) between the two, the old woman puts a curse on on Christine and promises that someday soon, Christine will be the one begging for help.

Then things really go downhill for Christine. She hears voices, gets attacked by unseen demons and has an extreme nosebleed. Christine and her Boyfriend (a true skeptic and non-believer in a spiritual world) visit psychic Rahm Jas (Dileep Rao). He quickly shows himself to be invaluable, helping Christine understand the nature of the curse and how she might avoid the consequences.

As the situation escalates, Christine starts to take more and more extreme measures to avoid her terrible fate. The trouble is, she has three days to do it, once the third day passes, the demon (called a Lamia) will drag her to hell.

The cast does a good job with making it seem believable, considering how over the top things get. Justin Long was surprising effective as the caring boyfriend. Raver plays Mrs. Ganush at first with great sympathy, she is easy to take pity on, yet she becomes intensely scary after she is humiliated by Christine.

Raimi makes terrific use of shadows and sound to produce scares. The film has much cartoonish grossness that becomes so outrageous, it is hard not to laugh. But the thing here is that it’s okay to laugh. You are not laughing because Raimi is failing-he is succeeding. This is a humorous film, as well as a scary morality play. The effects are a blend of natural make up and CGI, which Raimi has worked to master through the Spider-Man films. And it’s very effective here.

The twists at the end of the film make for a classic horror payoff, and I would not want it to end any other way.

Back when the film hit theaters, I remember a feminist writer stating that the film was anti-woman. That it’s moral was that women should not be assertive and should be punished when they are. This is a woeful misread of the film. First and foremost? You could have had a guy in the lead and told the exact same story. The moral is that you should not be cruel just to achieve more for yourself. Christine had a choice, and yes, doing the right thing may have meant she would not get the promotion. But often in life, doing the right thing…the ethical thing can cost you. Just because I want a success does not mean I should achieve it at the expense of hurting someone in need of help. This film is not anti-business woman. Nor is it anti-woman in general. It is “anti-being a dick.” As I said, you could have easily put a man in the role. I suspect the reason the story is about a woman and not a man is…well, I think horror audiences are quicker to be sympathetic to female leads.

One of the wonderful things is that Lohman is so likable that you dread the notion she might fail and hope she is able to remove the curse.

October 24, 2015 0

It Gets Old (3 Geezers, 2013)

3 Geezers has the following synopsis:

Follow actor J Kimball as he researches what it’s like to be old for a role in an upcoming movie. When he meets the residents at The Coconuts convalescent home, he quickly discovers that his perceptions of the elderly may be off from today’s reality. After being on the wrong end of some pranks, J enlists the help of his Hollywood friends to turn the tides. Mayhem ensues.

This was from the IMDB. This is not the movie I sat through.

J.K. Simmons is a great actor, but he seems to be casually moving through this mockumentary. His performance is so low key and disinterested it does not bode well for the film. J Kimball tells us how the movie he agreed to be in is terrible, but he had no choice, because the screenplay was written by his brother-in-law.

It should be noted, the film is directed by Simmon’s real life wife and written by his brother-in-law. One can only hope this is conscious self-deprecation. It is not highly effective.

There is, by the way, no obvious turning point where Kimball seeks revenge. He takes the old guys to Laser Tag. But really, J.K. Simmons disappears for great lengths of the film, as it really focuses on raunchy old people jokes. And some of the jokes are genuinely funny, though I cannot say anyone was ever asking for a recreation of the Judge Reinhold/Phoebe Cates pool sequence from Fast Times At Ridgemont High with elderly actors.

The real stars of the film are Victor (Basil Hoffman), Bernard (Lou Beatty Jr, who gets the best jokes), Rex (Will Bonaiuto) and Ruth (Beverly Polcyn). They are who the film really follows. If you look at the poster, of course, they do not appear. Instead you have Tim Allen, Kevin Pollak, Randy Couture, Breckin Meyer and Fernanda Romero. All appear for about three minutes or less.

The film wanders aimlessly and never seems to find it’s actual plot. It feels as if the writers and director decided “lets try something we have not done before” and sucked a bunch of family and friends in for the experiment. Sadly, it is just not successful.

September 6, 2015 0