Need a Way Bigger Boat (The Meg, 2018)

The_Meg_PosterA few years ago deep dive rescuer Jonas made a critical decision that cost him his job. Jump ahead to the present and a deep sea exploration team has become trapped deep in the ocean after discovering a hidden world teeming with life…including giant Megalodon sharks. They bring in Jonas to conduct a rescue…but after the rescue it appears they are not the only ones to return to the surface.

Is the Meg a great film? No. Like the books it is inspired by, it is cheesy.  The film is full of over the top characters (at one point Rainn Wilson’s excitable billionaire notes that Statham’s Jonas has a heroic walk, but seems to have a bad attitude).

This is pretty much…what if Jaws was a big action movie.  And you know what? It is a lot of fun.  I had a whole lot of fun watching this one. It is action packed and has a rather engaging cast. This second part is important because these characters are not particularly deep, but the cast tends to imbue them with enough personality to make for an entertaining and cheesy ride.

No, it is not a great film. The Meg is not a classic, bt it is dumb and goofy fun.

You Can’t Eat the Teachers, Man! (Cooties, 2015)

cooties_posterKids are mean.  We all know that.  Cooties just takes that to the next level.  Cooties opens with the most gruesome images possible.  Chickens being ground into chicken nuggets. Because tainted chicken nuggets will cause stuff.

Then we meet Clint (Elijah Wood), an aspiring writer making ends meet as a substitute teacher.  He has no real heart for it…he uses his class to get notes on his horror novel.  In the midst of a reading, the class bully is attacked by by a girl he was teasing, getting a severe bite.

Soon, the teachers find themselves trying to survive in a school of zombie children.  They hope to hold out in a room, but this is a horror film.  Mayhem cannot be avoided.

And a hilarious massacre it is.  The film’s zombie still behave like kids, they run, they jump, they play with grown ups by ripping them to pieces.  Just like my nephews.  But seriously, the film takes an absurd premise and has a lot of fun with it.

While there is nothing truly original in the setups, the writing makes great use of cliched things like love triangles, absurdly overbearing gym teachers, clueless adults, etc.  The film has fun with it’s cliches, rather than hiding behind it to pretend to have a plot.

Along with clever writing, the film is populated with terrific comedic character actors such as Rainn Wilson, Nasim Pedrad and Jack McBrayer.  Elijah Wood and Alison Pill are terrific fun as well.  And Leigh Wannell (one of the few actor’s known for his straight up horror roles) is entertaining as an oddball science teacher.  Oh yeah, and Jorge Garcia from Lost is quite entertaining as a stoner school crossing guard.

Much like Tucker and Dale Versus Evil, the film is quite gory, yet somehow manages to not overpower the comedy.  The effects are solid and help sell the horror side of the film.  Simply put, I was laughing throughout the film, and was engaged by the characters through the entire film.

Dwight Dons Spandex (Super, 2011)

super_posterYou remember that movie Kick Ass?  You know, the one where the loser kid wonders why nobody ever fights crime in a costume-so he decides to do it?  And teams up with a precocious ten year old girl who kills people and swears a lot?  And how it was all seen as good something sane people would do?

James Gunn (writer director of Slither and Guardians of the Galaxy) thought that film was full of $#!^ (to use comic book talk).  In the world of Super, in which Dwight from the Office has a mental breakdown and decides to fight the evil Kevin Bacon to save his elvish wife with the help of Juno, you have to be a little off to want to put on a costume and fight crime.

The story centers on Frank (Rainn Wilson, Dwight on the Office).  Frank has lived a life of humiliation after humiliation.  His only two good moments were marrying his wife Sarah (Liv Tyler) and the time he helped catch a criminal.  His wife falls in with a bad crowd, hooked on drugs and eventually, she leaves him.

Frank sees a cheesy Christian Super-Hero called The Holy Avenger (played by Nathan Fillion) on TV (think Bibleman).  Later, after pouring his heart out in a prayer, Frank has a vision.  This vision convinces him he has a special calling.  And so he vows to fight crime in a costume with a night stick.

Beating up criminals makes him a public phenomenon at first, until Frank overreacts to a guy who makes a slight social faux pas.  He meets Libby (Ellen Page), who discovers his identity and becomes obsessed with being his “kid” sidekick.  What soon becomes apparent is that she is not interested in doing what is right so much as the action and rush involved.

That the film can be very dark was not truly a surprise to me.  It really does present the idea of super-hero work as requiring that you be a bit disturbed.  While not a new idea in comics (Garth Ennis makes quite a living off of the notion) after several years of stable heroes in film…this rather cynical take works pretty well.  Of course, it came out the same year as the film Defendor-and even covers similar ground.  But still, Wilson makes a pretty compelling mental case, who can be endearing and yet a bit scary.  Kevin Bacon is good as a low level drug kingpin wanna be, while Page goes from a fun exuberance to a really uncomfortable and tragic place.  Gunn really makes the story work, and finding a way to inject satire in with sincerity that is usually very hard to get right.

There is a brutal honesty when Frank is on his knees, in tears begging God for an answer as to why his life seems so stacked against him.  He pours out every bit of self resentment and begs God for an answer…why do I have to look like this?  Why couldn’t I have been smarter?  Cooler?  More lovable.

Frank is messed up, but you can understand and sympathize as to why.  He really wants life to be more simple than it is.  Underpinning the film is a rather grim and unpleasant portrayal of violence that challenges the cool action hero of something like Kick Ass.  It is disturbing and lacks the “cool one liners and puns” prevalent to other violent action heroes.

And yet, in spite of the grimness, the film finds a way to end on an upbeat and even inspirational note, without feeling false or tacked on.  It never justifies what went on before, instead suggesting some healing for Frank.

Super really caught me off guard, in spite of having heard positive raves about it, I think I anticipated a more gritty take on Kick Ass, but I got something much better out of it.  Yes, it was violent, but it was also thoughtful, touching and inspirational.

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