Tag: John Gulager

Sweet Suffering Pt 10 (Hellraiser: Judgement, 2018)

Hellraiser_Judgement_PosterWhile the studio had entertained the notion of a full reboot, they settled on a sequel instead, to be run by make up effects designer, writer and director Gary J. Tunnicliff.

Three detectives (two of whom are brothers) are tracking a gruesome serial killer. But asa they search for clues and information, they find that their killer may not be exclusively of this world. One of the brothers is haunted by nightmares after a terrifying experience in which he is brought before the Auditor.

The film adds an entirely new bit of mythology, that kind of ties Pinhead to an old school religious demon role. The Auditor sits and has those who open the box sit and confess their sins. They then feed the confessions to Assessor who then vomits them to the jury who give judgement…adding a whole trial process is kind of interesting. It is more gross than horrifying, and really, not the kind of grossness you would normally associate with the franchise. They also introduce an opposite to Pinhead in a

The Auditor is probably the most interesting addition. He types the confessions using the Confessor’s own blood. This creates quite a visual. However, at the same time, the color schemes for scenes involving Pinhead really dull the character down. While the Actor looks a little more like Bradley’s Pinhead in make-up, the dark blues and bright whites light Pinhead in a distinct and ominous way that Judgement fails to do. And this is just not Doug Bradley…and so it never really feels like Pinhead for me.

The final product is some interesting ideas, but nothing all that compelling to watch.

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Fishies Pt 5 (Piranha 3DD, 2012)

piranha_3dd_posterThe surprise success of Piranha 3D (which has a 73% Fresh Rating) resulted in another 3-D sequel.  Apparently the takeaway for this film’s “creative team” from the previous film’s success was boobs.  The title, Piranha 3DD?  The posters?  The plot?

The story centers around a water park run by David Koechner’s Chet and the return of his step daughter Maddy (Danielle Panabaker, the Flash).  Maddy’s mother has died and Chet is a classy guy introducing an adult section to the Water Park.  Maddy is appalled, but also happy to be back to see her friends.

The prehistoric fish are back, having escaped into a water supply, ultimately reaching the lake by the water park.  There are corrupt cops (Maddy’s boyfriend, because…oh who cares) working with Chet to turn a blind eye to his cost cutting ways.  The fish get into the park’s water system, eat people and cause carnage.

This film is gleefully trashy, yet manages to miss the mark entirely.  The jokes are a bit more mean spirited and the characters are, at best, not terribly interesting to  to watch.  At worst, they are pretty unlikable.  Keochner’s Chet is unlikable, but that is typical for characters he plays.  So, as opposed to other unlikable characters, he is hilarious in his unlikable nature.

The film just falls apart and the plot becomes lost very quickly.  The cameos are, mostly, not clever.  Other than David Hasselhoff, the cameos have no real connection to water based horror.  I mean, Hasselhoff is part of water themed horror.  But Gary Busey?

Along with Koechner, there are some other bright spots.  Paul Scheer and Ving Rhames return, in spite of it appearing both died in the last film.  To be fair, Scheer literally disappears from the movie.  He and Rhames have come to the park to challenge their fear of water (apparently the piranha attack in Lake Victoria was traumatic…babies).  When the Piranhas show up, Rhames reveals his fake legs are also shotguns.  Oddly, Rhames does not appear in the credits.  David Hasselhoff is amusing portraying himself as a rather detached and delusional star.  And  Christopher Lloyd makes a reappearance as entertaining as the previous film.  But it is a pretty short scene.

But this film stumbles in trying to outdo the gore and nudity of the previous film.  It makes Aja’s film to look like art.  Heck, the closing credits take forever, because they are filled with “gags” and “bloopers”.  This film fails while trying to imitate it’s predecessor. Remember that Piranha 3D Rotten Tomatoes rating of 73%? 3DD is at 4%…and deservedly so.

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