Surf the Skies (Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, 2007)

I think people were a little surprised that the Fantastic Four got a sequel. And you gotta admit, doing the Silver Surfer/Galactus saga is a grand idea. Then they get Doug Jones for the physical body and Laurence Fishburne as the voice of the Silver Surfer (this was not actually a great idea in retrospect). Things are looking good! Man, who will they cast a Galactus, right?! Will he be totally CGI or what?!

So, we start off with Galactus eating a planet. Actually, we get a planet sized version of the Smoke Creature from Lost. Not kidding. Maybe Galactus is inside the cloud, right?! Then the Silver Surfer heads towards earth… where we find Sue totally freaking out about her pending nuptials. Seriously, how freaky must an invisible Bridezilla be?! But the Surfer ruins their first wedding attempt.

Johnny chases after the Surfer and ends up being dragged nearly into out space. He has trouble as he falls to earth. We find out that this is due to the effects of the cosmic energy that the Silver Surfer gives off. The Surfer continues gliding across the globe-his magic (so to speak) starts to impact the atmosphere and even frees Dr. Doom from his statue state.

Reed discovers Johnny can now switch powers with his team mates. This allows for another “Sue Caught Naked In Public” scene. It also gives an amusing moment when Johnny becomes Thing-i-fied and Ben returns to normal and has fire powers. The team has to try and save people from the effects of the Surfer’s travels, and find it harder than usual as they keep switching powers every time Johnny bumps into someone.

Reed soon discovers a pattern by tracing the Silver Surfer’s path through the cosmos. All the planets he has visited have been destroyed. So he starts formulating a plan to catch the Surfer. Both the Military and Dr. Doom join in. Of course, the audience knows he has an ulterior motive. Sue, meanwhile contributes about whining about not getting married yet. Eventually, they catch the Surfer (partially because he is enamored by Sue). This is when Doom strikes, stealing the Surfer’s tubular board-the apparent source of his power.

Dr. Doom plans to rule the world-while the giant cloud of smoke threatens to destroy it. The Fantastic Four tries to fight Cosmic Doom, but instead, he hits Sue with a fatal shot. Johnny takes everyone’s powers and beats the crap out of Doom, gets the Surfer his board back. The Surfer uses his magic to heal Sue and he flies into space to take on Galactus. So, now we finally get to see the real Galactus!!! AWESOME!!!! Oh wait…it actually is just a big cloud.

The Surfer seems to sacrifice himself to save the earth (except we find out he survived for a potential spin off). Reed and Sue get married and everyone is totally happy.

Well, except the viewer. The first film stumbled a lot, and the folks behind the this one (the same team as the first, pretty much) seemed to indicate they learned their lesson. But from character design to strange choices… Sue is once again reduced to offering little in the way of being a strong heroine, as she spends the whole film whining about getting married. It gets so bad that she chastises Reed both for having fun dancing in a club and also trying to protect the world instead of focusing on getting married. Because…why save the world, y’know?

While the power switching issue is an interesting concept, it never quite gels. And frankly, a Fantastic Four movie where three members sit out the final battle and one member pummels the bad guy? It kind of misses the point of calling them the Fantastic Four.

Galactus seems so secondary as a threat… Doctor Doom and his scheme to get the Surfer’s power. Once he has that power? He does not run off to stop Galactus from destroying the planet he wants to rule. No, he just goes around flaunting his power. This is a terrible lapse in logic and reduces one of the great complex comic book villains to Bad Guy with No Real Plan.

And let’s look at Galactus. I’ve commented on this before, but it bears repeating. A giant cloud is not awe inspiring. I get that folks involved might have thought the traditional appearance of the character would look goofy. But the cloud has no identity. What, a large (twelve feet or so) guy in a ship that is his life support machine was impossible to create? Make the ship in the shape of the helmet from the comics as a tip to fans. Done.

I will say that I found Ioan Gruffud far more engaging this time around. McMahon less so. Evans and Chiklis were terrific…and Alba? Well, god bless her, she tries to make a thankless role work… but they really give her two jobs… pout and be pretty. And yet again, the second film finds a way to get a sequence where she is naked in public. Oi. Kerry Washington is back as Alicia Masters…she does fine, but the role is pretty much there to show that the only person who could love Ben Grimm is a person unable to see him. Granted, that is part of the character in the comics as well…but still.

I will say the effects are pretty solid, and the Silver Surfer looks terrific. And Doug Jones is a top notch performer. I had the opportunity to speak with Jones last year and he noted he had actually been recording a really unique voice for the Surfer, which makes it a shame they over dubbed him, even if it was Laurence Fishburne.

Instead of stepping up and blowing it’s predecessor out of the water, the second film feels even more lackluster, and screws up a great comic story that should have been pretty easy to pull off.

September 13, 2016 0

The Four (Fantastic Four, 2005)

Oh…the controversy. The first Fantastic Four film was coming up after the successes of X2 and Spider-Man. The time seemed ripe to bring forth Marvel’s first family. This is not the first attempt. Roger Corman made an absolutely terrible film simply to retain the film rights in the early 90’s. The film was available on the convention circuit, but was never officially released.

Created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, the Fantastic Four ushered in the age of Marvel comics. Spider-Man and the X-Men may have gotten to the big screen first, but the First Family? Well…they were…uh…first. Lee and Kirby produced 102 issues of grand cosmic adventures.

The 2000’s seemed like an ideal time to adapt the film, because effects allowed the possibility of the characters not looking quite so ridiculous. And both X2 and Spider-Man 2 had proven what you could do with a comic book movie.

Marvel hired Tim Story, who at that time had Barbershop and Taxi as the big films under his belt. Writers Mark Frost and Michael France had long histories (Frost wrote for Twin Peaks and a lot of television since then, while France contributed to several Marvel films). The announcement of Story was surprising, as this was a big event movie. But one of the reasons Marvel brought him on board was to have the focus be on the family dynamic of the Fantastic Four. This is important, because it is that family dynamic that makes the Fantastic Four work. They are not simply four team members. They are a family unit and operate as such.

The first big controversy was the announcement of Jessica Alba. Specifically, former Fantastic Four writer/artist John Byrne declared Hispanic women who dye their hair blonde look like prostitutes. He’s all class.

The film begins with Reed Richards (Ioan Gruffud) and Ben Grimm (Michael Chiklis) making a pitch to Victor Von Doom (Julian McMahon), Science Based Industrialist. He has the money, while Reed is on hard times. Agreeing to do a test involving a cosmic cloud that will pass by Earth, the crew-comprised of Reed, Ben, Victor, Sue Storm (Alba) and hot Hamish Linklatershot pilot (and Sue’s Brother) Johnny Storm (Chris Evans).

Due to a miscalculation, the storm hits earlier than expected. When the crew comes to on back on earth, they find themselves quarantined in a very fancy mountaintop chalet. They start to notice changes. Sue starts to fade, Reed can stretch like rubber, Johnny can generate fire and Ben? He gains weight. Well, that and turns into an orange rock monster.

In a moment of desperation, Ben unintentionally causes an accident, and then goes about trying to save people. The other three jump in and help. After successfully averting a fatal disaster, they find themselves to be celebrities. Reed discovers that their space suits now work in conjunction with their powers. Reed begins a search to cure the four. However, Johnny is enjoying his powers. While showing off, he gives them all code names-The Invisible Girl (to which Sue bristles), Mr. Fantastic, the Human Torch and the Thing.

Meanwhile, Doom is having troubles of his own. He is apparently mutating, and his board of directors is taking him company out from under him. Doom is growing more and more paranoid. He soon discovers he can manipulate electricity. He starts exacting his revenge.

Ben meets a young woman named Alicia (Kerry Washington) who is a blind sculptor. She is instantly smitten, while Ben cannot understand why she would be interested in a monster.

Johnny continues to revel in his popularity, while Reed works to solve the riddle of returning them to normal and re-kindling his romance with Sue. Victor sees his opportunity. Victor helps Ben reverse his condition, but Ben realizes this is mistake, as the Fantastic Four is a family and a team who all bring something to the table with their powers. After Ben gets his powers restored, they have an all out battle with Doom, learning to work together as a team and taking Dr. Doom down.

To be blunt…the film is just not that great. Oh, it has it’s moments. The sequence where they save people on the bridge is thrilling. The resolution of their fight with Doctor Doom is solid. There is a lot of humor and nice touches (Johnny walking along popping popcorn with his hand). But so much of the problem lies in the villain’s motivation. Why is he so keen to kill our heroes? Sure, he’s jealous, and he becomes paranoid…but it feels like there is no real solid reason for Victor getting his hate on.

The casting is troubling as well. Now don’t get me wrong, Chiklis was inspired casting. He plays a perfect Ben Grimm. And Chris Evans is terrific as Johnny Storm. He is brash and excited, loving his powers. He uses his powers for fun as well as heroics. The chemistry between Chiklis and Evans is pretty great, they really capture that spirit of the adversarial friendship from the comics. The adversarial part is played up a little more, but it still makes for some enjoyable exchanges. And Julian McMahon does make a good Doom. He portrays the arrogant pride very well.

But then there is Ioan Gruffud. He has been good in other roles, but for some reason, his Reed Richards is pretty dull. And JessicaAlba. Oh, I get the idea of casting her. At the time she was more of a draw, giving them star power. And they took advantage of the casting (a gag wear Sue disrobes in public and suddenly becomes visible was apparently added after she had read the script). I get it, she’s pretty. But the problem is, Alba comes across as so much younger than everyone else-including her younger brother Johnny. It becomes hard to buy that she and Reed have some sort of broken past that needs mending.

Another big problem is some of the story choices. Specifically as this was meant to kick off a franchise. Curing Ben, albeit temporarily, in the first film is a poor choice. This is a franchise…build on that. Save it for down the road. Let it mean some something to the fans. Let it breathe, rather than be a five minute bit in the film.

This could have been a fun film, and the extended cut they released is a definite improvement. But this film does not rise to the levels of even the first X-Men and Spider-Man films.

September 12, 2016 0

Hulk Mad! Need Reboot! (The Incredible Hulk, 2008)

So, Ang Lee’s Hulk just did not quite work. With no sequel on the horizon, the rights reverted back to Marvel, allowing them to add this film to their budding extravaganza. Gone were the stars of the original and director Ang Lee. In was director Louis Leterrier and star Ed Norton. A part of me was disappointed we lost Bana and Sam Elliot…but it is hard to complain about actors like Norton and William Hurt.

The film starts out with Bruce Banner on the run. The credits hint at an experiment gone wrong, Betty Ross (Liv Tyler) getting hospitalized and General Thunderbolt Ross (William Hurt) both threatening Banner and looking pretty heartbroken over his daughter’s condition. (there is a nice nod to the television show in this sequence)

Banner is now hiding in Rio De Janeiro, working at a cola bottling plant. He is trying to learn different techniques to avoid overstimulating his system and becoming the Hulk. He is corresponding with someone code-named Mr. Blue (who is stateside) and going by Mr. Green. They connect via encrypted internet and mail. He is also trying to learn the language watching Sesame Street.

A discovery of gamma poisoning via cola from Rio De Janeiro gets the attention of Thunderbolt Ross. The General assembles a team that includes Russian born elite soldier Emil Blonsky (Tim Roth), on loan from Britain. They set out for Rio De Janeiro based on tracing the soft drink shipment.

Banner gets away and hurries back to the states to get information that Mr. Blue needs.

He goes to the university, where he sees Betty…and her new boyfriend, psychiatrist Leonard Samson (Modern Family’s Ty Burrell). Slipping away he pretends to be delivering a pizza. In a fun cameo, Security guard Lou Ferrigno (who was a security gurd in Ang Lees film and provides the voice of the Hulk in this film) bribing his way into a computer lab where he tries to hack into the system…but he find all the files are gone.

General Ross convinces Blonsky to undergo treatment… they inject him with an experimental super-soldier drug that was an attempt to replicate a serum that was lost. It enhances Emil’s speed, strength and senses.

It turns out to not be enough, as the Hulk swats him like a fly. Later, General Ross goes to check on Blonsky, only to discover he is healing rapidly.

While that is going on, Betty and Bruce are on the run, trying to reach Mr. Blue. They do find him and he is thrilled to meet Bruce. Mr Blue is revealed to be scientist Samuel Sterns (Tim Blake Nelson) and he has been busy replicating Bruce’s blood for tests. They attempt a test to cure Bruce. They appear to cure Bruce, but the military breaks in, Sterns is infected with some of Bruce’s blood after being coerced to inject Blonsky with Banner’s blood.

This leads to a big time smack down between the Hulk and Blonsky.

This film gets a lot right that the previous version got wrong. First and foremost…something to smash. Inner turmoil is important to the subtext of the Hulk…but he still needs to break stuff. The battles are pretty fun, especially the final battle. The film also ties into the comics really well, managing to include many characters in ways that never feel forced. The introduction of Leonard Samson seems like it could have been a nice setup, as the sequence with Sterns, who was clearly being set up for the next film’s villain. In the comics, Sterns becomes the megalomaniac and possessor of a giant brain and forehead known as the Leader. Sampson was infected with low level gamma radiation and became strong (and his hair turned green), but he retained his intelligence.

Ed Norton does a nice job, and apparently rewrote much of the script. It appears to have served him well. William Hurt is a different approach than Elliot…but he does a terrific job. While there was no Hulk sequel, He did return in the Avengers (albeit with a new actor) which was wise. Live Tyler is stuck as the love interest, and she does a fine job… Though while they indicate she is a scientist…we see no real evidence of it. Tim Roth is great as Blonsky.

There are some confusing things… The film plays loose with the cause of the changes…both anger and simple excitement are credited. It gets a little to much slow motion heavy in the action scenes. But it is a lot of fun with a solid cast. It also made for a decent building block for the Marvel Universe, especially the reference to the super soldier serum. The film made it’s other major tie to the Larger Marvel Cinematic Universe is an appearance by another major player in the post credits scene.

September 9, 2016 0

Hulk Smash Poodle! (Hulk, 2003)

Truthfully, the idea of “get the visionary behind Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon to direct this film” struck me as brilliant. So I went into this film with a bias towards it.

Hulk is definitely made more for the comic reader than the person who loved the show as a kid. That said, it takes great liberties. Liberties are not bad, and sometimes are greatly understandable. Especially considering that the Hulk had decades as an established character who was constantly changing.

Right away, Bruce Banner (Eric Bana) is established as a rather emotionless guy. Not really emotionless, but suppressed. He just keeps taking hits like a punching bag. His relationship to Betty Ross (Jennifer Connelly) seems to be in limbo. Greedy private sector profiteer Talbot (Josh Lucas) is trying to sweep Betty off her feet. Betty’s father Thunderbolt Ross (Sam Elliot) is not impressed with Banner. And the new night janitor is kind of a weirdo.

While working on an experiment, something goes wrong. Bruce saves his assistant, but traps Bruce in the room while Betty and the assistant watch in horror-expecting to see Banner die. Miraculously, it seems, he survives. Unknown to anyone he has changed.

Bruce gets frustrated and his temper builds, unleashing years of repression he becomes a big, hulking green monster. A mass of muscles, unable to communicate beyond growls and roars. Talbot sees dollars signs, Thunderbolt sees a weapon, Betty wants to save him and the creepy janitor is just still creepy.

It is soon revealed that the creepy janitor is actually Nick Nolte-or rather Bruce’s long lost father. Father is not back because he missed his son, but rater because he is a mad scientist wanting his son’s genetic material. Ew. That sounds gross. He uses some of Bruce’s blood to create a formula to make Hulk Dogs. Really. Including a poodle. Betty has discovered who the janitor truly was and that he was up to no good. Betty is stalked by the hounds, but the Hulk battles the Hulk Dogs to the death.

Eventually, it is made clear that the accident merely released the Hulk, but that the but that the power was in Bruce’s genetics, as his father injected Bruce with some sort of enhancement drug he was working on for General Ross. Apparently, it drove Father crazy, but Bruce just got really repressed.

All attempts to subdue the Hulk end in failure. Then, while trying to replicate his son’s “success”, father gives himself some kind of vague absorbing powers. He sets up a meeting with Bruce, attended by the army. They have Bruce hooked up to a chair that will electrocute him before he can change. So, of course, father absords the electricity. He then tries to get Bruce to transform. The fight that ensues is…well, the most “Huh” I have seen in a few minutes time ever.

In the end, the Father absorbs the Hulk, turns into a giant amoeba and is killed by Hulk’s rage. Or something. In the end, everyone thinks Bruce is dead, but we find out he is hiding in the jungle.

Ang Lee does a lot of visually interesting stuff in this film, he plays around with imitating comic book panels. He has a keen eye for the importance of backgrounds. Really, Lee seems great on paper.

The cast is solid. Bana makes for a terrific Bruce Banner, and I would have happily forked over money to see him in the role again. Josh Lucas is an appropriately amusing scheming douche-bag. Connelly is good, though the role is not very demanding. Sam Elliot is ideal for the role, which calls for his patented combo of gruff exterior and kind protector. Nolte is the odd man out, but that is because his character is a confusing mess. It is a thankless role, which is unfortunate.

The effects are pretty solid, the Hulk looks good most of the time. They have some neat concepts at work, like the more force used against the Hulk, the larger he gets. The big fight sequences with the military work pretty well.

As I mentioned, taking liberties are not inherently bad. But the whole idea that it was not the experiment that changed Bruce, but rather something done by his father to him…just feels like forced pathos. I admit, I always liked the hokey “saving Rick Jones and getting hit with the gamma blast” of the comics over the film and television take of a science room experiment gone wrong.

The subplot of the father is entirely unnecessary, and as a villain, the Father (the character has no name in the film other than the Father) briefly gets cool powers that he instantly understands how to use. And then proceeds to use in the dullest way possible to fight the Hulk. For reasons that do not fully make sense.

The biggest crime is…well, this is a Hulk movie. Your Big Bad should not be something the Hulk cannot hit. This is not Superman here, where you try and balance brains and brain. The Hulk is not a tactical fighter . He is a mass of angry muscle. You need to give an equal threat, but one that creates a visually interesting bit of combat. The Hulk jumping between clouds (yes, you read that right) and getting frozen in a lake? Not compelling action.

The worst part? The final few minutes are totally the start of a movie I want to see. We see Banner hiding out in the jungle helping the locals with his medical knowledge. Guerillas burst into the camp demanding medicines from Bruce and being quite aggressive. He utters that great line… “Don’t make me angry…you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.” And BAM! End of movie.

So, Ang Lee, not quite as successful as Bryan Singer. The formula is not always going to work, even when you take someone with great skill as a director. Sometimes, they just are not the right fit. And with three screenwriters, it is hard to tell where the story started giong off the rails? First draft? Second draft? The film ends up not being all that

September 8, 2016 2

The Second Most Amazing Spider-Man (the Amazing Spider-Man 2, 2014)

The Amazing Spider-Man 2 was pretty much greenlit before the previous film was released. Sony has been trying to make their Spider-Verse work…and to date they just cannot seem to find the footing. Spider-Man 2 was not just a sequel, it was meant to set up other films, such as a Sinister Six film.Which means the film is packed with villains.

We meet the Rhino, though he is only in the film for a few minutes, setting him up for a Sinister Six film. We also meet the Green Goblin and Electro. The film wastes Chris Cooper, who plays Norman Osborne. In the previous film we barely met Osborne. We were told he had a debilitating disease, and was eager for Dr. Conner’s work to have results. The disease apparently gnarls the body and turns flesh a greenish tint. Harry is brought home to see his father. His father tells him about the disease and how it is genetic. This sets up Harry to become obsessed with a cure as well. And he believes Spider-Man’s blood contains that cure. He and Peter re-kindle their friendship and when he finds out Peter “knows” Spider-Man, he begs him for help.

Meanwhile, Peter is constantly dating and then breaking up with Gwen. He is haunted by the “ghost” of Captain Stacy. So, they are together, then he gets emo and pushes Gwen away. It becomes frustrating.

Peter and Spider-Man deny Harry’s request causing a strain in the friendship. Jamie Fox plays Max Dillon as a nebbish but smart electrician. He fancies himself as Spider-Man’s friend after Spider-Man saves him and calls him his buddy. After a freak accident with a tank of electric eels, Max is given the power to generate and manipulate electricity. When Spider-Man cannot quite recognize him he becomes enraged. After Spider-Man takes him down, his anger only grows.

Of course, Harry becomes Green Goblin to gain revenge on Spider-Man and teams up with Electro to take Spidey down. In some ways, the Amazing Spider-Man 2 is better than the previous film. Spider-Man is a bit more Spider-Man. But they still have him mopey about his dad. In a flashback, we see where he and Peter’s mother went after dropping Peter off with Aunt May and Uncle Ben. The problem with this is that Uncle Ben is the catalyst for Peter Becoming Spider-Man and yet he seems to not spend much time dwelling on Ben, he is more driven to find out more about his dad.

The film recreates one of the comic books most tragic moments for Peter. And this results in Spider-Man disappearing for awhile. But, of course he comes back. The sequence where he returns to action is nicely done, involving a kid in a Spider-Man costume standing up to Rhino.

The biggest problem with this film is that it feels like a massive setup for other films. We even see a sequence where different costumes of future villains are on display cases. Tying all of Spider-Man’s rogues gallery makes for some lazy storytelling. The film is still entertaining, but not in a way that it would ever be seen as a classic. A third Amazing Spider-Man had been announced, but it was put on the back-burner. Eventually, it was scrapped all together and Sony partnered with Marvel Studios to bring Spider-Man into the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

September 7, 2016 0

The Ah-Mahzing Spider-Man (Amazing Spider-Man, 2012)

After Spider-Man 3 had it’s tepid response, Sony tried to cover it’s butt. They had Raimi developing a fourth Spider-Man film…and 500 Days of Summer Director Marc Webb (the humor there was not lost on anybody) was developing another Spider-Film. Sony decided to go with Marc Webb’s version and dumped the entire Raimi version. Webb promised this would not be a reboot, even though it would have an entirely new cast. In the end, we definitely got a reboot.

And the film has a focus that Raimi’s series never thought of. Peter is really upset about his parents disappearing. There is a big conspiracy based subplot where Richard Parker was actually involved with the experiments that result in Peter getting bit by the spider. And instead of the spider being some random research lab, Peter is bitten at Oscorp. On the other hand, it is nice to see this film not seeing how many villains that they can pack in. Instead, we are offered one new villain. And he was not featured in Raimi’s trilogy. He was set up, as Rhys Ifans is playing Doctor Curt Conners, who was played by Dylan Baker in the previous set of films. But we never met his alter-ego the lizard. And they make Peter part of his creation, because Everything Must Be Tied Together.

Really, there is plenty to like here. Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield have a wonderful chemistry. They were dating at the time, but that is never a guarantee of onscreen chemistry. Emma is great in the role of Gwen Stacy, while Denis Leary is her Police Chief father. Leary brings his working class everyman persona to the role and it is quite effective here. Sally Field and Martin Sheen make for a fine Aunt May and Uncle Ben. Andrew Garfield is likeable, and his Spider-Man is a wise cracker…but..Peter is excessively morose. He is constantly in a state of passive rage. And while there is comic book precedence for this in the early years, it feels out of place here.

Uncle Ben’s death seems…lacking. Peter storms out after an argument. Peter does not prevent a robbery at a convenience store, but it does not seem as effective as the comics version or Raimi’s first Spider-Man. Peter’s darkness, especially in relationship to his missing father (and it is really his father, Peter seems to not feel the same emptiness in regards to his mother). Peter has never been that haunted by the loss of his parents, he saw Aunt May and Uncle Ben as his parental figures.

One the biggest holes is…there is no J. Jonah Jameson. And it makes the film feel not quite like a Spider-Man story.

The Peter and Gwen story is compelling and the relationship between Peter And Captain Stacy make for great tension. At the same time, Peter makes a promise to Captain Stacy that he almost immediately breaks…and Peter is flat out unkind to Gwen in a moment where she really needs his support. He of all people should understand her loss, and he is pretty much a jerk.

The whole conspiracy aspect feels unnecessary and worse, drags the film down, even though it hinges on the conspiracy to make sense.

The effects are good, and they have improved a lot since 2002. The Spider-Man models and the Lizard look great, and are very slick. In the overall design, I appreciated the look of the new Spider-Man costume. It is colorful and stays faithful to the traditional costume of the comics.

There is plenty to like, some things that improve on the last incarnation and yet…where it fails, it fails pretty big. It is entertaining, but still does not reach…great.

September 6, 2016 0

Stretching the Web (Spider-Man 3, 2007)

The Spider-Man franchise is one of the first super-hero films to feature it’s entire series with the singular vision of a specific director. Raimi did a good job with the first one and a spectacular job with the second film. It still stands as a high watermark for the superhero film genre. Three is a bit more…complicated. There is a Spider-Man comic for Marvel to publish. The Complicated Spider-Man.

We open with Peter telling us just how awesome his life is. He has a hot girlfriend who is successfully performing plays, school is going excellently, he has money. It is here where we get our introduction to Gwen Stacy (Bryce Dallas Howard), who is apparently doing pretty well in school herself. Peter runs into Harry at MJ’s play. Peter is contemplating proposal, especially after a night of star watching with MJ. It is a fun use of powers in the scene as they lie next to each other in a giant web. Unknown to Peter, a meteor crashes near by and a black goo crawls out…it appears to have some sentience, as it leaps onto Peter’s scooter.

We get introduced to Flint Marko, played by the talented Thomas Haden Church. He has escaped prison and snuck into his home. In a nice bit of back-story, he has a daughter whom he loves very much, and the crimes he committed were to try and help her. Raimi was very good at finding human connections for the villains in all three films. You could sympathize with their motivations. On the other hand, There is Harry Osbourne…who is becoming a cartoonish revenged obsessed guy. I get that they want us to see him as a tragic figure…becoming his father, whom he always wanted to please. But it seems he is suddenly a technology genius he never was in the previous films.

Meanwhile, Peter declares his intentions to propose to Aunt May. As usual, Rosemary Harris hits it out of the park, reminiscing about when Uncle Ben proposed to her. Peter leaves feeling hopeful-only to be hit by a flying snow border. Yes. You heard me. Just like the terrible Green Goblin costume, the the Hobgoblin costume is terrible, only worse. This is rather stunning to me, because for all the efforts to visual fidelity by Raimi? Both Goblins look as distant from the comics as you can get. Great actor choices (both Defoe and Franco) and terrible outfits. They have a elaborate fight, that actually looks pretty good, and shows Peter has become quite skilled in his role. He manages to take down Harry-but almost kills him in the process. When he wakes up in the hospital, he has no memory of anything…that Peter is Spider-Man, how his father died, or that he was angry with Peter.

Meanwhile, Marko is on the run from the cops. He slips into a field used by a testing facility and falls into a pit. Suddenly, he hears something starting up. We then meet the worst scientists in the world. They notice a change in the mass, but shrug it off as a bird who will fly away. So, then they just continue the experiment. Marko is horrified as he seems to dissolve into dust, when the cops reach the pit, there is nothing there. This results in him coming back to life as living sand.

And so on and so on. The film goes through great effort to introduce character after character.

Peter is struggling to keep his relationship with MJ afloat, while getting a swelled head from all the love the public is giving him. Not to mention her concern that he never mentioned lab partner Gwen Stacy.

The film does the comic book trope of Retconning. This is where a story introduces some knew historical fact that we never knew about. Here it turns out that Flint Marko was the actual killer of Uncle Ben. This fills Peter with anger and thanks to the alien symbiote that has attached itself to him.

In a great moment, Peter thinks he has killed Marko and visits his Aunt May to tell her Marko is dead. But her reaction is confusing for Peter. She is not happy. And when he tells her that Spider-Man did it, she is confounded…because she knows Spider-Man is no killer. She was not seeking revenge, it is a dangerous path.

Peter becomes more and more selfish, mocking his friends, using other people. And in showing this, we are witness to one of the worst sequences of the entire franchise. Peter walks down the street, chest puffed out. Women are looking at him with desire. He then sees pics of Spider-Man robbing a bank. Peter goes to the Bugle. He shows proof that Brock doctored the photo. He get’s Brock fired. Peter is unmerciful, telling Brock if he wants forgiveness? “Go get religion.” This is last part actually a good moment…but it is surrounded by Peter acting cocky to seventies funk music. He buys a slick new suit, steps into the street with pelvic thrusts.

Now, it is meant to show us that the suit is changing Peter…making him more confident and aggressive. An alpha predator. But instead, most of it is totally goofy. We even get an embarrassing dance sequence. In the end, Peter realizes the suit is causing him to change and decides it is time to be free of it. Once he does, the symbiote finds the already angry Eddie Brock…the end result is Venom. This film has three villains, between Hobgoblin, Sandman and Venom. While Peter takes Harry out mid way through the film, it is to late to avoid the bloat.

The first thing that stands out to me in this film? It is pretty obvious that Venom was forced on Raimi. Venom is shoehorned in at the end, almost as if it was an obligation and frankly in a pretty clunky fashion at that. In the comics, Eddie was Peter’s opposite. He was a massive musclebound guy. The film opted more for a funhouse mirror image approach. Topher Grace is small and skinny, not unlike Peter. He is really Parker without the ethics. It works pretty well, for all it’s briefness, Grace makes Brock come off as the guy continuously reaping what he sows-but seeing himself as a victim of life. It is all about how other people ruined his life. Topher plays Brock as pretty creepy by the end…at one point, he is holding onto MJ, and says to Peter, “My Spider Sense is tingling…if you know what I mean.” and is motioning towards his crotch. Grace works with what he has.

As the Sandman? Church is perfectly cast. He looks like he walked off the page. He really is the Sandman, and is pretty sympathetic, while being a credible threat. And the Sandman effects are terrific. It is clear Raimi really wanted to use the Sandman, and his love of the character is obvious. They really show off the possibilities of such a power. The effects in general are great. Lots of fun Spider-Action.

The supporting cast is solid as usual. The regulars, such as J.K Simmons, Bill Nunn, Elizabeth Banks and Dylan Baker are there. We also have James Cromwell and Bryce Dallas Howard. As usual? Simmons hits it out of the park and gives some of the film’s funniest moments.

As for the Stacys, Cromwell gets almost no time, so there is no real sense of what Stacy is about. We know he is Gwen’s father, but he has almost no relationship to Peter or Spider-Man. Gwen is used in a criminal fashion. While Gwen moons over Peter Parker, she lacks a solid identity. The writers use her as a mere plot point to interfere in Peter and MJ’s relationship. I am a little surprised Raimi went along with this, but it really is disappointing. Bryce Dallas Howard looks terrific as Gwen, but she is barely a character. And she just disappears from the film.

Also disappointing? The black suit is just the Spider-Man costume painted black. It would have been nice to have at least seen the big white spider on the chest.

But what really hurts this film? It is just ridiculously over populated. We have three villains, separate motives and stories. You practically have two or three films worth of stuff. Really, it would have been better to give the the symbiote the story of Spider-Man 3 and make Venom the villain in number four. And it is unfortunate that they tried to cram in so much that no story point really gets to be dealt with in a satisfying way. It is so much, every story gets cheated.

Raimi ends his trilogy with a “Meh” instead of a “Hooray”…and that is unfortunate. After the heights of number 2, this film just feels so…messy and the result is it feels a bit mediocre. Oh, it has it’s moments, but nothing ever comes together.

September 5, 2016 0

Blog Themes

So, August had Comic Book movie as it’s theme. I had not intended it, I kind just of fell into it. I started because I thought it might be nice to get the rest of the X-Men films as to go along with the Apocalypse review. And then I though, why not the Superman movies, as I have reviewed Man of Steel and Batman V Superman. And it snowballed from there to focus on DC properties.

So, for September, I will be looking at several films from the Marvel Franchise, including some that were outside the Marvel Cinematic Universe. We will cover the good and the bad. Except George Lucas’ Howard the Duck.

And next month? Halloween, Baby. Scary movies and nothing but. Including a look at the films of John Carpenter.

September 4, 2016 0

But Can You Relate?!

I’ve seen a trend over the past several years in some fans of Spider-Man. They prize a certain aspect of the character among all others. And that is “relate-able”. In fact, they thrive and push for this to such an extreme that it suggests they do not understand the fundamental core of the character.

Spider-Man, and by extension Peter Parker, is not really about how relate-ability he is. It isn’t his girl problems, struggles to make ends meet or whatever. And what’s worse, some fans push for Peter to engage in behavior that… well, might be normal for the rest of us…but for Spidey? Not accurate at all. A few years ago, a neighbor showed me a letter in an issue of Spider-Man in which a young woman called for Peter to get tipsy and hook-up “like we all do”. First of all, “we” don’t “all do that”. But, hey, the point is, Spidey should be care free and not burdened with commitments and stuff.

This young woman is not alone. Apparently, the folks at Marvel felt the same way. A few years back, the did a story-line that undid the 20 year Spider-Marriage. Aunt May was on her death bed and to save her life, Peter and MJ made a deal with Marvel’s version of the Devil (Mephisto). He demanded they give up their happy marriage to save the life of Aunt May. The end result was nobody remembered the marriage of Peter and MJ. Joe Quesada and others would lament how they missed the Spidey with money trouble, girl problems…his steady job and marriage were an impediment to that. So Marvel got rid of those things. Peter’s marriage was erased. He was no longer a high school teacher. Because he had to be “relate-able”.

It blows my mind that people who supposedly know Spider-Man so well forgot a little something. The absolute core of the character of Spider-Man is this: With great power comes great responsibility. But Marvel and some of it’s fans want Peter Parker to have as few responsibilities as possible. Peter learns from his mistakes, even if sometimes the mantle of responsibility seem overwhelming. Sometime Peter wants to run away. But in the end, he makes the choices he has to, not always the ones he wants to.

Peter is not the type of hero that gets drunk or tipsy. He knows he has to be ready at all times, that he may have to step up to the plate as Spider-Man at anytime. Frankly, if your Spider-Man story features Peter Parker getting drunk and he doesn’t have a lesson to learn from it? You are writing the wrong character. That’s not Spider-Man. Period. He has to learn lessons, and avoid making repeat mistakes. And for a super hero? Getting tipsy or light headed is rarely a sensible option.

Peter may have struggled with job and relationships, but that is due to the interference of his alternate identity of Spider-Man. Peter Parker is, above all else, about responsibility and lessons learned. Not being a failure in relationships and jobs…those are situations where he ought to struggle to meet his high standards of responsibility. Peter Parker is not about “relate-ability”… he is about great responsibility.

September 3, 2016 0

On a Swing And a Prayer (Spider-Man 2, 2004)

Seriously…not the Amazing Spider-Man? Not Spectacular Spider-Man?! Despite the blandly titled Spider-Man 2…I sensed a trend for Marvel Movies.

The nice thing for the creative team was that they were not saddled with telling the origin story. Instead, they were free to jump right in to start a new story. And jump in they do-to Peter struggling to make ends meet with a job delivering pizzas by scooter. Realizing he is running out of time for the delivery, he switches into his spider-duds and swings through the city. He still fails to make the delivery on time…resulting in a chewing out from his boss. We find out that while he still pines for MJ, she is engaged to J. Jonah Jameson’s son (an Astronaut). Aunt May has fallen on hard times. Peter and Harry’s friendship is strained, as Harry has become a vocal anti-Spider-Man type after seeing Spider-Man deliver his dead father to their penthouse. His friendship with Mary Jane is stretched because he seems unreliable and unsupportive of her dreams.

On the other hand, Peter is thrilled when he is sent to take pictures at a press event for scientific hero of Parker’s- Dr. Otto Octavious (Alfred Molina). He is showing his new potential energy source. He also is showing off his “assistants”-a set of mechanical arms. The experiment goes awry (as scientific experiments are want to do) and Spider-Man jumps into the fray. Unfortunately, Otto is hospitalized and his wife killed in the turmoil.

The doctors find the arms fused to the Doctor’s body. The arms wake up and attack the hospital staff and taking the Doctor with them. Meanwhile, Peter is starting to have trouble with his powers, and is wanting to be done with Spider-Man. Understandably, he is tired about how much that aspect of his life interferes with the rest of his life. The arms apparently are driving Doc Ock a bit…crazy…he becomes obsessed with perfecting his experiment-not understanding that it is actually a destructive force.

The plot takes twists and turns, with Harry Osborne seeking Doctor Octopus’ help in catching Spider-Man, so he can take his revenge for his father’s death.Peter’s attempts at a regular life when his spider powers seem to be failing is handled nicely.

Sam Raimi really hit it out of the park here. Spider-Man 2 has everything a good comic book movie requires. It is exciting, funny, dramatic…when they announced the villain was Doctor Octopus, fans worried. I am unsure why. Spider-Man has a solid rogues gallery, second to Batman. And Doctor Octopus is a classic villain. And Spider-Man 2 beat all complaints into the ground. The casting of Alfred Molina was perfect. He manages to capture a wide range of character traits. In the beginning he is a funny, genial. Yet He becomes ominous and frightening.

Raimi reaches into his horror routes-especially in the hospital scene where Doc Ock’s arms violently come to life. It is intense and pretty scary sequence that definitely sets a tone for the film for the danger Spider-Man will face.

Maguire turns in a pretty nice performance as Parker again. And Kirsten Dunst does okay…but still lacks the real fire and spunk of the MJ in the comics. MJ is to depressed and beaten down by life to feel like the character comics fans know. Rosemary Harris’s performance as Aunt May is wonderful. The costuming department deserves credit for making sure actors looked like they sprung from the pages. Franco turns in a nice dark performance as Harry.

The writing for this film is much stronger than it’s predecessor. There is a “New Yorkers Unite” moment that is so very well done. After Spider-Man narrowly saves a train, the passengers save him.

Clearly, Raimi has a true love of the early Spider-Man books, and he shines with his choices in this installment. He modernizes the characters without sacrificing why they work. I was so pleased with this one that I could not wait for the third film. If you are doing a second installment of a super-hero franchise? You should watch this and X2. If you just like super-heroes? You should watch this and X2.

Of course, the most important aspect of the film is the presence of Community’s Joel McHale as “Bank Guy”.

September 2, 2016 0